“If it means that much to youse? This one night off? Being with them not me? Well, kind of me?” I asked.
“Yes!” Lily replied.
“He never let you do it?”
A long pause before she answered, “I was only ever allowed to attend as a fan, and never to see or touch him or go to the fucking after party. Only his famous leeches could.”
“Okay darling, well tonight, ye get to go have as much fun as you like, and I and pizza will be waiting for ye backstage. At any point ye have had enough, come through the stage door. I will make sure the person on pass check knows youse. Ye have your pass on youse? Or shall I leave one there?”
“I have it, hidden in my purse. Are you sure you are okay with this?”
“Anything youse need is yours, darling.”
“You are the best!”
“Love ye, English.” Crap, the words slipped out before I meant them to, we never used them to each other before.
“Love you, too.”
I smiled as I hung up. She really said them back to me. The words I needed to hear for so long. Maybe we did have a chance to make it together, as a real couple. The rehearsal continued, as we broke for a quick meal my phone started to buzz with multiple text messages.
‘Fucking uber fans.’
‘I am going to kill each and every one of them.’
‘If I hear one more entitled demand of what they want from you or the band I swear!’
‘Omg seriously, this woman thinks she is your wife and that she is going home with you tonight and these sheeple believe her. Oh, my dear, please do try harder to convince people to your status because the only woman in your bed tonight will be me!’
‘No bitch, you do not get to demand early access off the security guard or into the backstage area. Not even if you flash your tits, can you not see that guard is gay?’
‘No, you do not get to demand setlists already. Hell, do you even know the final setlist for tonight yet? Or are you still fiddling with the songs until the last minute as usual?’
‘Oh, bitch please, you think you can queue jump me who has been here since noon? Just because you attended a whole seventeen concerts last tour. Fuck you and get to the back of the line, whore!’
‘Oh, gods, I need vodka to deal with this much stupid. A whole pint of vodka.’
‘No, make it a bottle with a straw in the top.’
‘Kill me, please, just kill me.’
Harry looked over my shoulder reading the texts with me. “Sounds like Lil’s having a grand time with the fanbase.”
“Has she killed anyone yet?” Callum asked.
“Is there any video of her punching anyone yet?” Shelly asked. “Because I need to shut that down fast before the press work out that she knows you.”
Teddy just looked on, shaking his head.
Rose, where was that girl? Probably busy with getting costumes set up since we had two runners quit. People had no work ethic anymore.
And Claire? She was busy reading over the vocal changes, she barely spoke to any of us since she had told us she was leaving to tour with another band.
‘Darling, just buzz the stage door and come back in with us.’
‘No, damn you! I want my fan experience.’
‘Dearest one, it is only a fan experience if I still have some fans left alive at the end of it.’
‘I won’t kill all of them! Just the entitled uber fan bitches. You won’t even miss them.’
‘How many are we talking?’
‘Eight, the first eight in the queue. They are psychos. Convinced they all know you personally. And have tea with you every other Sunday.’
‘I guess eight might be acceptable losses.’
‘Fuck it, I am buying vodka!’
‘Go on, get a little drunk, you deserve it.’
‘Damn straight I do, listening to this total shit. I suddenly remember why I do not stand at gigs, nor do I socialise with most of the fans. I just get a seat up in the gods and turn up just as doors open. No queuing and no being tainted by morons. I would dearly love them to find out I actually do know you and that we fucked! Their heads would explode.’
“Sound check please, people,” Brad shouted.
I nodded. “We need to get this show on the road before Lily needs bail money.”
The rest of the night was a blur, losing myself to the soundcheck and then stuffing noodles and Chinese from a carton into my mouth backstage followed by a couple of shots of whisky. Thinking about when the doors would go green and Lily would finally be able to get in the warmth. I hoped she was wearing plenty of layers so she wouldn’t get sick.
It felt good, right, that my wife-to-be was out there waiting for me. If only I was brave enough to show her the ring that I fetched before we left Dublin, that had been sat in my jacket pocket ever
