I curled up on my bed, and clutched my blankets to my chin, and I felt lifeless. I hadn't felt a wave of depression hit me like this since the moths after my accident. When I was staring at pills and ropes like they were the answer.
They weren't then, and they weren't now. Julie had proven that to me.
It seemed like hours before my bedroom door finally opened, and Ava poked her head in. I didn't have to turn to know it was her. Your sister sneaking into your room was something all little brothers knew.
“Falon?”
“Yeah?”
“Are you going to get up today? It's already noon,” she asked, her voice low and soft.
I guess all sisters could tell when dates hadn't gone so well.
“Last night sucked,” I replied, but didn't turn around. I couldn't bear to see her face. I knew she knew it was my fault. It wasn't rocket science to figure that out.
“I figured. Just hold on, and pray about it. You'll find your answer,” she told me.
I hoped she was right. I really did.
♥
I eventually got out of bed, and slowly, I rejoined the world of the living. It didn't feel the same, and I knew that was because of Julie. Everything in my life, good or bad, was because of Julie nowadays.
Once, I nearly called her. I thought she might answer, just to hear what I had to say. Maybe to tell me that even though she hated my guts, that didn't mean I couldn't go to the hospital.
Or, she could ignore my phone calls, and pretend I never existed.
I hadn't had the guts to go to the hospital. I couldn't. I couldn't do that to Julie, and put her through pain again.
The damage was done. I was alone, and so was she. All ties were cut, and I had to move on.
I made it three days.
Ava was cooking dinner, which was rarely done in our house. I sat at our table and watched her cook spaghetti, and I laughed each time the sauce would pop, and she would jump back on instinct.
She was being nice to me, and I knew it was because she knew I was hurting. She was being my big sister, rather than the mom figure she always tried to be.
When there was a knock at the door, we were both expecting Dr. Marstens. He was suppose to be on his way with bread.
“I've got it,” I told her, standing up. I went to the door with a smile, expecting to tell the good doctor that he was late, but instead, I got a full view of Liam's face.
He was grinning, leaning against the doorway with his arms crossed. “He lives!” he exclaimed, as if he were staring at Frankenstein's monster. “Are you going to let me in?” he asked.
“Are you going to hurt me?” I asked, and it was a perfectly logical question.
Liam laughed and pushed me aside to come in by himself. “Not here for a fight, Falon. Cooking dinner for me, Ava?” he called to the kitchen.
Ava came around the corner with her spoon and glared at Liam. “You're here?” she asked, but we all knew she was only playing mad. She liked Liam just like the next person.
“Actually, I was wondering if I could steal the moron,” he said, motioning toward me. I would have called him something, but he wouldn't have heard me.
Ava smiled and pressed her hands together in a praying gesture. “Please do. I'm tired of seeing him mope around here for one lifetime,” she replied.
“I have not been moping!” I protested.
“Yes, you have. Go on and hang out with Liam. There will be plenty of food when you get back,” she said, and disappeared into the kitchen as I glared at her.
Liam turned around. “Moping?” he asked with a grin.
“I have not been moping,” I told him.
Liam smiled and shrugged as he headed toward the door. “Sure you haven't. You just look like a big old bundle of joy,” he replied.
Once again, a comeback wouldn’t be heard.
I followed him, though I knew I didn't have to. It would probably be better if I didn't. I knew there was a good chance that Liam would lay into me about Julie and me.
He got into the car, and I followed. I buckled up as Liam got out of our driveway and sped away. I was literally holding to my door handle. Liam preferred speed.
I tapped him on the arm. When he looked at me, I asked, “Where are we going?”
“Don't worry, I'm not taking you to Julie so she can kill you,” he told me, flashing his signature grin. “Hilary is out of the hospital, and since you decided not to talk to me, I figured I'd kidnap you. I wanted you to meet her,” he replied.
I raised a brow, but didn't say anything. I didn't understand how he could still want to be around me. I knew Julie had told him about everything that had happened. Liam had said before that he and Julie didn't keep secrets form each other.
If Dr. Marstens had treated my sister the way I had done to Julie, I wouldn't have picked him up to meet my new girlfriend. Then again, Liam was my polar opposite.
“You don't mind going to her house, right?” he asked me, glancing my way.
“I don't mind.”
He nodded, and five minutes later, we were pulling into a modest home. Middle class, nicer condition than mine and Ava's. Nothing like Liam and Julie's.
Maybe they liked the under-privileged kids.
That wasn't true though. I had been there when Liam had fallen in love. All we had known about
