I looked like a fool, I knew that. Snapping my fingers as I came toward her singing, “I wanna know my future with a girl named Julie.”
I saw Liam leaning against his car, smiling at my stupid attempt to get back in Julie's graces by singing one of the weirdest songs with her name in it.
None of that mattered as I sang the lyrics I had memorized in the endeavor, and got down on my knees in front of Julie, holding her hand. She smiled at me, and then laughed as I sang, “Julie, Julie, Julie, oh girl.”
When the song ended, I looked up at her. “Forgive me?” I asked.
Julie didn't answer. It was always nicer when she just kissed me instead.
♥
Liam left us after we started kissing, and that was fine by both of us. It was always better not to have anyone peeking in. Kisses were sweeter that way.
The mix tape played itself over again as we laid in the bed of my truck. I made her put my jacket on because she looked cold, and she didn't object. If anything, she looked pleased to have gotten into my jacket, and then, into my arms.
We stared up at the stars, and I cursed myself about not bringing a blanket. Julie didn't seem to mind. She looked more comfortable just laying there with me, hugging against my body, and pointing out constellations that I wasn't sure were real. After she tried to tell me that one was a half dog/half cat, I squeezed her tightly.
“You’re just fooling around now,” I told her, and she laughed.
“No, I'm not. There really is a Catdog constellation,” she said.
I laughed, and softened my hold. I refused to let her go. I was going to hold onto her for as long as I could, before we were finally forced to go home.
“There isn't a Catdog constellation.”
“There's a TV show.”
“I know that!” I pointed out. “Doesn't mean they're in the stars.”
She shrugged. “The Rugrats are up there too. See? There's Tommy and Chucky, and look, there's Angelica and Cynthia-”
“You're such a liar,” I told her, and started tickling her. Julie laughed as she struggled against me.
“Stop it, jerk!” she yelled, and I did. She bit her lip as I challenged her.
“Jerk? Did you call me a jerk?”
“Don't do it, Falon. If you tickle me one more time-”
I never heard her threat. She was too busy laughing.
♥
“The first time was when I was twelve,” Julie told me, her fingers laced with mine. They moved up and down across my knuckles, then drawing lazy little circles around them. “I was put on the donor list after that, in search of a bone marrow, but no matches. After I started taking chemo and radiation, mom and dad decided to pull me out of school.”
“Too sick?”
“That, and people started picking on me,” she replied.
“On you? When you had cancer?” I asked. The idea sent shock waves through me, and I wanted to beat up these little twelve year old kids that hurt my Julie.
She nodded. “My hair had fallen out. To a bunch of middle school girls, that's not attractive, so my disease made me a disease, and no one wanted to be around me. It was like they thought they'd catch it if they were around me too long,” she replied.
I knew her pain. I thought back to when I had told her about my experience, when she hadn’t told me about hers, but I knew she understood, because I felt it.
“Kids are dicks,” I told her.
Julie laughed and squeezed me tighter. “Always the poet. You have such a way with words,” she told me.
I smiled, resting my head against hers. “What can I say? You bring it out of me,” I reminded her.
I knew she was smiling. I knew it by the way her face felt against my chest. How warm she felt against me. I just knew her smiles, and when they were there, and when they weren't.
“So, you got pulled out of school. . .”
“Yeah, and I started with mom trying to teach me, and then went to doing it myself. Mom didn't like me being at the house by myself though, on those days I didn't have a doctor's appointment or anything else, so I started going to the hospital with her.
“That was when I started going into the playroom. I was the oldest in there, so the kids at the time immediately looked up to me, and when my cancer went into remission, I just started going everyday.”
Julie turned over, to lay on her back, but her head was still on my arm. I could see her face better that way, and I stared at the way the moonlight casted a silver lining along her profile.
“I met Liam when him and some of his friends were vandalizing all of the toys and such. Liam didn't hear me-”
“He told me. He said his jerk friends couldn't tell him that you were coming, and when you did, you talked him down. He said he could have gotten away, but after that, he was with you everywhere,” I told her.
Julie laughed, and it looked wonderful across her face. “Could have gotten away? Sure. I would have beat him to a pulp,” she told me, smacking her fist into her other hand.
I laughed.
“What, you don't believe me?” she challenged.
“No, I'm laughing because I do. Remember the arcade?”
She blushed slightly, and I was merely glad for the color. She had looked so pale the last few hours, color was welcomed and appreciated.
“He called you a freak.”
“Didn't mean you had to go all superwoman and punch the guy.”
“That wasn't superwoman. That was Buffy,” she replied, shrugging slightly.
I laughed
