She shook her head, propping herself up on her elbows. “No, it's just true. Superwoman is used. Buffy is a lot stronger, and she punches big guys when they mess with people she loves,” she told me.
The smile was evident, and she knew why. “Did you love me then?” I asked, but I already knew the answer.
“Did you love me then?” she asked me, touching my nose.
I nodded, without thinking at all. It was as much the truth as anything in my soul. “I think I started loving you when you fell on the floor and started laughing,” I told her.
Julie smiled, and tilted her head. “Are you sure about that?”
I nodded. “Yeah, I am. I just have a weird way of showing it,” I replied, and Julie rolled her eyes with a small laugh.
“I know that's the truth,” she replied.
“Don't make me tickle you again.”
She looked like she might challenge me, and then she smiled and laid back down. “Okay. Anyway, mom and dad adopted Liam, I started dating Thad, and then when I was almost sixteen, it came back. Thad died while I was finishing up my chemo, and it was on his birthday that the doctor said it went back into remission,” she said.
I ran my hands over her hair, which I realized was cut short because it hadn't been long since it had started growing back. I liked her hair, and it didn't matter.
“And then, one day, I saw this boy in the hall, and he was wearing a Roll Tide tee, and frowning as if the world was out to eat him, and everything around him was black. And I thought, I could love that boy,” she said, staring at me with those light green eyes of hers. She smiled softly. “And as I was realizing this, I tripped and fell, and the jerk just kept walking, even after all my attempts to get him to stop. So, I had to play stalker/matchmaker and find him, pretend to be a nurse, agree to be his teacher, punch a guy in the face, kiss him and yell at him, push him and terrorize him until he finally opened those lovely blue eyes of his and fell in love with me, or at least admitted it,” she said, biting her lip.
“That was a lot of work,” I told her.
“Well, you're worth it.”
I pulled her toward me, and kissed her, not because of her declaration of love, but because she needed to be kissed, and I needed to kiss her. I kissed her because she was Julie, and she was here. Because not kissing her seemed like torture.
“Knowing everything I know now, I wouldn't have changed a thing,” I told her when I pulled back. “I wouldn't trade a day with you for anything in this world,” I told her.
“Even though this could be it? Three strikes, you're out?” she asked.
I shook my head. “Even if this is it, and I don't have you for much longer, I'd rather have this, the pain, the loss, than not have you at all. I'd rather fight by your side, and love you and not end up growing old with you, than leave you and know I didn't even try. You are my forever, Julie. I wouldn't give that up for anything,” I told her.
She wiped under her eyes and then choked a laugh. “How long did it take you to think that one up, Shakespeare?” she asked.
I took her hand, and I placed it against the center of my chest. I smiled. “Came straight from there. That little place that you live in,” I told her.
She clutched my shirt. “Your heart? Because I think that's-”
“No,” I said impatiently. “My soul, Julie. I think it's somewhere around there,” I said as she started to laugh softly.
“So, I'm part of your soul?”
I nodded.
Julie smiled, and in that, I saw that forever I was talking about. I saw my forever with her, whether on this earth, or someplace better. Somewhere that there was no pain or loss, just love.
♥
I took Julie home not too long afterward, but her parents weren't angry that it was close to midnight. I guess, when your kid might be close to dying, the curfew rules stretch a little.
As I was leaving, Mr. Michaels stopped me, and he wrapped me in a tight hug. I let him, knowing why he was. When he pulled away, he looked like he might cry, but was refusing to.
“Thank you, for coming back,” he told me.
I felt myself close to a breakdown, and forced it away as I gave him a smile. “I told you, sir. I couldn't leave your daughter,” I replied. I said it because it was true, and he knew that.
♥
Sisters don't give you much problems when your girlfriend, whom she loves almost as much as you do (almost), is sick. The only question she asks is if you are dating again.
When you tell her you never really stopped, she smiles and brings you the tray of brownies she fixed because she was nervous. Chocolate is good for broken-hearts, and mushy love sickness.
♥
That night, when it was time to close my eyes and go to sleep, I knew I wouldn't have a problem. I knew what was to come, and I knew the risks. All of it was overshadowed by the reward.
I closed my eyes, and I thanked the Lord. I felt Him then. Those days when I felt alone, were gone. I felt Him, and He was there, holding my hand through this period.
Just like He was holding hers.
♥
I couldn't go into any of Julie's appointments at first, but I always went there, waiting in the waiting
