I drove behind them, until they got home, and then continued on to my house. Julie texted me that she was going to bed, which I knew was code for she wanted time alone.
She knew I was right. That was why she was mad. The chances of us being a match were slim to none, but miracles happened all the time. We could have a chance, and she was unwilling to risk it.
The complications after surgery weren't a big deal. I knew all of the risks were minimal. I would be willing to risk everything for a possibility that I could save her.
I drove home, and went inside. Ava was on the couch, watching a movie with Jesse. I only call him that because the guy isn't leaving. I think he's one of the good guys.
He did help get my truck.
“What's wrong?” Ava asked immediately, and they muted the movie. I hadn't realized that beneath my eyes felt wet, and hot.
I ran my hand beneath them, and sure enough, there were tears. Clear, hot water on my burnt hand, standing there without movement. Still waters, against burnt flesh.
“Julie,” I said.
Ava stood, her hands going to her mouth. Jesse stood behind her, placing his hands against her shoulders to steady her. I wished someone was there to steady me.
“What did they say?” she asked.
The world started spinning, and I knew if I didn't sit down, I might pass out. I walked to the chair, sitting down and holding my head in my hands so I didn't have to see their concerned faces.
And then I told them. I told them about chemo not doing any good, and her only chance being a bone marrow transplant. I told them how I wanted to get tested, and Julie put her foot down.
Ava looked somewhere between horrified and confused. She squeezed Jesse's hand for support. “If she doesn't find a donor-” she stopped herself, and I saw her trying to hold back the onslaught of tears that threatened to slide down her face.
“I'll lose her,” I finished for her, running my hands over my head. The thought made me angry, and depressed, and I wanted to hit something all over again.
Jesse held my sister, and he looked at me with those parent-like eyes. There was something strange in seeing him that way, but he had somehow taken the role in stride, and it didn't seem weird anymore.
“Even if you do get tested, there is a very small chance that you could be a close match. The odds are crazy,” he said.
I laughed bitterly and stood. “You think I don't know that? That's not the point. There's a chance. That's all I need, just a chance, and Julie refuses to even entertain the idea,” I told him.
He nodded, and looked at me sympathetically. “I know. She was too young to tell her parents 'no' when she was first diagnosed. I was the one that tested them, and they were so upset when neither of them were a match,” he told me.
Biological was always at a greater chance to match. I guess that was one of those things you just knew.
“Even Liam got tested, but he wasn't a match. Most people just refuse to pay to get tested unless a family member is in need of a donor. Julie's match could be anywhere out there,” he replied.
From a doctor's point of view, I'm sure that gave him hope.
From my point of view, knowing that in every other aspect of life, Julie was my perfect match.
Why not bone marrow too?
♥
“Can I speak to Falon?” I heard her voice say, and I got from my bed. I went to my door to see Mrs. Michaels standing at our front door. She looked distraught, despite being in her hospital scrubs, and both Ava and I seemed to arrive at the same conclusion.
“Did something happen to Julie?” I asked, coming out of my room.
Mrs. Michaels saw me, and she shook her head. “No, not that. Hilary and Liam were with her when I left,” she replied.
“Then what's going on?” Ava asked. I came to her side, as she moved to allow Julie's mom to come inside our house. She looked older, and scared, but I saw something else too.
Determination.
“Did Falon tell you about what the doctor said?” she asked, and Ava nodded.
“Yes, and I'm so sorry. If there's anyway I can help-”
“Actually, that's what I wanted to talk to Falon about,” she replied, and looked to me.
For a moment, I expected that she might pull the 'parent hate boyfriend' routine, but there was a different expression on her aged face. She looked almost. . . helpless.
“Were you serious today? About donating?” she asked.
I held no hesitation as I nodded. “Yes ma'am. I'd do it in a minute,” I told her, and she nodded.
“What about now that Julie said no?”
“Doesn't change anything.”
She looked relieved. “So, if George and I pay for it-”
“I'll do it.”
Ava watched from the sidelines, and she suddenly gave me a weary look. “Are you sure about this, Falon? Isn't it risky?” she asked.
Mrs. Michaels looked like she might speak for me, but I looked to Ava and shook my head. “Not too bad. And it doesn't matter anyway. You would do it for me,” I told her.
She knew I was right about that one.
“Besides, it's just a test,” Mrs. Michaels replied. “He's most likely not a match since he's not family.”
But. . .
That was all that mattered. That one, singular injunction.
But.
I could be.
♥
I told Julie nothing of this. She would have killed me. The next morning, early, I went to the
