“Yeah, right,” Jonathon snorted.
“Knock it off, Jonathon. Just give me the books.”
“Get them yourself,” he said and threw the book in his hand across the room. It landed on the bed next to some thick binders with the same red cover.
I wanted to tell him to screw himself, he could keep his books, but those books were my passport out of his house. I knew Uhmma would not let me leave without them. I walked quickly to his bed. Jonathon stepped away from his desk and closed the door. I clenched my jaw and gathered the book and binders to my chest.
Jonathon stood in the middle of the room. “So, Mina, president of the honor society now?”
I stared over his shoulder at the door.
Jonathon stepped closer. “And still going to Harvard?” He laughed.
I could feel the back of my throat beginning to close.
Jonathon took another step. He leaned forward, his chest pressing against my wrist. “Come on, Mina,” he whispered. “I was only joking. You know that. Right? I’ve missed you. How come you haven’t been returning my calls?” Jonathon circled his arms around me.
I pried his hands from my waist and walked quickly to the door.
Jonathon followed me. “Hey, Mina. Stop.” He reached out and held the door closed. “Just wait a minute, will you.”
I closed my eyes. “I have to go, Jonathon.”
Jonathon pulled back his hand. “Fine. You can leave if you want to. I just wanted to talk about what you’re going to tell your mother when she finds out you’ve been lying,” he said.
I held my breath, my hand quivering to reach for the doorknob.
Jonathon continued, “Because my mom knows that my friend Parker Lee is the next president of the honor society. And an ex-president would know these things, right? So how are you going to explain that to your mom after my mom tells her the truth?”
He had me. I wanted to punch the door, but instead, I turned around. My jaw was clenched so tight, my teeth hurt. I hated myself for doing it, but I finally forced myself to ask.
“What do you think?”
Jonathon sat down on the bed, his smile as wide as the headboard. “Well, we could tell her that Parker needed some help and that he asked you to co-head the honor society.”
I nodded stiffly.
“What about your mom?” I asked.
Jonathon waved away my concern. “Don’t worry, I already told my mom that you were co-head after your mom called my mom last week to brag.”
Relief at avoiding the close call made me grateful and guilty for being such a jerk earlier. “Thanks,” I whispered.
Jonathon pointed at me. “You know, Mina, you should really be more careful about what you make up. I mean, pretending that I was tutoring you while I figured out a way to forge your report card was one thing, but to say that you’re president of the honor society . . . you should tell me these things beforehand so we can coordinate our stories.”
I clutched the prep books closer and nodded again.
Jonathon continued, “And you have to get your mom to stop saying you’re going to Harvard. It’s making my mom all jealous and suspicious. She asked me, if your grades were so high, why you didn’t get any awards at that awards night celebration last June.”
The blood pounded against the sides of my face. If anyone could threaten the elaborate scaffolding of all my lies, it was Jonathon. The last person I wanted to trust.
“What did you say?” I asked.
Jonathon shrugged. “I just told her that the awards thing was mostly for seniors. That you would be getting plenty the next year.”
I exhaled slowly. How long could I keep this up? How much longer before all my lies about my grades, about going to Harvard, crumbled around me?
Jonathon stood up and moved next to me, lightly touching my hair. “So how come you’re not talking to me? Why are you acting like we didn’t have something together?” Jonathon asked. “I thought things were good.”
I tried not to flinch at his touch. Did he really believe that? Just thinking about what had happened that last night we were together made me want to peel the skin off my body.
I whispered, “Jonathon, you’re going to college. Please. Just let it go.”
The sweaty palm of his hand came to rest on the back of my neck. He spoke into my hair. “Is that why you’ve been avoiding me? I thought maybe you had gotten tired of using me.”
I froze.
“That is what you were doing, right?” Jonathon lowered his voice even further.
I dug my fingernails into the skin of my upper arms, crushed the prep books into my chest until the edge of the binder cut into my skin. I welcomed every bit of the pain. Anything to keep from feeling the disgust at myself.
Jonathon grabbed my elbow and forced it up.
I gasped.
“What is this?” he asked, pointing to the deep red marks. “Do I disgust you that much? You have to force yourself to let me touch you?”
I wrenched my arm out of his grasp and stepped away from him.
Jonathon glared at me. “You’re just one big lie, aren’t you, Mina?”
He strode across the room to his desk. “You know, Mina, there are plenty of girls who want to be with me. You think I wanted to waste my time with you?”
I didn’t answer.
He picked up his cell phone and held it out to me. “Dial any one of the numbers in my address book. Those girls will tell you that I’m a great guy.”
I looked away.
“Who do you think you are?” he spat angrily. “Stuck-up, stupid bitch. You think you can just use me and have me disappear like some lovesick puppy?”
“It wasn’t like that,” I whispered.
“Then what was it like? Why were you messing with
