“Did you get with Nance last night? You seem fresh considering you haven’t been home yet.” His face twisted when I mentioned her name and he shrugged.
“Kinda. Bit of dry humping and kissing. No biggie. I had to leave to do that drop that you were supposed to do.” Shit. The drop. I glanced up at him and he rubbed my arm. “Don’t worry. I’ve sorted it,” I nodded and could feel his eyes burning into me. “What’s wrong?” I shook my head and threw some gloves his way.
“I’m just distracted.” I watched him smirk and dug his side. “No before you ask. Not a woman thing.” He burst out laughing.
“Dude you think I’m gonna believe that?” I frowned and called him closer with my hand. I needed to get some of my frustration out one way or another and he seemed like the best way.
Haz- Friday
A few days passed and I didn’t hear anything from Avaya. I was busy training and settling into my new role at the law firm. Kinda ironic that we were board members of a law firm. I chuckled to myself as I glanced down at my phone and headed towards my en-suite. I peeled my shirt off and glanced at myself in the mirror, the track marks that pierced my skin were more noticeable than usual and they hurt. I rubbed them and sighed. I heard a patter of feet and looked behind me where Chloe was standing.
“Do you mind?” I gestured towards the shower and watched as she shook her head.
“No not really, carry on.” I watched her as she sprayed her perfume and began to place her face of makeup on. I rolled my eyes and slipped into the shower. This was the longest I hadn’t been laid and she was seeming more and more appealing. I washed quickly and examined her. She gave me a look that I was familiar with. I turned off the water and stepped out wrapping a towel around my lower half. She raised her brow.
“Don’t look at me like that. You’re high.” She continued to put her makeup on and I watched her. I ran my hands over the skin on her back and turned her to face me. She looked down at my mouth and cleared her throat. I went to kiss her and frowned as my lips touched her cheek.
“Don’t.” She pushed my chest softly in the middle. “We can’t. I’m seeing somebody.” I couldn’t help but smirk.
“That’s never stopped you before?” She frowned at me and her eyes were dark as she pushed me harder.
“I said no. This between us was over months ago.” She was right. I was high. I didn’t want her. I wanted Avaya. I growled as I moved from her. “Look I know you’ve been really struggling this week,” I watched her gulp “what happened?” Her eyes looked full of pity and I shook my head. “If Jay found out we were still you know,” her eyes dropped to below my towel before she met my gaze again “you wouldn’t have a dick left and I wouldn’t do it to Av,” she stopped suddenly and turned back to face the mirror.
“Wouldn’t do what to who?” I tilted my head and watched her in my mirror. She flushed red and I grabbed my aftershave from next to her.
“Fuck sake Haz just get ready everyone is nearly done they’re waiting for you.” She leaves quickly and she’s flustered. I smirked to myself. Avaya likes me. My chest constricted and I took a deep look at myself in the mirror. Get a grip.
Monday
Maybe I got the wrong vibe from her, maybe she didn't really give a shit and she was just like everyone else. Images of him laying over Holly sent me into shock, blood was leaving her mouth and she wasn't breathing. I hobbled towards her and held her, I was smelling her hair and trying desperately to make her breathe again. I'm woken by Jay who is holding my arm.
“Hey, lad what's up?” I searched for his face as I was blinded by my nightmare. This was becoming more and more often.
“Nothing, I'm good.” My chest was telling another story, I could hear it beating in my ears and I sat up.
“It's okay it happens mate you're trying to go cold turkey?” Fury threatened to ignite and I pushed him off.
“This is the reason I'm on the fucking stuff! I don't get this when I'm high.” His big brown eyes looked sad. He knew how hard this was. But I was trying. I was so desperate to get clean this time. He just didn’t understand why. He got it because he’d done it. He’d been an addict and he was clean now. I envied him for having that will power. I jumped from the bed and jogged down the stairs. Food. Food will help. I nodded at my thoughts. I felt a familiar small hand run up my back.
“You’re alright Haz.” She whispered as she patted my back. I tensed under her grasp. Chloe’s sweet voice was tinged with sadness and I scoffed.
“Am I Chlo?” Her eyes searched for mine, they were wide and I looked away.
“Just keep going,” she took a deep breath in “I’m really proud of you.” She looked back towards the pancakes on the kitchen table before she left me alone again. Fuck this is too much. I growled out loud and hit the island. I can’t do this.
Chapter Three
Holt - Monday
The past few weeks of uni were a nightmare. I glanced down at my phone to see if I had a text or even a missed call off Haz but I had nothing. I didn’t see him the weekend after we went to that cabin. I hadn’t heard from him since. It had been 2 weeks. I frowned to myself and I looked at Nancy who
