Would things really last between the three of them? Would Valen disappoint everyone by being a terrible dad?
He didn’t know. For now, he was content for things to stay this way.
27
Sam
The nightmare began with blood.
It streaked over his palms, dripped down his fingers. Sam was in a white-tiled bathroom in his sleeping clothes, and blood had smeared over his belly and thighs, puddles of red that had followed him in through the doorway.
Why is there so much blood?
Around his legs, his shorts were bloodstained. His shirt, too.
Sam turned. From the corner of his eye, the water in the toilet was dark. Opaque, crimson, like there was blood in there, too.
And then his throat closed. He knew what else there was in the toilet. He couldn’t bring himself to look.
His belly was flat now, and the baby was gone, slid out, dead.
That was Valen’s baby. Harris’. Sam had failed them again. They would realize he was no good as an omega, they would abandon him.
He shuddered, gasping. It couldn’t be real. It had to be a dream.
When he opened his eyes, there was blood on the sheets. Sam squeezed his eyes shut, his pulse thudding in his throat.
Opened his eyes again. The blood was still there, but it was all over the walls, now.
Closed his eyes. Tried to sleep. It was all a dream.
When he opened his eyes, Valen was covered in blood, and Sam screamed.
“Sam!”
Someone gripped his arms and shook him. “Sam, wake up!”
He jolted awake, gasping, needing to touch his belly. No blood. The bump was there. Is this still a dream?
He lay in bed, panting, staring at the ceiling. No blood there, either.
Maybe it was a different version of his dream.
“Gods, you were thrashing,” Valen murmured to his side. On his other side, Harris was frowning, his hand on Sam’s belly.
“We’re here,” Harris murmured, leaning in to kiss Sam’s cheek. His lips felt wet. “You’re awake now. The baby’s fine.”
Maybe the dream would loop, and there would be blood again. Sam shook his head. Couldn’t say a word, his voice was stuck.
Valen pulled him close, his body warm. “Shh.”
But Valen didn’t understand. Sam had almost lost his baby. Maybe he already did.
“It’s fine,” Harris said. “You were dreaming.”
“Maybe I still am,” Sam rasped.
“Oh, gods, Sam.” Valen plastered himself against Sam, kissing up his cheeks. “You’re not dreaming now.”
“I—I tried to wake up,” Sam said. His cheeks were itchy, wet. He’d been crying in his sleep. “I lost my baby.”
“It’s here,” Harris said, running his hand down Sam’s belly. “See? You’re fine.”
Sam looked harder. Then spread his legs, pulled them up, making sure there wasn’t blood on his thighs.
His skin was clean. He squirmed around, looking at the mattress. No blood. “It’s not a dream?”
“Not a dream,” Harris said. “You’ve woken up.”
Seemed unreal, when he’d already tried waking up so many times. “I don’t believe it.”
Valen exchanged a look with Harris, but Sam was too busy feeling up his thighs, making sure what he felt was sweat. Nothing else.
“If you smack me, you’ll feel it in your hand,” Valen said. “Try it. You’ll know I’m real.”
Sam couldn’t bear to hit him. He pressed his palm to Valen’s chest, felt the thumping of his heart.
“Yeah?” Valen asked, gentle.
“I guess.” Sam squirmed. Maybe this seemed a little more real now. The baby was fine. He didn’t have to worry. Valen and Harris were here. “Did I... say anything?”
“You were saying ‘It’s gone, my baby’s gone,’ in your sleep,” Harris said quietly. The corners of his lips pulled down.
“I didn’t know how to wake you.” Valen grimaced. “You were having a terrible time. I’m so sorry, Sam.”
Valen threw his leg over Sam’s hips, and Harris curled his leg around Sam’s calf, rubbing his warm palm over Sam’s belly. They were sturdy, and they hugged him close. Valen bit lightly on Sam’s shoulder, the points of his teeth anchoring Sam.
Sam breathed out, tipping his head back into the pillows. “I still have my baby.”
“Uh huh.”
“It felt so real.”
Harris sighed, wrapping his hand around Sam’s fingers. He kissed Sam on the cheek, then his temples, and Valen followed suit. Valen rubbed his wrist over Sam’s belly. “It wasn’t real,” Valen said. “Smell my mark? That’s our baby in there. Both of you are safe.”
“It might help if you talk about the dream,” Harris said.
Sam groaned. He might as well say it—maybe that’d stop the dream from coming back. “I was in the mansion, just walking around. Then I felt something wet on my leg and looked down. It was blood.”
Harris sucked in a breath, pressing his lips to Sam’s jaw.
“So I went to the bathroom,” Sam said. “I was leaving puddles of blood everywhere. And—and I sat on the toilet and lost the baby.”
Harris closed his eyes, slipping his arm around Sam’s waist. “I’m sorry you dreamed that.”
The baby had looked fine in the ultrasound last month—the doctor had said it was healthy. But Sam had been worried, had wondered if he’d accidentally trip, or if something would go wrong and he would get hurt.
“I’ll make sure everything’s okay,” Valen murmured, kissing Sam’s shoulder, then his chest. “It’ll be all right.”
Looking up at his two concerned alphas, Sam realized that he was in a better place now. That he really was awake. Harris and Valen were both holding him, their eyes worried, their lips pressing kisses to his skin. Sunlight streamed into the room above them, and it was safe here.
“I don’t... deserve this,” Sam said, his throat tight. He hadn’t even given birth to a healthy baby yet. “What if—”
Valen kissed him hard on the lips, sliding into his mouth. He smelled like morning breath and sandalwood, like alpha. No one smelled like morning breath in dreams.
Sam wanted to fall into Valen, and forget that there were things to worry about. He’d
