It’s a ring.
Felix stares. Why would Kade’s surprise be a ring? Because rings mean promises and marriage, and Kade...
Kade wants to marry me.
Kade’s eyes are hopeful, expectant. Felix’s breath punches out of his lungs.
“Why?” he gasps, a sickening dread coiling in the pit of his stomach. Kade can’t do this. Felix has damned his family to debt, and he doesn’t deserve to be married to Kade at all. He’s still the failure his father says he is.
Kade frowns, his eyes darkening. “No?”
No, no, no. “I can’t,” Felix says, shoving him away, guilt exploding from that sealed-up well in his chest. Kade will hate me. If he makes this promise to me, he’ll regret it.
Kade flinches like Felix has just stabbed him in the gut. “Why not?”
Felix inches away from him, pressing his back to the counter. “Because it’s not right. I’ve been using you.”
“You’re my omega,” Kade says, turning his wrist to expose his bonding scar. Felix cringes. Fifteen years ago, when they created that bond, he didn’t know he’d help his father destroy Kade’s family. If he could return and change everything... he would.
“I shouldn’t be yours.” It hurts to say it. He needs to leave. Free Kade so Kade can find someone else better for him.
“Why?”
“Because this was a mistake!” Felix backs away from him, bumping into the fridge. “We’ve been happy together, and I appreciate that. But it really can’t go on.”
Kade scowls, stepping forward, the ring glinting in his hand. “What happened at your dad’s place? You’ve never been unhappy with me before.”
It strikes Felix, sharp as a palette knife, that Kade won’t stop pursuing this relationship. Until he can see something wrong with them, Kade will hang on to him, because he knows nothing else. They’ve never known anyone aside from each other; Felix regrets that Kade has wasted so much of his life with him.
“I never meant it to last forever,” Felix says, his voice wavering. At any instant, Kade will see through him. He’ll find out about the evictions, and he’ll hate Felix even more. I need to leave. “We’re not right.”
“I love you,” Kade blurts. “I always will.”
Felix’s heart cracks. There’s nothing but honesty in his alpha’s eyes, and he wants to cry. You can’t love me. You shouldn’t. What comes out instead is, “You aren’t good enough for me. I’ve been using you.” Felix doesn’t dare look up from the tiled floor of the kitchen. “I talked to my father. He said you aren’t fit to be my alpha. He said you can’t provide enough. That you won’t ever rank good enough. And I—I agree.”
If there’s one thing Felix knows, it’s this. Despite Felix’s attempts at hiding his family’s wealth, Kade compares himself to what he can see of the mansion, and Felix’s father. He thinks that’s what Felix would want. And Felix manipulates it now like a monster.
Kade stares, his expression lost. “Really?”
For all the times Kade has read through his lies, he can’t now. Felix nods, sinking his teeth into his lip. “Yeah.”
Kade looks down at the ring. Felix desperately wants to step in and hug him, soothe away his pain. But he can’t. He needs to flee, needs to make sure Kade finds a better omega.
“If—If I try harder, will you stay?” Kade asks, stepping forward. He raises the ring, rubbing his finger over it, and he’s vulnerable now, like a teapot perched on the edge of a table.
“No,” Felix chokes. “You can’t change this. You won’t ever be enough.”
Kade raises the ring anyway. Felix smacks it out of his hand. It bounces against the floor, skidding into a corner with paint peeling off the walls.
Neither of them speaks.
Felix spins on his heels, not breathing, not thinking, not hearing Kade shatter behind him, not hearing anything except the pounding guilt in his head. He doesn’t want to. He needs to get out of the house, needs to get away so Kade can rebuild and move on. Kade needs to find someone better, needs to have a better life. He’s out on the street, their house behind him.
Kade doesn’t follow.
47
Felix Present day
Felix can’t move. The ring sits heavily on his finger, glaring up at him.
Kade has been wearing the chain for months. Years. Felix had no idea the ring was attached to it, had no idea Kade had attached himself to their past for so long.
He twists the ring off his finger, disgusted at himself. How could Kade still want him, when he’d told Kade he wasn’t good enough? When he had abandoned his alpha, left him ashamed, lied to him...
Felix’s cheeks prickle; he wipes the tears off. He doesn’t belong in Kade’s bedroom, or even in this house. He should have left Meadowfall when Kade found out about the child.
He looks down at his belly, nauseous. He has no right to touch the ring. So he shoves it beneath the mattress, then shoves the chain along with it, too, except the chain slithers back onto the floor, betraying him.
He stumbles into the kitchen, out the back door, and sucks in a deep breath, trying to calm himself.
Do you know how upset he was? Kade’s mom had said. When you said it isn’t his?
Felix doesn’t know if he should believe her. He’s hurt Kade so much. But if she’s right... If Kade wants the child, if Kade accepts both Felix and the baby...
Felix shudders, cradling his belly. It would be such a relief if Kade wanted either Felix or the child.
Felix curls into a tight ball on the back porch, burying his face in his knees.
48
Kade
Kade steps out of the shower, blinking when the bathroom walls stare back at him.
Felix was supposed to be here ten minutes ago. He’d promised to bring fresh clothes up, and Kade doesn’t have anything but a bath towel. And a hard-on, too, but Felix isn’t here to touch it.
Kade sighs, reaching for the towel. Two minutes later, he wraps it around his waist, grabbing his sweaty clothes as
