Kade looks at the weathered grain of the floorboards. Can he believe this? That Felix doesn’t really care? He’d thought that, once upon a time, but he’s spent five years thinking he’s not good enough, too. “So you’re saying your dad screwed us over.”
“Those were my drawings. Part of it is my fault. And your dad died when—when he had to work again.” Felix cowers further, but at least he isn’t trying to flee.
“That wasn’t your fault,” Kade says, pulling him closer.
“It is! And he succeeded in bringing so many new people to Meadowfall, Kade. B-Because of me, your parents lost their home, and your dad died, and I don’t want you to hate me.” His words dissolve into a mess of whimpering. Kade swallows hard, running his fingers through Felix’s hair. Felix is just as broken as he is, if not more. How had they ended up like this?
“I don’t hate you,” he says. “I can’t.”
Felix shudders, choking on his sobs. “Y-you should. I’ve kept so many secrets from you. I’m not fit to be your omega.”
Kade’s heart splinters. How can Felix think so little of himself? He may have hidden things from Kade, and he may have hurt Kade in the past. But Kade understands why he’s scared. Why Felix might have thought he caused the bankruptcy. And Kade can overlook the lies, because he understands why Felix told them. He might not be comfortable with his savings and ranking yet, but he’ll get over that.
“Look, it doesn’t matter,” Kade says. “That’s all in the past, okay? I don’t think you’re at fault for any of it. And... if you don’t want that ring, I’ll take it back.”
Felix tenses. “I didn’t... didn’t think you kept the ring.”
Kade leans in, kissing Felix’s hair. “‘Course I did.”
“But...”
“I love you, okay? That’s all.” He feels exposed, admitting that. But Felix hasn’t shaken his head violently, or struggled out of Kade’s arms. So Kade cradles him, breathing in his heady scent.
“You shouldn’t,” Felix says. “I don’t deserve it.”
Kade almost says I’ll love you no matter what, but something in Felix’s tone makes him pause. “You have other secrets?”
Felix stares at the floorboards, shadows in his eyes. “Maybe.”
Kade gulps. What can be worse than the bankruptcy and his dad’s death? Felix already carries someone else’s child, and it’s not like he’s been sleeping with other people lately. They’ve lost most of what they had five years ago. But Kade can’t help the dread creeping down his spine when he asks, “What is it?”
Felix swallows. “The baby.”
“Yeah?” Something’s wrong with it. It’s deformed, or it stopped moving. Or... Kade holds his breath, afraid that something has happened to it, and Felix will break again.
Felix lifts his head, wet streaks covering his cheeks. Kade wipes his tears off. Then he traces Felix’s lips with his thumb, and Felix meets his eyes fleetingly, before glancing away. “It’s yours.”
Kade stares. “What?”
“The baby’s yours,” Felix says, his shoulders sagging like he’s relieved that Kade knows this, and... it’s not sinking into Kade’s mind at all.
“What do you mean, it’s mine?” He pulls away slightly, just enough to look at the bump of Felix’s abdomen. It stretches his shirt, but he can’t see inside. There’s no secret message on it. Nothing to prove Felix right. “You said...”
Felix buries his face in his hands. “I was lying then, too. I’ve been lying so much, Kade.”
His voice breaks. Kade blinks, trying to process it. The baby is his. Really? He’s spent weeks thinking Felix slept with someone else, trying to accept the fact that Felix carries someone else’s child. And... Felix says it’s his. “I don’t.... don’t believe it.”
“It’s fine if you don’t,” Felix says, pulling away, turning so he’s not facing Kade. “I didn’t think you wanted one—we aren’t together or anything right now, and it’s not fair for you to accept a child you don’t want.”
“What the hell?”
Felix looks at his hands, his mouth pulled down at the corners. He looks honest like this. It’s not a joke. The baby is his. Really? But Kade had been convinced it wasn’t his, and Felix had seemed so honest then.
“You were crying at the store,” Kade says, remembering anger and shame and jealousy, all searing through his veins. He’s spent weeks coming to terms with someone else’s child. And that’s fine. Felix can carry it. Kade has made his peace with the baby. “You said it wasn’t mine.”
Felix doesn’t meet his eyes, but Kade reads regret in him all the same. And he wants to help Felix out of his misery. He never wants to see his bondmate in such pain. “There was a reason I left, Kade. I didn’t think I deserved any of this.”
Felix carries his baby. He’s been lying to Kade for months and years, and to try and absorb it all now... His mind whirls. Felix had, in some way, helped cause the bankruptcy. And that’s okay. He didn’t mean to. Kade sighs. “I understand why you left. But it’s not something that’ll make me leave you.”
“You said we shouldn’t have a child.” Felix hunches his shoulders, tears dripping down his chin. “Six years ago. At the kindergarten. Do you remember?”
Yeah, he remembers. But he didn’t think... couldn’t have known it would weigh on Felix for this long. “Damn it. Sorry. I didn’t... I thought you wouldn’t want my baby. I didn’t think you’d stay—I can’t afford all the rich things.”
Felix’s face crumples. “I told you, I don’t care about that. I don’t want our child to grow up thinking money is everything. But I’ve hurt you so much, Kade. And left you. And I’ll understand if you’d rather have another omega. Someone who won’t disappoint you.”
Kade
