Ian’s heart skipped. For a moment, he thought Brad might lean in close, kiss him. He wanted to feel Brad’s warmth again, breathe him in. But what if Brad took the car key away? What if he refused to let Ian leave?
Brad leaned into the car, sliding his hand against Ian’s nape like he’d done countless other times. He would pull Ian close, kiss him on the lips.
Ian’s heart fluttered. But if he relented, if he let Brad touch him again... all his restraint would melt away.
I can’t be selfish.
He shoved Brad out of the car, his heart squeezing tight.
Brad stepped back, and Ian pulled the door shut. Locked himself in so Brad couldn’t touch him, tempt him again.
“Ian!” Brad yelled, pounding on the window.
Ian couldn’t bear to look at him. He had nothing left. Nothing that someone like Brad would want, anyway.
He started the car, backing out of the parking lot. For a moment, he wondered what would happen, if he accidentally ran Harold down with his car. It would probably come back to bite him.
“Ian!” Brad pressed his hands to the driver’s side window, his eyes wide and horrified. “Don’t go!”
Ian shook his head. Glanced at Harold, only to see the satisfied smirk on his face.
Was there anything in Ian’s life that couldn’t go wrong? Was there something Ian could do right?
There was one thing—that was to repair Brad’s future, so Brad could have a chance with someone else better. Brad would find a younger omega, a better dad for Gwen, and no one would need Ian anymore, anyway.
Ian breathed in shakily, stepping on the gas. Then he drove out of the parking lot, out onto the street, and finally let his tears fall.
26
Brad
Brad whirled around on his father, his heart in pieces. “What the fuck did you do?”
“Mind your language,” Harold said, turning away. “I was fixing up your future, you ungrateful brat.”
“What future is that?” Brad’s eyes burned.
Ian had left. Ian had driven out of his life, and if Brad had understood him right, Ian didn’t want Brad back again.
It hurt to wrap his mind around. Brad had spent five months of his life having an omega, and to have Ian step away like that... he couldn’t believe it. This couldn’t be real.
“A future where you don’t blunder around like a fool.” Harold looked askance at Brad, his expression cynical. “Consorting with your professor. Really? Were you that desperate, or were you trying to prove something?”
“Neither,” Brad snapped. “But maybe you don’t understand what love is.”
Harold raised an eyebrow. “Tell me, then. What has love done for you? Has it fed you? Has it brought back the lives you lost?”
Brad remembered the children in the fire again, wishing his father would stop bringing that up. “Shut up, Dad.”
“It seems to me you needed a reminder.” Harold lit a cigarette, glancing at his own car. “Ian McMillan will die before you, and his burdens will become yours to bear.”
Brad flinched, the ache in his chest gaping open again. He didn’t need that reminder. “Shut up. You never loved Mom, did you?”
“I was married to her.”
“Marriage doesn’t mean anything if you don’t love her.”
Harold shrugged. “I’ve done my part in the marriage and the society. I’ve contributed offspring to the world.”
That sounded like the coldest, most terrible way a person could see life. And yet Brad wasn’t surprised, because it was his dad.
He looked at the empty lot Ian’s car had sat in. Could almost feel Ian’s warmth in his palm, could still smell the trace of rose in the air. Minutes ago, Ian had moaned against him, and he had been sweet and pliant in Brad’s arms.
Brad had no idea he should’ve savored that. His heart ached.
Ian would probably leave this world earlier than Brad. If he’d stayed, Brad would probably witness Ian dying, and it would rip Brad to pieces, all over again.
Maybe Dad was right. Maybe Brad should’ve distanced himself from Ian, so he didn’t get hurt again. He’d take Gwen in, and that would be that.
I shouldn’t have started all that with Ian.
It wasn’t as though Brad had been making the best decisions. He’d fucked up, over and over. He’d stripped Ian in public, and his father had seen. Harold had fired Ian, and there was no replacing what Brad had cost him.
Brad breathed out. Harold offered him a cigarette, and Brad took it. Didn’t know what else he had going for him now. He would return to the station, keep going out on calls. Brad almost considered asking Harris to move him back into the higher risk jobs, except he now had a daughter he was fully responsible for.
Brad closed his eyes. What would he say to Gwen? Your dad left us. He’s not coming back. Would Gwen ask to see Ian? She would, wouldn’t she?
He still felt too raw, remembering the way Ian had shoved him off. Do you want Gwen? Ian had asked.
Brad lit the cigarette, sucked in its burning smoke. Didn’t feel much different from smoke inhalation on a scene.
Brad had a daughter to think about, though. Gwen didn’t have Ian to depend on anymore. He dropped the cigarette on the asphalt, stubbing it out with his shoe.
“I expect to see you do better,” Harold said. “Be someone better in the society. You were going nowhere with that omega.”
Brad exhaled. Ian had months to leave a bonding mark. I never marked you back, Ian had said.
Maybe Ian was right. Maybe Brad wasn’t good enough for him.
Brad trudged back to his car, unlocking it. Climbed into the driver’s seat, smelling a faint whiff of rose in the air. He couldn’t help remembering Ian in the passenger seat, Ian’s hand resting on Brad’s thigh.
They’d been good together. And now all Brad had for a reminder was Gwen.
He filled his lungs with the stale air in the car, holding on to the traces of rose. Then, Brad pulled out of the parking lot, his
