Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad there. Ian cracked a smile. “I will. Thanks.”
He stood, his heart aching when he stepped away from Gwen. “I promise I’ll be back,” Ian told her. “Be a good girl for Papa.”
Gwen started to sniffle. Ian almost caved. He crouched, wiping her tears away. Then he kissed her cheeks. “You’re brave, Gwen. With some hard work, I think all your wishes will come true.”
She looked tearfully at him. “Really?”
“Really.” Ian hugged her again. “I’ll see you soon. The next time we meet, I want your heart to be all good again, all right?”
Gwen nodded. Ian straightened, and he forced himself to keep walking to his car, to get in before he decided he never wanted to leave.
This wasn’t his house—it was never meant to be.
Ian waved at Gwen, his throat growing tight when she waved back.
Things would work out. Brad would be a great father for her.
Ian drove off, watching Gwen in his rearview mirror until she disappeared from sight.
28
Brad
The alarm rang, beating upon his eardrums. Brad groaned. He swiped at the alarm clock, then fell back into bed. Thought about snuggling closer to Ian’s warmth.
He reached over beneath the sheets, searching for his omega.
Found nothing but cold mattress.
Brad stirred, disgruntled. Was Ian in the bathroom? He cracked his eyes open, peering into the shadowy room.
The pillow was as fluffed as it had been the night before, and there was no omega in bed. There hadn’t been, not since two weeks ago.
Brad sighed, the ache in his chest throbbing anew. He pressed his face against Ian’s pillow.
Since the day Ian left, most of his rose scent had been fading.
Brad had come home the first day, sniffing for Ian, hurt at the scent that still lingered. But this was worse—when there was no reminder of Ian at all, when Brad couldn’t even tell that Ian had once lived in this house.
He rubbed his face, listening to Gwen’s footsteps in the hallway. He had to get up, take her to school. Didn’t want her to be late.
Brad swung his legs out of bed. Trudged into his bathroom, half-expecting Ian to be there, smiling.
Stop thinking about him.
He couldn’t, though. Despite telling himself this was the right choice, despite telling himself he wasn’t good enough for an omega... Brad wanted him back. He hadn’t gone a day without thinking about Ian, wondering where Ian was now. If Ian was doing okay, if he’d gone back to cutting himself again.
Brad blew out a breath. At least, Ian had taken the cookie tin with him. Maybe he’d use the things in the safe box, maybe he’d start to believe he was a better person.
Somehow, Brad doubted it.
He still remembered Ian curled up on the bathroom floor, blood on his arm. Brad had stopped him then. But he hadn’t fixed Ian, had he? Brad had only delayed the inevitable.
He hadn’t been good enough to help Ian.
Brad sighed, running his hand through his hair. He washed up, wondering when he’d see Ian again. Wondered what excuse he’d tell Gwen today.
When he pulled on some clothes and stepped out of the bedroom, he found Gwen in the kitchen, munching on some cereal.
She looked so much like Ian, with her blond hair and stubby nose, that Brad almost asked, Why’d your dad leave you behind? Because Ian’s scent wasn’t the only evidence he’d been here—Gwen was, too.
And Gwen was Ian’s most precious person. If Ian had left her behind... what did he still have to keep him going?
Brad tried not to think about that. Ian would be back to see Gwen. Brad knew it. And when that day arrived... Brad would meet his omega again. He would just... feast his eyes. He didn’t have to touch Ian. Just had to know how he was doing, whether he was eating okay. And the baby. Ian was twenty-three weeks along now.
If Brad could touch him again... His heart stumbled.
Gods, how was Brad this excited by the thought of seeing Ian? He was so damn desperate.
“Papa,” Gwen said, hopping off her stool. She waved a postcard at him. “We got mail! From Daddy.”
Brad’s heart stopped. “Where?”
He hurried forward, almost snatching the postcard out of her hand. He made himself slow down. Knelt next to her, closing his hand around hers to hold the postcard steady. Couldn’t believe he was seeing Ian’s looping handwriting.
Gwen,
Are you doing all right? I hope you are. I don’t know when I’ll be back, but I’m thinking of you. Remember to stay warm and rest well! I miss you.
Lots of love,
Daddy
Brad read it once, then he read it again. There was no mention of him. Ian had addressed it to Gwen alone, as though Brad didn’t exist.
What about me? Don’t you miss me?
Brad swallowed, bitter. He released Gwen’s hand, standing to make himself some coffee. For the past few months, Brad hadn’t taken out the coffee grinder—there wasn’t much point, when neither Ian nor Gwen could have much caffeine.
Now, Brad pulled out his stale coffee beans, grinding some up. Thought about Ian, the way he’d pressed his face to the coffee bag, sniffing longingly. Brad had rubbed Ian’s belly then, and brought him to a coffee shop just to soak up the aroma.
“When will Daddy be back?” Gwen asked.
“I don’t know,” Brad said, his voice rasping.
“I miss him.”
“Same here.”
“Can we write a postcard back?” Gwen turned the card over in her hands. “Daddy said you’d teach me how.”
Brad’s heart squeezed. “There’s no return address. I don’t know where to send it. Maybe you can text him and ask.”
Ian still had the same phone number. Brad knew, because Gwen had been texting Ian daily. Brad had texted Ian, too, but there had been no reply. Then he’d left a voicemail, and there hadn’t been any response, either.
Brad wanted to ask Gwen to pass along a message, ask why Ian wasn’t answering. But that was too great a burden to give their daughter.
“Did you tell him Papa misses him, too?”
“Uh-uh.” Gwen
