I receded and looked at her for one last time. I deserved her silence; I deserved any punishment she deemed fit. I took a deep breath and scanned the beautiful valley around. The silent waters in the lake below twinkled under the moonlight. It was ironical to have such bitter confrontations in a place like this, because, if it had happened as we initially planned, we would have cherished our time here together.
Perhaps, it was too late;
maybe she doesn't want to know anymore;
maybe she will never forgive me, and
maybe Mark had already made his place in her heart.
I scanned her from head to toe for many lingering minutes, hoping she would atheist look at me. I was praying that she gave me one more chance, but when she didn't, I felt defeated. I should let her go.
This was it, I guess. I sighed and turned around; I will never dare to impose myself on her life again. Today, in the real sense, I realised, she was better off without me. All that I wanted to say had become meaningless now. The damage was done, and sure seemed irreparable. I started to walk away, and that's when I heard her, loud and clear.
"Jake. Wait."
I stopped in my tracks as I turned around. The timid and weeping Emma now looked determined. She started walking towards me, her gaze fixed on my face, and her eyes piercing mine.
She stopped inches away, and before I could think of anything, she slapped me; and she slapped me hard.
The echo of her slap retorted and bounced back from the surrounding mountains, and everyone who witnessed it gasped in shock.
Chapter 50
Her choice
Emma
Joffre Lake
The imprints of my slap, followed by the shock of my action was evident on his face, and everybody else's around.
It was an otherwise surreal evening. The calm of the waters, the darkness of the night, the twinkling of the stars, and the sweet aroma of the decorated parade of flowers; were in complete contrast to the lava of betraying thoughts that burnt every nerve inside me.
The love of my life was finally here, explaining how bravely he decided to protect my honor. Looking at him after all these days overwhelmed every bone and brawn of my body, my heart ached to touch him, but my brain knew better.
I don't know if it's the universal law of love or the self-made rules of my pathetic conscience, but knowing about his sufferings pained me more than my own, and I wished I was there with him, to take it all away.
There was a moment, I even forgot the wrongs I felt, after he told the ordeal he faced alone. I imagined a thousand ways I could have made it better. It hurt, knowing he was all by himself fighting so many turmoil’s at once. I could have helped him through this, only if he allowed me.
I was angry at him, for he decided to take the brunt upon himself, without even giving me a fair chance.
I was angry at him, for making a choice for me, a right nobody will ever be granted, for I am entitled to my own opinion, and nobody takes that away from me.
I was angry at him for making us suffer, when clearly it was a battle with no winner; by the end of it, both of us lost, miserably.
The moment he showed me his back, again, I felt I was stripped off my credence anew. I suddenly felt bare and open, an option for him to walk in and walk out as he willed.
This had to change and change now.
Love any day held the highest rank amongst all the emotions I valued in life, but dignity and pride were a close second too. Determined, I took my steps forward, and before he could even apprehend, channeling everything within, I slapped him.
"How dare you tried to walk away? Again? Who do you think I am?" I growled, my eyes throwing daggers at him, as my spirit stood bitter and sharp.
"Emma...No baby... I.... I just didn't want to pester you..." He stuttered.
"How could you Jake? You could have told me all this, and I would have understood. I would have waited. I would have eagerly waited all my life for you... But..." I let out a sigh, and shut my eyes, in an attempt to control my quivering lips, holding my strength together, I somehow managed to continue, "You left Jake, and it took you three freaking months to realise and come back. First, you carved my heart in your name, you became the most irreversible part of my life, you turned yourself into a fond habit; and then, you just left. Do you even realise how it felt?"
Regret washed over him like solitary waves on a shallow beach, and a tear escaped his enslaving eyes.
He stood there and looked at me with empathy and compassion. Even though his eyes looked calm, but somehow his heart's loud, noisy screech didn't fail to reach my ears; as if they screamed back renouncing that he knew exactly how it feels.
"I thought we are equals Jake. I thought you respected my choices. I thought my opinion mattered to you..."
"It does Emma, I value it the most, but the situation was such..."
"Shut Up! What situation? I have seen worse, and I still never left your side. Why do you always have to underestimate me and my love for you?" My voice was slowly losing its dominance and pain was gradually overpowering the reprisal.
"Exactly, Emma. You
