“Maybe respect and humility are character traits that I’m lacking, but I had no role model in those areas. But then again...maybe it’s nothing more than an excuse because I didn’t have role models on human kindness, decency, and compassion either, but those are strong traits of mine you know nothing about,” I snarled before turning on my heel and stalking from the dining room.
“Lake! Harlow! Wait! Please don’t go! I’m sure we can work this out. Your father didn’t mean those things,” I heard my mom call after us.
By the time I reached the front door, she’d caught up to us.
Staring into her eyes, I said, “Mom, you let him change you and not for the better. I can’t afford to do the same. I love you.”
I pressed a hand against her cheek and kissed the other one. “Merry Christmas.”
“DID YOU HAVE TO LET him get to you like that back there? Just this one day, Lake, couldn’t you just put aside your differences?” Harlow sniffed.
Scoffing, I shook my head and glanced at her from the corner of my eye. “Really, Harlow? You’re thirty-one, and you’re still going to sit back and take that shit from him? You owe him nothing! He doesn’t take care of you. And if you’re dating an older man, then it’s just like you said before, that’s your business. Your choice. You’re an international model. A celebrity in your own right. You don’t need Dad to validate your worth!”
Harlow didn’t respond right away, and when she did, it was her tears I noticed first.
“You think that you’ve got it all figured out, don’t you, Lake?”
“What’re you talking about?” I asked, resting my arm on my door and my head in my palm as I navigated the streets back to my house.
“Everything isn’t that cut and dried. What Dad said back there wasn’t wrong.”
“What’re you talking about?” I repeated.
“When he called me an older man’s whore.”
“Watch your language, Harlow! Cuz, fuck Dad!”
“He’s not wrong, Lake. I’m exactly what he said I was.”
“Look—”
“What the hell do you think happens in the modeling industry? We’re not out here all beautiful and glamorous living this wonderful life. People see us sporting high-end fashions, expensive jewelry, walking the runway, and living this life that others would love to live, but that’s not our reality. We’re nothing more than high-end prostitutes, pimped out to the highest bidder. The trips I take around the world, the so-called vacations, aren’t that at all. We go to these private islands to be whatever these rich, powerful men need for the weekend. People need to stop taking in everything the media feeds them and open their eyes to what’s really going on in this world. Yes, I may be a top model, but I didn’t get there because of my beauty alone. I’ve been so used up, Lake...I can’t even tell you what I’ve gone through. It seems as if women get better results by being passive and conniving rather than standing up and being strong for what we believe in. I tried to make myself believe there was nothing wrong with giving it up to get to where I needed to be...initially. But then things changed, and I got stuck. In our life, Lake, success is everything. We’ve grown up surrounded by success, and that’s all I’ve ever wanted. I couldn’t be a failure. You weren’t one, Dad wasn’t, and neither was mom.”
“And neither are you, Low. You’re so damned smart, and you always had so much to offer,” I argued.
The things she was saying to me hurt to my core. I wanted to resist her words, but I knew that she needed me to hear her out.
“Yes, but I thought I was going to blaze my trail separate from what you guys had. I loved the fashion industry, and that was my passion. But it was too late before I realized I’d taken the wrong path, and I could never admit that to mom and dad,” she cried.
“What about me?”
“You were doing so much, Lake. There was no time for me in your life. I know you meant well, but I didn’t want to be a burden to you.”
“It never would’ve been a burden for me to look out for you. I just wanted to love and protect my little sister. How’d this even get started, Low?”
“This well-known, highly recommended photographer, asked me to do special poses, and I trusted his advice. I was working on my portfolio so I could get it into the right hands. He said that if I did a favor, I would get one in return, and it was just between him and me. It didn’t feel right, sure, but I was going to be a star. After the first couple of times, I thought that was it. But before I could get any notoriety, I was about four or five guys in. After a while, I became numb to it. Each step of the way, I was getting further and further in, and I started getting an understanding of the industry. I didn’t realize they were playing off my insecurity and need to be desired. I mean, the sex act itself is normal, but the reasons behind it were mentally damaging. That’s all I am now, Lake, is damaged goods. Gabriel knows what I went through, and he accepts me as I am. He expects nothing from me, but he gives me the world. I’ve found someone who loves and protects me, and he doesn’t judge what I had to go through to get there. I did these things in my way, but I finally found what I’ve been looking for. Someone to love me unconditionally.”
My heart hurt at her revelation. “Low, I always loved you, unconditionally.”
“Yes, but not how I needed. I was missing Dad’s love. I’ll never have it, and I’m okay with that now.
