I shook my head, getting mad at myself for overthinking everything. There had been a time when I’d done whatever I wanted as long as I felt like it. I took another step toward the bed but I must have made a sound without noticing it because Romero’s breathing changed and his body tensed. Oh no. There was no going back now.
He rolled onto his back in one fluid move, then his eyes settled on me. He relaxed but quickly tensed again. “Liliana?”
I didn’t reply. My tongue seemed to be stuck to the roof of my mouth. What had I been thinking?
Romero swung his legs out of bed and he sat on the edge for a moment, silently watching me. Could he see my face? I probably looked like a mouse trapped by a cat, but I wasn’t afraid. Not one bit. If anything, I was embarrassed, and strangely excited. I was a twisted and sick mouse, that much was sure. He stood, and of course my eyes did a quick scan of his body. He was only wearing boxer shorts. He looked too good to be true. Like he’d stepped right out of my dreams. It was embarrassing to think how often I’d dreamed of Romero and all the things I wanted to do with him.
“Lily, what are you doing here? Is everything okay?” There was worry in his voice, but there was also something else. Something I’d heard when he’d caught me spying on him in the shower. It was something darker and almost eager.
My stomach fluttered with butterflies and I took a step in his direction. I wanted to fly into his arms, wanted to kiss him, and so much more.
“Can I sleep with you?” The words shot out, just like that, and once they were out I couldn’t believe I’d said them. Especially since they could easily be taken the wrong way.
Romero froze. Silence stretched out between us. I was sure it would crush me any second. I took another step in his direction. I was almost in arm’s reach now.
The sound of Romero’s breathing was incredibly loud. I could see his chest heaving. Was he angry?
“This isn’t something you should joke about,” he said quietly. “It’s not funny.” He was angry. Maybe I should have taken the hint and turned on my heel to leave his room, but like Gianna I had never been very clever in situations like this.
“I wasn’t joking, and I didn’t mean it like that,” I whispered. “I want to sleep in your bed, just sleep.” For now. I wanted more than that, eventually.
“Liliana,” Romero murmured. “Have you lost your mind? Do you even realize what you’re saying?”
Fury rose up. Everyone always thought I was too young, too naïve, too female to make decisions. “I know exactly what I’m saying.”
“I doubt it.”
I bridged the distance between us until our chests were almost pressed against each other. Romero didn’t back away but he braced himself. “Every night I feel like darkness is swallowing me whole, like my life is spiraling out of control, like there’s nothing good in my life. But when I think of you those feelings disappear. I feel safe when I’m with you.”
“You shouldn’t. I’m not a good man, not by any standards.”
“I don’t care about good. I grew up in this world. I know how things are, and I’m fine with it.”
“You don’t even know half of it. And if you really know how things are, then you should realize what could happen if someone found you in my room at night.”
“I’m tired of hearing what I can’t do. Can’t I decide for myself? It’s my life, so why can’t I make decisions?”
Romero was quiet for a moment before he said, “Of course, it’s your life, but your father has certain expectations of you. And not only that, Luca gave him and Dante Cavallaro his word that he’d take good care of you and keep you safe. That includes your reputation. If someone told them you were in my room right now, that could mean war between the Outfit and New York. This isn’t a game. This is too serious for you to play around.”
“I’m not playing around. I’m so lonely, Romero,” I whispered. “And I like you. I really like you.” That was an understatement. “I only want to be close to you. You kissed me back and I know how you’ve been looking at me. I know you are interested in me.”
He didn’t say anything.
Doubt wormed its way into my brain. Had I been imagining the looks he’d given me? “If you don’t like me, then tell me. It’s okay.” It wasn’t. I’d be crushed, but maybe it would be for the best. I’d move on with my life somehow.
“Fuck,” he murmured, turning away from me and leaving me to stare at his back. “If I was a good guy, I’d tell you exactly that. I’d fucking lie to you for your own good. But I’m not good, Lily.”
Relief flooded me. He hadn’t said he didn’t like me. I’d read the signs right. God, I could have screamed with joy. I rested my palms against his bare shoulder blades. His skin was soft except for a few small scars, but they made him only more desirable to me. They flexed under my touch but he didn’t step away. “So you are interested in me? And you like me?”
Romero let out a harsh laugh. “This is crazy.”
“Just tell me. Do you find me attractive?”
He turned around. I wasn’t quick enough to pull my hands away so
