“Lily, you are stunning. Of course I find you attractive. Look at you, you are too fucking beautiful for words.”
My lips parted. That was more than I’d dared to hope for. I moved even closer and peered up at him. “Then why do you keep pushing me away?”
“Because it’s the right thing to do, and because I know the risks.”
“Isn’t it worth the risk?”
Romero stared down at me with such intensity that I couldn’t help but shiver. He didn’t reply. He gripped my hips and pulled me against him before his lips came down on mine. I opened up without hesitation, eager for that kiss, eager for his closeness. His tongue plunged into my mouth. There was no flicker of hesitation or doubt in his kiss. I moaned. This was so different from our first kiss, more intense. He cupped the back of my head, guiding me the way he wanted it. I could hardly keep up. I stepped on my tiptoes and leaned against him as I gripped onto his shoulders for balance. The kiss consumed me, stirred a fire in my belly and made me long for much more.
Romero jerked away and I tried to follow him but he kept me at arm’s length. His breathing was harsh and there was a wild look in his eyes. “Give me a second,” he rasped.
He squeezed his eyes shut as if he was in pain. All I could think about was to kiss him again, to have his hands on my body. I wanted nothing more. But I did as he asked and gave him a few seconds to get control over himself. Eventually he opened his eyes again. The wild look was gone and was replaced by something more controlled. His grip on my shoulders relaxed and his thumbs lightly stroked my skin. I wasn’t even sure he noticed. The light touch raised goose bumps of delight all over my skin. I waited for him to say something, but also feared what he would say. One of his hands traveled up to my cheek. “You should leave now,” he said quietly.
I froze. “You’re sending me away?”
Hesitation flickered across his face. “It’s for the best, Lily, believe me.”
I took a step back. I wasn’t going to beg him. If he didn’t want me to spend the night, then I’d have to accept it. “Okay. Good night.” I turned around and hurried out of the room. I hardly paid attention as I crossed the corridor toward my room. I’d put myself out there today, had risked everything to get what I wanted. I wouldn’t do that again. I had a huge crush on Romero but I also still had my pride. If he didn’t want to risk this, then I’d accept it.
I closed the door and crept back into my bed. Like before, the darkness closed in on me. It was too silent in my room, too lonely and empty. Even the memory of the kiss Romero and I had shared couldn’t cheer me up. Not when it was probably the last time I’d kissed Romero. It took a long time for me to fall asleep and then Mother’s pale unhappy face haunted my dreams.
* * *
Romero and I barely looked at each other the next morning. I didn’t seek his closeness like usual. I tried to avoid his eyes as much as possible but a few times I caught him stealing glances my way. I wasn’t sure what they meant, but I was glad that he and I didn’t get to spend time alone together. Of course he was almost always around. It was difficult to avoid your bodyguard, but I did my best to focus entirely on my sisters, to enjoy my time with them.
Romero
It was way past midnight when I headed for my room. Luca, Matteo, and I had played cards until an hour ago, a distraction I fucking needed, and afterward when they had joined their wives in bed, I’d sat on the terrace, and wondered why I couldn’t have the same.
A noise made me pause. My hand went to my gun as I followed the sound toward Lily’s door. She sounded like she was in distress, mumbling in her sleep and crying. I checked the corridor, but I was alone. Everyone was long asleep or at least busy behind closed bedroom doors. I pushed the door open and slipped in. It took my eyes a moment to get used to the darkness, which was worse than in the rest of the house. The curtains didn’t let any light in. I kept the door ajar and moved further into the room. I knew what I should do, and it definitely wasn’t being alone in Lily’s bedroom with her at night. On my list of things to avoid that was really at the top.
She was in obvious distress and I’d vowed to protect her but a nightmare wouldn’t harm her. There was no reason for me to be here. I could have called Aria or Gianna, or just let Lily sleep through her nightmare, but I was a stupid fucker.
When she’d come to my room two days ago, it had taken every fucking ounce of self-control to send her away. I’d wanted her in my bed, and not just for sleep. When I’d first heard her question if she could sleep with me, I’d almost gotten a hard-on. I knew she didn’t mean it that way, but I’d never wanted to misunderstand someone more than in that night.
This was messed up. I’d always
