Anna pursed her lips and exhaled, her breath inching away from her lips. Gaia was right. Some of the giddiness bouncing in her belly streamed out of her body.
And tripped over itself in a rush to return with the next set of instructions.
“Open your eyes. Take as much time as you need. When you are ready, turn your left-hand palm up and your right-hand palm down and position your hands in line with your partner’s.”
Leo’s were broad, warm, and steady. Each of Anna’s fingertips rested in the bowl of his palm.
“Look at your partner’s left eye, the side of the body that symbolizes reception. Continue to breathe; continue to relax; continue to stay present. Try to not look away.”
Her inner thigh muscles answered the call to attention, even though there was no specific mention of inner thighs after “partner’s eye.” The infusion of awareness between Anna’s legs swirled up in painterly strokes until a tingly heat suffused her belly and her lower back. Memory shards that had pricked at her arms returned to tickle the space around her heart. This time they arrived with smoother edges.
She closed her eyes and swallowed. Leo squeezed her hands.
“You okay?” he whispered, leaning forward.
Anna nodded. Another breath shuddered through the spaces between her ribs, stumbling as it traversed her upper back. She remembered Gaia’s instruction to relax and release. Breathing out, she pictured her shoulders melting away from her ears.
It worked. She could feel the movement in her body, could feel the difference between very tense Anna and less tense Anna. She tried relaxing more. Her ribcage lifted and spread a fraction more when she breathed in, and when she breathed out, she let her breath go softly, slowly, like tiptoeing out of a room.
“For the next two minutes,” Gaia instructed, “synchronize your breathing with your partner’s.”
When she opened her eyes again, the warmth in her belly raised a few degrees at the concern on Leo’s face. He smiled, exaggerated his next inhalation, and waited for her to catch on. They exhaled together, co-conspirators, their hands sliding closer until they wrapped each other’s wrists. Pulses danced under her palms and fingertips, and she couldn’t tell which beats were hers and which were Leo’s.
“You can release your hands. Please stay quiet and keep conversation to a minimum as you turn around. This time, you will be back to back with your partner.”
Anna came off her stack of pillows less than gracefully, her legs stiff from sitting. She sneaked in a little stretch while Leo pushed their cushions together. He smiled at her again as he pulled his shirttail from under his butt and then looked over his shoulder to see if she was ready.
She waited until he stopped moving before snugging her rounded backside against the wall of muscles and bone. The silkiness of her new bra and underwear slipped liquidly below the heavier fabric of her pants.
Layers. Everything had layers. Her body was cushiony, and with the extravagance of her recent purchases covering her limbs, she could honestly say she felt a soft femininity that had been missing from her emotional repertoire.
Elaine might have bought the ticket that got her in the door of this experience, but once in—and she was as all in as she could be—Anna realized she was doing this for herself.
“As with the previous exercises, if anyone feels uncomfortable at any point, please raise a hand.” Gaia’s smooth voice raised in volume above the murmur of voices circling the room. Anna wasn’t the only one having a novel experience.
At first, only their clothing touched. Anna walked her butt back until her sacrum met Leo’s, and millimeter by millimeter, they rested more fully against one another. When her chest expanded as she breathed in, his did too. When her shoulders dropped incrementally as she breathed out, his followed her lead. The back of her head snugged up against the base of his skull, and for the rest of their synchronized breathing time, she leaned fully into his support and offered him what she could.
She promised herself she wouldn’t cry. Their bodies were so closely melded, he’d feel it. Instead, she bargained silently.
You can feel this, but be a big girl. She recalled the first time she paddled away from shore, belly down on a surfboard, and had to learn to read the sea and the swells in a whole new way.
She did that now. Waited for the swells of sensation and emotion. Let them pass under the board, steered with a light hand, a knowing hand, until she was ready to call, “Mine,” ready to own the wave that would bring her up to her knees and, eventually, to her feet.
Gaia’s gentle instruction to come out of the exercise didn’t register in Anna’s brain or her body. Sitting against Leo, riding the surfboard in her mind, was too delicious. He didn’t rush to break contact. Eventually, everyone around them came off their pillows and stood.
Leo leaned into her more, turned his head, and spoke over his shoulder. “That was nice, Saffron. Thank you.”
“It was, and thank you, Leo.”
Anna stayed on her pillow, shut her eyes to distraction, and went back to her inner surfing adventure. Some participants left the room for a break, others broke out into spontaneous stretching or a yoga pose, and others chatted quietly. When everyone returned, Gaia instructed them to repeat the same eye-gazing and back-breathing exercises with the person to their other side and again with the person sitting directly across the room.
Going through the exercises with two more partners brought a new set of sensations and reactions each time and allowed her to grow more confident in her ability to sense others, sense herself, and go along with new adventures.
The workshop wound down while the sun set over the Vancouver skyline. Elaine had scheduled massages for them at the hotel, so she and Anna didn’t stay to socialize afterward. Sage gave her his
