“Good morning Daddy,” I yawned, stretching out my arms. He kissed my forehead and then like clockwork told me breakfast was ready and that he’d made me my favorite. Then he left the room for me to have my privacy. I put on my mom’s old robe that was now worn thin and I went to the bathroom that I shared with my sisters and jumped in for a quick shower. I came down into the kitchen all clean and smelling of oranges, vanilla, and shea butter. Dad was sitting at the head of the table, reading the newspaper like he did almost every morning. He put it down when he noticed me and took a plate off stove that had a pile of crepes on it. I sat in my chair beside him and looked at the delicious feast in front of me; crepes, fresh strawberries, blueberries, whipped cream, chocolate, and real Canadian maple syrup, that he got me on one of his business trips. Nothing beat real maple syrup. I loaded up one of the thin crepes and then took a bite, it was delicious, the flavors were bursting on my tongue; sweet, creamy, tart and rich flavors exploded as I took another bite quick, moaning in delight. Dad laughed pleased as I finished two crepes fast and then felt like I was going to explode.
“Good?” dad asked, finishing his first crepe.
“Fantastic but I feel like I’m going to explode now.” I laughed, resting my hand on my belly. He laughed at that.
“So, do you feel eighteen now?” dad asked, smiling brightly.
“No, I still feel the same. I thought I’d feel different now being a legal adult but nothing.” I shrugged. I still felt like I was a kid.
“Well, you will always be my little girl,” he said and then put his hand on mine. “Your mom and Miguel would have wanted to be here, they would have been so proud of the person you’ve become. I know you miss them a lot because I miss your mom too and I know you still blame them but it wasn’t their fault honey,” he said, turning my happy aura into a sad one. He was right, I still blamed them for the accident, even if I still loved and missed them more than anything, it was still their fault. I nodded and looked my dad in the eyes. “I love you,” he told me genuinely.
“I love you too Daddy,” I said and gave him a hug, “I better get ready for school,” I said and let go to leave. He held my hand in his grasp.
“You get more beautiful every day honey,” he said, his voice shaking but he was trying not to cry.
“And older,” I added, lightening the mood.
“Yeah that too, now go get ready for school and learn something. Tonight, we will do something just the two of us,” he promised. It used to be the three of us, dad, James, and I. James was always with me, he’d even come and sleep over at Gran’s with me sometimes, we used to do everything together but now it was just me and dad or Gran and I. Don’t let thoughts of James ruin your day, I decided and began my walk to school.
I said good morning to Mrs. Becker and then went to my seat, there was only a couple of us in class this early. I thought about the day before and how shocked James had looked when I told him that it wasn’t me who had called the cops on him. I remembered that night a little better now. I was driving home and I passed James in his new car that he had gotten a few months before. He was so happy when his parents had bought the car for his sixteenth birthday. He had always loved to drive and loved cars, he even had a countdown until he could get his learner’s permit. So, as I was passing by James, I noticed him swerving in and out of his lane and then he almost hit me, he and his friends were all laughing and shouting, and some even had a beer in their hand. I knew he was drunk right away, which was weird because James didn’t even really like beer. I panicked, having flashbacks of broken glass, sirens, and the funeral. I picked up my phone and quickly dialed, not knowing what to do and called June’s cell. She answered on the second ring and I was already hysterical.
“Don’t worry Mickey, I’ll take care of it, just calm down,” she said, trying to act tough for the both of us. By the time I got to my house I was past hysterics, I was hyperventilating and I couldn’t breathe. Dad brought me to the hospital when I fainted from having not enough oxygen and then the rest is blank. They told me James was okay but he’d been arrested and wouldn’t be allowed to drive for two years. I was crushed, I knew how much his car and license meant to him.
When James came in and took a seat, he completely ignored me and started to talk to Cody, it was like he still hated me, I just didn’t know why. I’d been silly enough to hope that with this newfound knowledge he’d be over his hatred of me but clearly my hopes were in vain. He finally looked at me and whispered.
“It was June.” His voice was so low, I had to lean in to hear him.
“I know,” I told him, I had come to that realization last night. I watched his face become shocked again. He didn’t say anything else until Mrs. Becker told us we could use the last fifteen minutes to work on our project. Cody and Anne passed out the folders that held each group’s work
