“It’s your turn,” he said and pulled out my list to pick a word and write down all I had to say. I nodded unhappily, I didn’t want it to be my turn.
“Your last turn doesn’t count because it was wrong,” I said, even though I didn’t want to say it, I had to stall for time, I couldn’t explain the word waiting for me on my list. He thought about it and then reluctantly agreed. I took his paper and got my pencil ready.
“Betrayal?” I asked curiously.
“My sister, she called the cops on me and let me believe it was you. Learning that made me pissed and fucking angry. I can’t believe I’ve lived with a liar. Knowing that she could lie to me and live with me, that hurts,” he said, the anger clear in his voice. I wrote it all down but changed fucking angry to very angry.
“Jealousy,” he said, calculating my expression, I felt my face get hot under his gaze.
“I was once jealous of this girl. I never really knew her and I never really liked her but I was jealous of her. Not for her looks, even though she was pretty, not for her personality or friends, not her wealth but there was one thing she had, that I was dreamed of having and wanted. Every time I saw her with it, I felt sick, with disgust, anger and jealousy.”
“You never said who and what you were jealous of,” James said, looking bored.
“And you left out a lot too,” I defended. He merely shrugged his shoulders, not seeming to care. The bell rang shortly after and I was grateful he didn’t have the chance to ask me another question, I still felt embarrassed from the last.
“What’s up?” Em asked in Science, which I had right after English.
“Nothing, why?” Did I look funny or something? She was giving me an odd look and studying my face.
“You, look-” Funny, ugly, weird? “Different,” she decided. What’s that mean?
“Good or bad?” I asked uncertainly.
“Neither. Just your face is little red and your smile is off. Did something happen, you look like you did when you tried to draw a cat and Christina asked if it was supposed to be a mouse,” she summarized. Yeah, that was embarrassing and I had worked so hard on that cat. I sucked at drawing.
“Oh,” I said simply, feeling more embarrassed.
“Spill,” Em said, putting her hand on her hip.
“Just in English class, Mrs. Becker’s making us tell basically our secrets to someone so they can write them down, it’s really lame,” I told her. She nodded understandingly.
“I got that too, it really sucks,” she agreed.
“Tiffany go sit with Mike.” Mrs. Storppe ordered. What? That was almost as bad as being with James. Almost and that was beyond horrid. Tiffany rolled her beautiful multicoloured blue and turquois contacts and strutted to the chair beside me, shaking her booty as much as she could, looking grim, like this was the worst possible punishment. She sat down, the heavy buckle on her Chanel bag hitting the desk as she dropped it purposefully. I admired her fake French manicured nails and then she quickly whispered to me, “Stalker.” Excuse me! I wanted to punch her in the face, so instead of doing that which would have definitely got me suspended, I whispered back, smiling as sweetly as possible, “Bitch.” Her eyes widened in surprise. I guess she was not used to it being a two-way street. If you can’t take it, don’t dish it. I found her surprise really hard to believe considering everyone called her a bitch behind her back; her friends, her boyfriends and most shockingly, even some of the teachers! I guess I was the first to tell her face to face, which I found very surprising.
“I can’t believe you just said that to me,” she stated, her voice shrill with anger and hurt.
“I can’t believe no one’s said it sooner,” I told her, feigning horror. Her face was dismayed, maybe I shouldn’t have said it, but oh well it was too late now.
“I can’t believe you said that,” she repeated sounding quite upset.
“I’m an honest person. Yeah, I know we’re hard to come by with all your snobby, wannabe, ass-kissing friends,” I filled in triumphantly. Feeling on a roll, I couldn’t stop with all the pent-up anger I had.
“Stalker,” Was all she had in reply. I laughed at her, that was all she could come up with.
“You know just as well as I, that I am no stalker.” She frowned at that.
“Yeah, what about James?” she said, sounding less convinced now.
“If anyone were to stalk James, I’d be the last,” I told her. I knew she believed me but didn’t want to.
“I know,” she admitted finally, surprising me. My mouth opened, echoing my shock.
“Don’t look so shocked, I’m not stupid, it’s obvious that you hate James and after what he did to you, I don’t blame you but you used to be friends,” she said. She’d heard the fight, she was there and she had even told him what to do, she was a big part of it.
“He changed.” Or he realized what he could have, I just didn’t fit into that equation. Either way he ended everything between us.
“I remember what he said and it was mean and I know mean.” She was right it was mean, more than mean but they had all gotten what they wanted and it still didn’t stop them from picking on me. The bell rang and we got up.
“Don’t tell anyone I talked to you or I’ll tell them you’re stalking me too,” she threatened with a smile; I was wondering where the bitch went.
“Don’t worry I’ll just tell them you’re a bitch and I’d never talk to you willingly.” That made her smile for real.
“Back at you, stalker,” she said and left. Em came to see me at the end of class, looking very curious.
“What happened?” she asked, nodding in the direction Tiffany had
