“Please don’t make me show this to him,” I pled.
“Don’t worry I would never do that,” she said kindly, “Love and hate, they are such similar emotions,” she said quietly surprising me. What was she talking about? They were polar opposites.
“Mrs. B, can I ask you something?” I asked her curiously.
“Of course.” She smiled sweetly.
“Why did you give this project? Why are you interested in our lives?” I asked her, I didn’t believe for one second it was just about us learning to connect with characters we read about or about us talking to each other about strong sentiments we felt for therapeutic reasons. She grinned guiltily now.
“I think it’s a good teaching method,” she answered, “And I might find some useful notes for when I write,” she said quietly, making me laugh. So, laying out our personal lives was not just for some assignment but for her amusement and inspiration as well.
“Hey Derek,” I said as he sat down beside me at lunch. We’d gotten to be pretty good friends ever since gym but I had the sinking feeling that he wanted more, it was just too bad I didn’t feel the same.
“Hey Mike what’s up?” he smiled, his freckled cheeks getting dimples.
“I got you some goodies,” I told him, passing him a paper bag.
“Rocky Road, you’re a God,” he said, taking one of the bars that I made yesterday after school out of the bag and took a bite. “Mmm,” he moaned swallowing.
“Just happy my baking goes to good use,” I laughed truthfully. Alyssa and my step sisters didn’t eat anything I made because of the calories and dad was away on business so I didn’t have the chance to make him too much. James had become my enemy, so the only person I had to bake for was Gran, and my few friends. I baked whenever I had the chance, it was my passion and it filled the empty hours that James had left me with. I baked everything and anything but my favorite things to bake were desserts, I had a huge sweet tooth and never tired of decadent pastry.
“Well, you can bake for me whenever you want.” He grinned. Em nudged me with her foot under the table but I just ignored her and ate my soup. Things between Derek and I continued to get even weirder, like in gym he volunteered to be my partner for badminton, even though I wanted to be with Tara, and he even tried to hold my hand for a few seconds.
“I like Derek just not like that, for one thing, he’s not my type.” I still didn’t know what my type was but I knew he wasn’t it.
“What’s wrong with him?” Em asked, as we talked on the phone just before I left for Gran’s house. Good question.
“Nothing, he’s just too perfect,” I decided, packing my school bag full of clothes and stuff to show Gran. I did it every time I saw her, I’d bring new stuff to show her or things I thought she’d like.
“Too perfect? There’s no such thing, you’re just making excuses, you always make excuses. I just don’t understand why?” she laughed. Well that made a lot of people, including myself.
“I don’t know, he’s nice but he’s not my type. He always lets me be right, we never argue, he always compliments me, he’s just… Derek.” I sighed.
“He freaking worships the ground you walk on! What else do you want?” she asked, clearly thinking I was being insane. It wasn’t about me wanting more but different things, he was Derek and not trying to be mean but that was boring for me. He was a great friend but I couldn’t see myself in a long-term relationship with him.
“Oh, I got to go but I’ll see you Monday,” Em said suddenly.
“Okay, bye,” I said.
“Bye.” She clicked off. I found myself looking out my window and into James’s room, his curtains were closed as usual but still I wondered whether he was in his room and if he was okay or sick, maybe that’s why he missed school. I finished packing and got into dad’s black Lexus. I took a deep breath, put my bag in the passenger seat, strapped myself in and turned the keys, putting my foot on the brake. I checked all my mirrors and blind spots and then reversed and was on my way to Gran’s. Like every time I drove to Gran’s, I wished someone else could, like dad or James. They always used to drive me but now I had no one, with dad being away and James having left me. I drove managing to only make three stops, one stop less than the last time. Okay, so I can only drive for twenty minutes without freaking out and seeing my dead mom and dad in their final breaths but in twenty minutes you could get pretty far. Like to school or the library or the mall, even the movie theatre and lots of restaurants, so often I wouldn’t even have to make stops when I went these short distances but whenever I went to Gran’s there were always many stops. When I turned into Gran’s driveway and got out with my bag in hand, I felt great to be done with the drive and to be at a place that held so many good memories for me. Gran came out, dish towel still in her hand.
“Oh, sweets you’re here! I was just drying some dishes. Come on in,” she said giving me a hug and walking me into the house. Grandma looked fully Hispanic but when she spoke had a true Ohio accent, which was where she lived for thirty years before she moved here to follow her son. She kissed me on both cheeks and then smiled, her wise brown eyes wrinkling at the sides and her smile big, her black hair was now graying
