“But Gran, I still don’t get why yours is in here,” I said in a small voice. This was all scaring me.
“I’m getting old sweets,” she started, but I cut her off, I couldn’t handle much more.
“No, you’re still young and healthy and active. This is all nonsense,” I said, voice cracking.
“Sweets, I may be active but young and healthy I am not. I am almost eighty-eight and my doctor tells me that I have been diagnosed with lung cancer,” she said slowly. My heart stopped on the last word and the tears tumbled out of my eyes.
“No,” I cried and held her against me. “They’re wrong, you never smoked a cigarette in your life. You’re healthy,” I argued, my voice still shaking. Gran patted my back soothingly.
“I know my sweets, but your grandfather smoked like a chimney and everyone else at the bar where I waitressed did too,” she tried to explain. I never met my step-grandfather, he died when dad was twenty. I used to wish I might have had the chance but now I just wished he had never made Gran sick and had disappeared long before that. We went back down for some tea but the whole time I watched Gran’s every movement. She was right, she was a lot older than she seemed to be but I was only noticing it now. Like how she was slower than before and her face had many more wrinkles and was thinner looking. Tears continued to dribble out from my eyes no matter how hard I tried to stop them.
“Do you need help?” I asked her again as I sat at one of the chairs observing through watery and blurry eyes. Gran turned around, hands on her hips.
“Don’t you start treating me like glass. I’m fine, this bird ain’t going out with one hell of a fight.” I smiled at her small tough face.
“I’m sorry Gran,” I apologized.
“Don’t apologize, just don’t do it,” she said and put down her beautiful rose bud tea cups and saucers. “How is James?” she asked casually and changed the subject as well.
“You know James and I don’t talk Gran,” I told her, feeling slightly annoyed. Gran always asked about James, every time I saw her and she knew we didn’t talk.
“But you should. It’s not good to live with hate and that boy loved you,” she continued. More like the other way around.
“Why don’t you tell him that,” I said frowning.
“Because this is between you two,” she said, stirring sugar into her tea.
“Well then, for your information James never loved me, he pitied me and even if I were to forgive him, he still wouldn’t talk to me,” I told her, feeling angry now. Gran raised her eyes at me.
“Who told you that hogwash? The boy loved you, he was in love with you Michaela. Now please, for an old bird, would you try to make amends?” she pled. I didn’t bother telling her it was James who told me that. Instead I granted her wish,
“Fine.” And then took a sip of my peppermint tea.
James
So, like the coward I was, I skipped school the next day. When mom came into my room, I told her I was sick and needed to sleep. She didn’t question me because I had never done this before and then she left me alone. I watched Mickey draw her curtains in her pink PJs and then go out of view. What are you thinking? I opened and closed my curtains twice to say good morning or hi, it had two meanings but she didn’t see. I felt stupid for even playing the game now. I shouldn’t have the morning after our fight. Especially since we never even should have had the fight. Cody texted me from homeroom to tell me what I what I was missing.
Stlkr has 2 wrk with Mrs. B. Lsr. Oh, that sucked, but the real loser was the one who texted half his words without the vowels.
I feel bad, I texted back.
Y? He questioned.
Cause that’s punishment for anyone,
We texted off and on throughout the day but nothing else was interesting, so instead I watched TV and ate ice cream, which reminded me of the events of the night before and made me sick all over again. The day passed by in a daze, I wasn’t actually doing anything but time kept moving on, not waiting for me to wake up from my internal summer. Mickey left in her dad’s Lexus, probably going to her grandmother’s. I envied that Mickey had a grandmother. My grandmother had died and then a month later my Gramps had passed away too. They were so close that Gramps died from a broken heart. I always wanted to die like that too, but my heart already felt broken. I’d never met my grandparents on my mother’s side but that’s just because her parents disowned her for marrying my father, they were still alive but wanted nothing to do with us. She gave up her whole life for my dad, okay not all of it but her family and that was a lot. Mom got home before dad and June. She came into the living room and sat down beside me.
“You feeling okay?” she asked, worried, giving me a kiss on the cheek. I nodded.
“Mom, how did you know you were in love with dad?” I asked her. I’d never asked her this before. She looked a little taken aback but smiled it off with a knowing smile.
“Well, I guess just because I never needed to pretend with him and believe me, before I met your father my life was just an act, my whole life. He always made me feel good about myself and accepted me completely. Love has so many emotions, it’s hard to explain.” She smiled. Mom always smiled, but even
