I think about my mother and how disappointed she’d be. She was an angel who was taken too soon. Her warmth, love, and devotion to her children were unparalleled. We’ve been on our own since she passed away, and her last wish is the only reason I’m here.
I made her promises while she lied there dying. I told her that I would protect my brothers, make sure they turned out okay. I gave her my word, and look at where that has gotten them.
I fall to my knees, staring at the damage and praying that the man who has only ever thought about himself will do the right thing this one time.
That’s when I hear rustling behind me.
“Dec?” Connor’s voice is quiet, but it sounds as if he’s shouting in the still morning air.
He’s looking to me for answers.
“It really happened,” Jacob says.
“Yeah …” I wish it weren’t the truth, but here is the proof.
When Sean opens the door, his face is haggard, and it looks as if he’s lost years off his life. “I can’t look at that car.”
Before I can speak, my father strides out, running his hand down his face. He knocks into Sean and then rights himself.
“What are you four idiots doing?” he slurs.
“Do you remember anything about what you did last night?” I prompt.
I struggle to look at him because this isn’t the man who raised me. He’s an imposter, a drunk, and an abusive prick who thinks we need to be the outlet for his anger.
“You’re going to confess what you did.” My voice leaves no room for discussion. “You killed two people last night, and you put your sons in harm’s way—again. I’m done protecting you.”
My father looks over at the car and then to us. We stand ready to fight him no matter what.
“The hell I am.”
“You’re a worthless piece of shit!” Sean yells and heads toward him. My hand grips his arm, pulling him to a stop. “You’ve destroyed everyone’s lives! Mine, theirs! I won’t let you do it anymore! You’re going to confess!” he screams.
Sean has always been the calm one, and Mama used to call him her “Sweet Boy.” He has a tender heart, so to see him outraged has the rest of us speechless.
Dad takes a step closer, his chest puffing out and spit forming on his lips. “You going to make me, Boy? It is your car that has the damage. It was you four who were out joyriding last night, wasn’t it? I’m sure everyone in town knows the Arrowood brothers are back and that truck makes a lot of noise. Are you sure no one heard you?”
Anger like I’ve never felt starts to build. “You were driving.”
His evil grin spreads. “No one knows that, Son.”
“I’m not your son.”
“You four should think about what it would look like. You’re all back, Sean’s car has damage on it, and you said two people are dead …”
Connor’s breathing grows louder, and I see him clenching his fists. “You’re disgusting.”
“Maybe so, but you seem to have gotten yourselves into a mess. If I were you, I’d keep your mouths shut so you don’t end up sending your brother to jail. And no one will let a convict in the military.” Then he turns his gaze to Sean. “It’d be a shame to see you lose that scholarship, wouldn’t it?” He smirks at me and then walks inside, leaving the four of us stunned.
“He can’t do this!” Jacob yells. “He can’t pin this on us, can he?”
They look to me, always to me, and I shrug. I don’t put anything past him. “I don’t know.”
“I can’t go to jail, Dec,” Sean says.
No, he can’t. Sean is going places. We all are, and it’s far away from this town. I can’t do this to Sydney either. I can’t saddle her with the burden of what happened last night and destroy the future she so desperately wants. What kind of a life could I give her if he ever made good on that threat? How would she go on to law school being married to a man who left two people dead on the side of the road?
And if I can’t have her, then there will never be another.
There’s only one option: a vow between the only three people who matter more than my own life.
“We promise each other right now,” I say with my hand extended and then wait for each of my brothers to circle around me and link together hand to wrist. “We vow that we will never be like him. We will protect what we love and never get married or have kids, agreed?”
It means I give up Syd. It means I ruin every fucking dream I have, but it’s the only protection I can give her. She’ll find another man—a better one—and be happy. She has to be.
Sean bobs his head quickly. “Yes, we will never love because we might be like him.”
Jacob’s voice is as hard as steel when he says, “We don’t raise our fists in anger, only to defend ourselves.”
Connor’s eyes fill with anger. His hands are like vices, squeezing tighter as he stares at me. “And we never have kids or come back here.”
In unison, we all shake. The Arrowood brothers never break promises to each other.
A few hours later, we’ve moved the car into the abandoned barn in the back. We’re all tired, broken, and exhausted. Jacob, Sean, and I are leaving tomorrow, but Connor has a few weeks before he leaves for boot camp.
“Dec?” Sean grips my arm as I pass him.
“Yeah?”
“You don’t have to do this, you know?”
“Do what?”
He sighs and then pushes his hair back. “Break her heart. I know what we said, and while it works for the three of us, we all were … fucked in the head. You love Sydney.”
I do. I love her more than anything in the world, enough
