Then she turns and runs, leaving me alone to hate myself more than she could ever hate me.
Chapter Two
Sydney
~ Present ~
Oh, God, Declan is here. He’s in this town, which he swore he’d never be in again, and I feel as though a million needles are pricking at my skin. I pride myself on being brave, yet here I am hiding like a coward because I can’t do it.
Seeing him almost seven months ago was hard enough. We didn’t talk at his father’s funeral, but I felt him in my soul. I stood, watching him with his brothers and taking in the looks of relief they each wore. He was even more handsome than I remembered. His chestnut-brown hair fell back, but it wasn’t slick, and he filled out that suit like it was made for him. Hell, it probably was. Declan Arrowood has done very well for himself. I’ve followed his career because I’m a glutton for punishment, and he’s impressed me at every turn.
However, I still can’t find it in my heart to forgive him or talk to him.
He broke my heart that night, but each day he stayed away or refused to contact me has decimated that organ beyond repair.
I lean down, grab a flower that is growing on the edge of the pond, and hold it, remembering how he used to make me feel. He promised me that at the end of college, we’d find a way.
Two years he said after we finished our sophomore years.
Two years my ass.
I throw the flower into the pond and watch it float. It’s funny that it’s exactly how I feel about my life. I’m just … drifting. I don’t sink, I’m much too strong for that, but I’m still in this pond, allowing the current to take me where it deems I should go.
One would think that, after this many years, I’d be over it. And I was. I got my law degree, am a volunteer EMT, and have great friends, but there’s still a gaping hole in my chest from when a stupid boy ripped my heart out and never gave it back.
Now, the same stupid boy is in Sugarloaf, and everything I buried is bubbling up.
My phone rings, and it’s Ellie, my best friend who I’ve been avoiding until Declan disappears again.
“Hey,” I say as lightheartedly as I can.
“Hey, are you not coming to the party?”
I bite my lip and try to think of a way to break it to her. “I can’t, Ells.”
“Because he’s here?”
Yes. “No.”
“Then why, because Hadley is asking for you. She told us you said you’d be right back, and that was over two hours ago. She won’t let us sing happy birthday or eat cake or open presents or do anything until her auntie Syd is here.” Her voice quickens over each word.
I am such a damn coward. I dropped Hadley off, and when she ran inside, I ran away. I’m not ready to be in the same room with him. It’ll be too awkward and too … us.
Still, I can’t disappoint Hadley. “I’m on my way. Just … if it gets to be too much …”
“I’ll cover for you,” Ellie finishes what I wasn’t able to say.
“Thanks.”
“Just get here before she drives us all crazier.”
I smile, knowing that’s exactly what Hadley will do, and I leave the sanctuary to head back to hell.
As I walk, I try to recall the bad things. If I’m angry, I won’t feel like some lovesick idiot around him. I think about the night he told me we were done. The weeks after where I begged him to come back to me so we could work it out. All the heartache I endured, thinking he would change his mind.
He didn’t.
He dropped me as though I were nothing and never gave me any reason.
Jerk.
I walk through the field, passing the tree-mansion Connor has built Hadley. Seriously, that kid doesn’t have him wrapped around her finger, she has him wrapped around her whole hand. It’s cute though, and it’s made me wonder if I’m being silly by letting my dating life fall to the wayside.
I’ve given up on love. There’s been guys, but nothing that has had any true meaning. All because the fear of having my heart broken has been stronger than the desire to love again. Declan didn’t break my heart though—no, he stole it from my chest.
I trudge up the steps, holding onto the anger and resentment he put in my heart all those years ago, and open the door.
As soon as I turn, he’s there.
“Syd.”
“Asshole,” I reply and cross my arms.
He runs his hands through his thick hair, pushing it away from his face, and then looks down. “I deserve that.”
“We have something we agree upon then.”
He looks at me from under those thick lashes, which no man should possess, and grins. “You look good.”
So do you.
No, no, Syd. He does not look good. He looks like the devil who broke your heart and never looked back.
I have to remember all that. If I don’t, I might not be able to ignore that he still makes my heart sputter or that I have never felt more secure in another’s arms—not that I’ve spent eight-fucking-years trying to find a man even half as perfect as Declan Arrowood. More than that, though, is that I have to keep some distance between us so he won’t get the wrong idea and start thinking that there’s a snowball’s chance in hell of a reconciliation.
Screw me once, shame on him. Screw me twice, I’m a fool who needs to be punched.
“I’m sure we also agree that we don’t really need to do this. We have six months to get through, and then we can go back to pretending the other doesn’t exist.”
Declan moves a bit closer, and the cologne, which he’s worn since he was seventeen, creeps around me. I bought him his first bottle of it for Christmas. It
