She wriggles her ring-finger. “Now don’t forget!”
Billy laughs, goes to leave, but pauses to ask, “What’s this rumor about you being pregnant? That true?”
She doesn’t even bat an eyelash extension. “No, honey. Don’t worry. I’m all yours. That rumor must be coming from our future.”
On a grin he vanishes into the party.
She and I walk into the kitchen where she bogarts an entire bowl of potato chips. “These greasy fuckers need to be in my mouth!” She offers the bowl to me and I take a handful. “Looks like someone is consummating a six-minute courtship. Madison, look.”
I glance over my shoulder to watch Nicholas Cocker guiding that brunette to the guest bathroom. Under my breath I sigh, “She’s practically dancing her way there.”
“Wouldn’t you be?”
Staring at his ass I snort, “No way, are you kidding?” Shoving a chip in my mouth I lock eyes with Denise. “I wouldn’t!” Her eyebrows twitch, but I maintain, “Seriously, I wouldn’t want a guy like him.”
“Tall, dark, handsome, and kisses like he’d make you forget your own name?”
I shake my head a little, eyes flitting to where they disappeared. “He is way too in demand. Other women would be forever chasing him. I wouldn’t hold his attention.” Shrugging a shoulder I crunch my inadequacies away.
My chin is grabbed. Denise gets in my face, voice gentler than these insistent fingers. “You are you. The second you start owning who you are, is the second you’ll begin a happy life.” She snatches a chip from my hand. “Stop hiding under all that drab clothing and own your shit, woman!”
“Says the most confident person I’ve ever known,” I mutter, piling more chips in my hand from the bowl. “Is there onion dip?”
“Spinach only.” She holds up mangled green goo that looks oddly delicious. “Pray nobody with the plague double dipped. And don’t give me that crap, Madison Greeley-Smith, because I don’t want to hear your excuses.”
My chip breaks under the weight of my scoop. “I’m saying that you were born with the ability to walk into any room and feel comfortable. I’m not like that. I’m worried about what everyone is thinking, and I feel like I’m on the outside. I’m an introvert.”
Sipping gin and soda, Denise thinks about it a moment. She locks onto me like she figured out the answer, eyes lighting up so that she shines brighter than those light bulbs. “If you didn’t care what anybody thought—like if none of that mattered or you were out on some deserted island or something—then you would be free to be just you, right? Imagine if nobody else was here—ever—how would you feel?”
“Great. That sounds like heaven, actually.”
“That’s how you do it! You forget about them and be you as if no one else was here! Because the truth is, nobody’s opinion really matters more than yours, Maddie. Take for example the coolest people you’ve ever known.”
“Like you.”
She ignores me. “They are cool because they don’t care what anyone else thinks. They’re rocking to their own beat. That’s why we watch them! That’s what makes someone interesting, right? When they walk around just owning it, not giving a shit.” She turns in a circle, strutting. “That’s what I do! Madison, that’s the secret. You gotta be you, and what I love about you is your strong opinions. Your undying loyalty. You’re so damn generous with your time, your heart, your help. I know I can always count on you. And you make me laugh more than anyone I know! Your humor is so dry, so you. Think about it this way: someday you will be lying in a coffin and I guarantee you, those people you were so worried about, will not be there. Who the fuck cares about them? Care about you, and the people you love.” Snatching the last chip from my hands she wags it. “Shine, baby shine! Forget about impressing anyone but yourself.”
I stare at her as she pops my last potato chip into her mouth.
I am unable to argue.
I need time to think.
I don’t want to wake up in a coffin one day and wish I’d lived a brave life.
“I’ve gotta pee.”
She waves me off, “Do your business.”
I head for the guest bathroom, freeze, look at her, and change course.
She busts up laughing, her voice flying over strangers’ heads. “See! You’re funny!”
CHAPTER 3
N ICHOLAS
“N o, Matt, I don’t think she’s interesting.”
Matthew and I are watching a pretty face making her way through the living room.
He asks, “Too vanilla? How’d it go with…?” He chuckles at my shrug and says, “You have a thing for bathrooms.”
“I prefer them. People always knocking on the door. You don’t linger.”
“Good point.”
“She was fine. It was what it was.”
We make our way behind the bar as Matthew says, “I could have sworn you disappeared into a guest room with Penny that one night.”
I reach for the secret stash of actual glassware Billy keeps hidden in a wine box. Only his guy friends know about it. “That was with Marla.”
“Same night?”
“At midnight we break these. Yes, same night. They knew about each other. I wasn’t tricking anyone.”
“Nicholas,” he smirks, “You’re a boss.”
“No games, that’s how it works. They know what they’re getting into. Anything more and you’ve got complications.”
I use the available tongs to slap a few ice cubes in our bucket glasses. Matthew clamps his fingers around a bottle of Grey Goose Vodka, holds it up for my appraisal. I nod and he pours while I snatch up the uncapped Pellegrino bottle as a mixer. Matt squeezes a couple of limes and we’re off and running, figuratively speaking, clinking our toast with the unspoken promise that no matter what happens tonight, we will have a good time.
We always do. He’s been my best friend since we were kids.
Growing up, he lived next door to me. Our parents were friends until they found out that Matt’s father was beating the shit out of him. My father, Jeremy Cocker, was a Marine before I was born so
