I’ll never forget the day he overheard me and my brothers and sister talking about what was happening to Matt.
You don’t discuss those things too loudly when you’re young. You whisper, feeling confused, helpless. We didn’t know how to tell Mom and Dad that their friends weren’t the good parents they believed them to be.
After all hell broke loose, there was a rumor that his family might move. I spent many nights in my bedroom whispering on the phone with Matt while his folks fought in the other room over at his place. We’d stare at each other through the curtains, discussing how to make it possible that he stayed in Atlanta. It was a rough time. The therapy sessions. The silences between the adults in their house and ours.
Finally things settled and he was allowed to come over again, but our parents’ friendships were over for good.
In the Cocker Family we’re not violent.
I take that back, we get in fights, but always with other people outside of our clan. Sometimes you’ve gotta knock a guy to the ground to protect your own, fight for a helpless victim like my buddy Matt, or stand up for something you believe in like never treating a person beneath your status with disrespect. I clocked a guy once for pinching a waitress’s ass in front of me. He probably won’t make that mistake again.
Violence in your own family is just never okay. It’s not what love is.
That one time with my cousins Gabriel and Ben was awful. But guys will fight over a woman, sometimes can’t be helped. It was unfortunate they wanted the same one. That was a bad fucking day in our history. The vibration of it is still felt.
I’m just grateful Matthew’s parents stuck around, didn’t cut and run. Not only because it showed a desire to change and make it right, or that we were able to keep an eye on him and make sure it never happened again, but I got to keep my friend.
He’s like a brother now. My siblings feel the same. Don’t know what life would be like without him.
“Speaking of virgins,” Matt smirks, “How’s your sister?”
“Shut the fuck up,” I chuckle. “You’re such a dick. And we weren’t speaking of virgins, but nice segue.”
Grinning, he takes a hefty gulp of his vodka soda as we head to the backyard by way of a loud, crammed kitchen smelling of meatballs. Billy makes them every party he has.
Not homemade, mind you.
They’re from a package.
Some famous chef made millions off freezing his masterpieces, selling them to grocery stores across America. If it were Billy cooking, he’d fuck it up, party guy that he is.
“Nicholas, Matthew! Where you guys headed? You haven’t even said hey!”
I call back, razzing him, “A chef’s hat, Billy? Little heavy handed, dontcha think?”
He taps it pretty hard, squashing it in the process. “Nice touch, huh?” Chuckling back to his stash of tangy balls, he shouts, “I’ll catch you outside when I get done here!”
Marla smiles as I walk by her. “Hi Nicholas.” Those dark eyes have sex in them every day of the week. Bet she gives the dude at the Arco station the same come-hither smile.
Sliding into her personal space, I smirk, “Looking good. How ya been?”
“Fantastic as always. I loved the bracelet you sent.”
“The what?”
“Oh, wait.” Her eyes slide to the ceiling as she taps her chin with a pretty fingernail. “You didn’t send me a present. You should have.”
“Pretty sure I gave you something last time I saw you.”
“Not something I can keep.”
Leaning in I whisper, “Memories are forever.”
“So are rubies,” she volleys back. I just laugh so she tries another tactic. “I need your cock again, by the way. When are you coming by?”
“You wanna say that a little louder so everyone can hear?”
“You know I’m not quiet.”
I kiss her sultry lips and murmur, “And now Matthew knows it, too.”
He laughs and walks away, a wordless gesture that I’m to follow. He’s giving me an out, which I’ll take. As we leave I promise, “Soon, baby, soon.”
My cousin Lexi passes, surprising me. She reacts, too, and we go in for a hug, her tamed red hair smelling so familiar.
“Hey cuz, what’re you doin’ here?” I ask, squeezing her extra hard for a second before I let her go.
She greets Matthew with a hug, too, answering me while she does, “Just dropped by for a second on my way somewhere. Samantha is with me, of course. She’s in the ladies room.”
Since she and her sister are often with mine, I ask, “Zoe, too?”
Shaking her head on a beautiful smile, Lexi twirls her hair. “She’s with your mom tonight at the Atlanta Woman’s Club. There’s some boring event happening and Zoe wanted to help the floral designer. Always eager to be around plants, as you know.”
Matthew asks, “Weren’t you going to be a florist, Lexi?”
“I dabbled. Not my thing.”
I smirk from behind the glass, “What is your thing exactly? You dabble a lot. I know you don’t like working at that yoga studio.”
On a laugh of agreement she scans the party. “I like working for Paige—she’s awesome—but the place is so fucking boring, Nicholas, you know how it is.”
“No, actually I don’t. How is it?”
Her smile becomes oddly secretive. “I’ll find what I want to do, you just wait.”
“Something to do with a guy named Brad, this ‘thing’ you want to do?”
Emerald eyes flicker, and her white teeth show a little less. “Who’s that? I don’t know anyone named Brad.”
“I dropped by Max’s film-set the other night out of curiosity, Lex.”
“Oh?” Her eyes slide to the party with fake-boredom. “He still working on that?”
“You know he was finishing up after Christmas passed.”
“And?”
“It’s January.” Smirking at her unamused stare, I slide my free hand in my pocket. “Your brother, who loves you, asked if I knew anything. That’s what brothers do—we watch out for our little
