Cam had stopped chewing. Her mouth held the last forkful of food still.
I took a bite of my sandwich, as Camryn forced down her bite. “What the heck? Damn, when you let go, you just go.”
My brow creased, “I didn’t let go. I just told him.” I took a drink, “Now I haven’t heard from him, and I don’t know, maybe I shouldn’t have told him. But I had to. This is stupid. I feel like I’m twelve.”
Cam smiled, “You totally launch a massive bomb. Now you don’t know why he hasn’t called?” Her head shook, “Han, how could he process all of that in a day? Give him a beat. And why do you feel twelve?”
“Why do you call me Han?”
Her shoulders went up, “Well you needed a nickname and Sav didn’t work, nah didn’t work, so I improvised.” She took another bite, “Why twelve?”
“I never did the boy thing in high school. Grandma would tell me stories of when her and grandpa first met, and how they dated and talked and flirted and danced. I never did any of that. I didn’t go out one time.”
“Dude, when your grandparents were young, that was all there was to do. Now, most of us have very little dating experience. Who has time? With school, and homework, and sports, or” she motioned to me, “séances, who has the time? It would totally cut into my three-hour sleep allotment.” She laughed.
“So, what do I do?”
“You give the guy a hot minute. Han, you are not normal” Camryn reached for my hand, “And that is beyond cool. She who can speak to the past, will know the future.”
“What is that from?”
“The book of Camryn.”
I smiled and kept eating. “Cam?”
“Yeah?”
“Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For this.”
Camryn set down her fork. “Why do you think you are such a pariah?”
I shifted uncomfortably in my chair. “Because I’m not normal. I am awkward, and weird and a freak.”
“Han, you wanna know a secret? We all are. Welcome to the circus.”
We finished dinner and walked out. “I’m meeting Darcy and a few others, you wanna join?”
I shook my head. “No, I think I am going to just hang alone for a while.”
“Suit yourself.” Camryn twirled her hand in the air, “Tell them hi!” She winked and walked away, leaving me alone.
I glanced up at the house. Nope, I really wasn’t ready for that right now, so I headed back to my room.
Class started and I sat in my usual place. My knee bounced up and down with anticipation. Was he going to show?
The professor was about to start when Tyler slid in the door. He walked directly to his usual seat.
This was a good sign.
Today was lecture and test prep. It required focus. With only thirty people in the class, it became super obvious if you were not paying attention.
The professor wrapped up, and Tyler sprang from his seat. I sat frozen as he walked out of the room.
I swallowed hard. This rejection felt different than from the kids at school used to feel. This stung pretty deep. I forced my feet to move. This was it. I was done until next week. Time to drive home.
In a haze, I walked back to my room and shoved stuff into a bag. I needed to run right now. The feeling in my chest was too much, too heavy.
Chapter Eight
I tossed the duffle into the cab and sat with the engine running.
I texted Camryn and Leah quickly to say I’d just left campus, and to have a good Thanksgiving.
Inhaling, I put the truck in drive.
The parking lot felt like a forcefield I’d struggled to break through. It stretched, trying to hold on to me as I pushed beyond its boundaries.
By the time I reached the freeway, my chest started to loosen slightly. My hands on the wheel, I allowed my mind to drift to this semester and all the changes.
I started to step into my true self. There was no denying my extra sense. Hiding from it, running from it, didn’t really help. It just pushed the inevitable off for a little while.
But how would I deal with it? If it really was some sort of ability, then there had to be a reason I had it. It couldn’t just be to torture myself.
There had to be more.
Something I could do with it, to be helpful.
If I could run or throw like Camryn, it would be obvious what I was supposed to do with it, but what was I supposed to do with this?
The road and time moved under my tires, and before I knew it, I’d exited the freeway. My grandparents would be so excited to see me. I told them last night; it would be late when I made it home.
I walked into the house to the smell of pie. Dang I loved pie. Something the college never offered on the dessert menu. Not that they would ever be as good as grandmas.
After dinner, I decided to take a walk. Grandma was tired, even though she was through rehab, she just didn’t have the stamina she did before.
My grandparents were getting older, and I hated it. A walk would be a good distraction.
My feet led me to the edge of the old college.
It had finally been bought a couple years ago, and the people had begun restoring it, one building at a time. This left several still in condemned condition. I walked across what used to be the football field and headed to the backside of campus. Technically this was trespassing. But who was going to arrest me for walking?
The chills ran through my body the deeper I walked on campus. For the first time, I noted the similarities
