“I have to get going. I go to college too, but it is a long drive from here. I still need to pack.”
“Why would you go anywhere but here? Don’t you want to be a teacher?”
“A psychologist actually.”
Her face creased again, “But you are a woman. Women aren’t psychologists. They are teachers. Or nurses maybe. What will your husband think?”
I grinned slightly, “I think my husband will be ok with it.”
“I never. A psychologist? Who is going to trust a girl doctor? How can you raise your children and do a job like that? You will have to work with crazy people.”
I laughed, “I think I can handle it.”
Her face grew taunt. “What do you mean by that? Do you think I’m crazy?”
“No, I’m just saying that I can handle it.”
Her face twisted. “No, I don’t think that is what you meant. I think you were laughing at me.” Her hands went to her hips and the energy grew stronger.
I braced myself against the stoop. The stars had started behind my eyes, but I still felt the invisible roots. I just didn’t know how long I could stand.
“I am not crazy. I am not deranged.” Her anger was rolling off her.
I gripped the side of the crumbling bricks. I closed my eyes, trying to focus on breathing. My second exhale, I noted the energy was gone. I opened my eyes and the girl had vanished.
Cautiously, I moved my feet one at a time. My toes were numb, and my feet felt ice cold and slightly disconnected from my body, but I could stand, no dizzy spell. I looked around. No one. Not the girl, or any other ghost seemed to be roaming about. Just me.
Slowly, I began walking back towards home.
My experiment was a success.
I’d made contact and had a conversation. Somehow, I’d kept my feet planted firmly on the ground. My pace quickened with excitement.
Maybe, just maybe I could control this. Maybe it no longer had to control me.
Chapter Nine
The drive flew by. Before I knew it, I was back in classes facing finals of my first semester of college head on. Thanksgiving break gave me strength. I felt more prepared for tests and left them deciding I may make it through without failing miserably.
Tyler hadn’t talked to me. I hadn’t really gone out of my way to try and connect with him, but I told myself it was because I was being respectful of his need for space. In truth, I didn’t want to hear his rejection. This way, I could simply blame his distance on his processing time rather than he just didn’t want anything to do with me anymore.
It was after the Western Civ final that I jumped out of my skin.
“The man, does he say anything?” Tyler’s words were low, but close to my ear. I tensed, and jerked my body backwards, forcing myself directly into Tyler’s chest. His arms instinctively wrapped around me to keep me from falling. The electricity between us bounced off my skin. My breath caught in my throat as I tried to right myself. “Sorry. You ok?”
I stared at him, expressing none of the insane emotions bouncing in my mind. “Um, hi.”
“Hi. Sorry.”
Apologizing. Ok, this is new.
Tyler rocked back on his back foot, finally feeling the closeness that stood between us. The space allowed us both to breathe normally. Tyler exhaled slowly. “Sorry, let’s try this again. Hi, how are you?”
I still stared at him blankly. “No.”
“Wait, what? I mean, oh.” He shook his head, his rebeliant curl escaped his ballcap. “Right. Sorry.” He stepped back in retreat.
My brow creased. Where was he going? Mentally, I caught up with our interaction, seeing it from his side. “Wait, no he doesn’t.” Tyler paused, and I added, “But others have.”
He turned back towards me. “You busy right now?”
He had to know my schedule by now, I had his easily memorized. “Nope.”
“You wanna talk?”
I nodded and followed him to the auditorium building. Silently, we made our way down to the sofas in the basement. I sat across from him, as I had that fateful day. My hands casually folded on my lap. This time I didn’t feel the need to be so fearful. This time, I knew what I saw wasn’t going away, and knew it was a part of me. Those closest would have to learn to be ok with that.
He pulled his hat from his head, running his hands through his hair. I watched his fingers scatter the waves and tousle the already messy hair. The messy perfect hair. I met his eyes, blushing in realization that I was still fixated on his hair.
“Savannah, I am sorry I haven’t reached out. I know it isn’t an excuse, but this has been a lot to process. I mean, I’m sure that sounds strange, but I haven’t seen my grandpa since I was twelve. We were going to the ball game the next day. He had a heart attack and was gone. He was my hero. He taught me to love baseball, not just play it. Taught me the lessons on the diamond were way more than a game. Losing him sucked-bad. I think of him every time I step on the field.” He refocused his eyes onto my face. “Then, to hear this–that you can see him, that he is still here, and I’m too weak to see him, well-it really sucks.”
My smile surprised him. “Tyler, you’re weak because you are normal? You are not a freak, and see crazy things that half the world doesn’t even believe in?” I sat forward on my knees.