We work in silence making the tea. I grab the tin of biscuits off the kitchen counter before we make our way into the front room again, preparing myself for the conversation I knew was coming “So…. you don’t have to tell me anything until you are ready, but I do have some questions. I want you to just nod or shake your head if you can’t answer, okay?” Sherri says in a soothing tone, I gulp and nod at her, knowing she needs to ask this “Ok, my first question is, Are you okay? Like really ok?” she asks me. My eyes well up as I shake my head “Was your mum there?” she asks, her own eyes welling up. I nod as tears fall down my face “Did she try to help you?” she asks me. I manage a small shake of my head and shut my eyes, trying to force the pain back to its pit in my stomach “Where you a virgin?” she says quietly. I guess she may have assumed me and Reid had sex when we were together before, I never told her we hadn’t as I thought it would make me seem like such a loser. All my friends including Sherri lost their virginity when they were barely 16. I nod my head as a sob breaks free, she wraps her arms around me as I let out my pain “Oh god Beck’s. I’m so sorry” Your first time is supposed to be something you will always remember, mine is something I hope I one day forget “Do you feel safe here? Staying in Reid’s bed?” she asks wiping her face, “I do. I know maybe I shouldn’t but he’s been…. helping erase the memories” I say to her in a shaky voice, she nods at my answer smiling sadly “I’m glad you have him, he loves you so much, so I know you’re safe here… I just had to be sure” she says pulling me into her arms. We sit there in silence while she takes in my admissions “Know that I am here for you completely. I even can’t begin to imagine what you’ve been through. But I will help you with whatever you need to heal” she says wiping a tear from my cheek “Thanks Sherri. I don’t know what I’d do without you” finishing our tea, I feel so much lighter now I’ve spoken to her. Knowing I’ve got her to lean on if I need to makes me feel incredibly lucky. I really couldn’t ask for a better best friend.
Chapter Fourteen
The next day I get up at the same time as Reid, exited that I’m finally teaching my dance classes again today. I’m so grateful that Hayley and Reid let me stay here, but I’m going mad sitting in this house. Filling Reid in on the Detectives visit yesterday when he got I from work, he could see I was exhausted. He ended up ordering in Chinese for us to eat in bed, I could have kissed him all over when he suggested it, to be honest I did a little. He did end up letting me have my own space last night. He still gave me a kiss goodnight and we snuggled, but I think he knew that after the two nights previous when we became intimate again, that I needed a little time to decompress.
Putting on my usual Yoga pants, sports bra and off the shoulder t-shirt, I finally feel a bit more like Becca. Hayley was right, there are still parts of the old me I need to put together. It’s the empty bits that are left I fear though “What time will you be home?” Reid says as we lace up our shoes “I’ve only got one class that ends at 10am, but I may stay to dance a little” I say as I put on my jacket “Make sure someone walks you out to your car. If no one can call me. Lock your car doors and come straight back” he tells me concern on his face “I’ll be fine Reid. I have the protection order and Nancy isn’t letting me out of her sight, she told you as much on the phone” I huff, yes… he called my boss, it was mortifying. I know he’s coming from a place of love, but it feels like I’m being treating like a child “Ok. I’m just worried about you, it’s not been long since you came out of hospital. Are you sure you should be dancing so soon?” he questions. I knew this was coming, no one thinks I should go back to work so soon. What they don’t realise is I need dancing to help me pull through this, it’s always been my outlet. I won’t let Gary have this as well “I am dancing today. Your mum agrees I should get back to normal, so that’s what I’m trying to do” I huff out getting frustrated. Grabbing my
