Using my hand, I apply a little pressure as I rub up and down his length, rubbing my thumb over the top when I reach the end. I open my jaw as much as I can I as I take him in my mouth, he gasps loudly and puts a hand on the side of my face “Oh god Beck’s. I won’t last if you do that” he says with a grunt. Smiling around his cock, I use my mouth to work him up and down until my jaw aches. Running my tongue up the length of him, he lets out a string of f bombs. I smile when I release him, standing up I look into his eyes. He’s barely containing himself, still need to push him over the edge. Wiping the corner of my mouth with my thumb, I put it in my mouth, licking off the taste of him. This seems to be his undoing as he picks me up by my thighs, Bingo!
Wrapping my arms round his neck, he backs us up against the shower wall “I’m losing control baby and I don’t want to do anything you’re not ready for” he tells me as he kisses my neck “Maybe I am ready for it” I tell him, and that’s the truth, this man sets me on fire, I know I can trust him with this. if I feel it’s too much I know he will stop, I don’t think it’s going to be a problem though, I’m so turned on that if he doesn’t do this, I’ll probably be finishing myself off in this shower.
“You sure?” he asks as he looks into my eyes “I’m sure Reid. I’m ready” I tell him. I’ve been waiting for this with Reid since I knew what sex was, I’m not going to let my attack take this away from me too. His hand comes down to my centre and he feels how ready I am for him “Damn baby you’re soaked” he says as he inserts a finger inside me “I’ll go really slow. If you need me to stop just tell me okay?” he asks as he presses his forehead on mine. Nodding I feel him line up with my entrance, I shut my eyes as I wait for him to move “Eyes open baby. I need you to see it’s me” he says huskily. My eyes fly open and focus on his, I see so much love in them that I know this is the right decision. Ever so slowly he starts pushing forward making me suck in air. It’s such a strange sensation, when I was attacked, all I felt was pain, shame, disgust. but with Reid I feel loved, safe and ……. full.
Keeping my eyes on his, he slowly pushes himself all the way in “Are you okay” he says as he takes deep breaths. Nodding I kiss him, trying to tell him how okay I am. He starts to thrust in and out of me at a lazy rhythm “Please go faster” I pant out. Finally picking up speed, he touches something inside of me that feels so good “Oh my god, what is that!” I moan. “That” “is” “Your G spot” he says in between thrusts, Why haven’t we don’t this before! I start to see stars as feel my orgasm coming “Oh god Reiiiiiiid” I scream as I clench his dick painfully hard as my orgasm takes hold. Two more forceful thrusts later I feel him spill into my body on a grunt. Placing his hand. on the wall behind me to hold himself up as he cradles me with the other.
We stay there for a while catching our breaths as the water cascades over our bodies. Opening my eyes, I look up at him, he smiles and kisses me “I love you” he tells me “Thank you for trusting me” he kisses me as he pulls out slowly making me wince “You’re sore?” he says as he puts my shaky legs down “A little, but I expected that” I say on a smile. That was meant to be my first time, the thought makes my eyes water, when will I ever get past this.
I turn to the water so he can’t see me and start wetting my hair “I’m going to get changed okay. I’ll go get you a t-shirt to put on” he says as he steps out the shower “Ok” I say on a croak hoping he can’t hear the emotion in my voice. I let the tears fall when he leaves the bathroom, letting them swirl away with the water. You never forget your first time, I just wish that was it.
Chapter Fifteen
I try my best to pull myself together before Reid returns, taking my time in the shower, washing my hair and body, anything to take my mind off of my thoughts. Shutting off the water, I grab a towel from the rack and wrap myself up in it. I feel…different, now my mind is a little clearer, I start to try and think of the positives. It may not have been my first time, but I was my first time with Reid. For him to still love my body, to love me, it makes me feel a little better about everything. I know I need to talk to him about all the thoughts swirling round in my head, we can’t move forward until I do.
Walking out to the bedroom, I find him rifling through his draws, he looks and gives me a megawatt smile when he sees me. God damn this man, I was having a mini break down in the bathroom, and all he has to do is smile like that
