Laying on the bed in the doctor’s room, he squirts some clear jelly on the ultrasound want “Now normally we would use the internal wand to scan this early on. But that is very intrusive so we will stick to using the one on your belly” he tells me with a warm smile. Holding Hayley’s hand, she squeezes me for encouragement. In the moment, she was the only one I wanted to call. She’s always been like a surrogate mum to me, and with her having gone through this before, she knows exactly how I am feeling right now. Passing the wand over my stomach, I try not to tense up at the thought of him being so close. The doctor clicks buttons to get a clearer picture of my womb “There, perfect size for around 3-4 weeks. We will be able to get more accurate dates as the baby grows, but conception seems to be either 4 or 5 weeks ago” oh god, me and Reid slept together not long after I was attacked. I have no idea who the father of my baby is, it could be Reid or it could be….. “We will want to do a follow up appointment in 2 weeks’ time, in the meantime there are options, if you feel okay to talk about them now, we can” he asks giving me paper towels to clean myself up. Nodding at him, we move back over to his desk. “Ok so option one is termination, as you are in the early stages it would just be a couple of tablets to do this. Option 2 is adoption and Option 3 is to carry on the pregnancy as normal” he says clasping his hands together “Take some time to think about it, talk with family and let me know a decision. For now, I’m going to set you an appointment with a midwife in two weeks’ time for a check-up, and I’ll prescribe you some folic acid to take until you decide what you want to do” he says passing me the prescription. I feel completely numb, how am I going to tell Reid.. How am I going to raise a baby. Hayley leads me out the surgery, thanking the doctor on the way out, all the while I feel like falling apart. Me and Reid had only spoken about the future this morning, now I’m pregnant, and it might not even be his child.
“You need to tell him” Hayley says driving back home, she called Asher and asked him if he can bring my car back later, working nearby he luckily didn’t have to go far “I don’t know how” I whisper “What if the baby is…” I choke, the baby could be his child… or possibly his brother “You don’t know that. He needs to know what’s happening Becca” she says reaching over to squeeze my shaking leg. She’s right, I promised him I wouldn’t lie to him again, we need to make a decision together. “I’ll ask him to come home” I tell her. He finishes in an hour anyway, but if I don’t tell him soon, I may bottle it. Pulling out my phone I pull up the messaging app
Me: Can you come home
It’s all I can manage to type through blurry eyes, feeling my phone vibrate, I see an incoming call from Reid. Hitting the answer button, I put it to my ear “Baby, what’s wrong?” he rushes out, it sounds like he’s running “I just need you to come home, I have to talk to you okay?” I tell him, voice shaky “Are you crying? What’s happened?” I hear a car door shut and I take a breath knowing he’s coming to me “Just…. come home”.
Sitting on Reid’s bed waiting for him, I start rifling through the leaflets the doctor gave me. I can’t look at the abortion one so I put it back in my bag, don’t want to think about that right now. Picking up the one about adoption, I start flicking through it. Hearing a car pull up no more than 5 minutes later, I stuff the leaflets in my bag so he doesn’t see them. Sitting up I bite my nail as I wait for him to come up, hearing a noise that sounds like a rhino coming up the stairs, Reid burst through the door “Beck’s” he says as he sighs with relief “What’s happened?” he looks frazzled, he’s still in his overalls from work, his hands covered in oil as he runs them through his hair. I pat the bed asking him to sit down, you can do this… “I felt sick this morning. So, I rang the doctor and went in to see them” I tell him looking at the floor, I can’t see the disappointment on his face when I tell him “I’m.. I’m pregnant Reid” I whisper, I sit there wringing my hands
