“I understand perfectly,” he said acidly.
Bitterness welled inside him. It was his marriage all over again. Only this time, the betrayal cut deeper, for his love was deeper. The shock of learning that Arabella had been carrying another man’s child—that she had died from taking a drug during her pregnancy—paled in comparison to that of discovering that his Livy, whom he’d believed to be his soul mate, was just another deceptive bitch. How could he be such a damned fool again? How had he let himself believe that a man like him was worthy of happiness?
Fury hardened his heart and his tone. “You’ve been playing me for a dupe this entire time, and it is my own fault for letting you do it.”
“I didn’t want to lie to you, but I was scared to tell the truth,” Livy whispered. “Please forgive me.”
Tears were trickling down her cheeks, and he hated that his first instinct was to wipe them away. To soothe and protect his little queen…who was obviously capable of taking care of herself. Who had no qualms about doing whatever the hell she wanted.
“I could forgive you most things but not this,” he said flatly.
She took a step toward him, her hands outstretched. “You cannot mean that…”
“Do you remember what I said to you after I took you to my bed?” The memory of that night, once a cherished gift, now felt like a blade jammed between his shoulder blades. “What I told you I expected from marriage?”
Rivulets ran down her cheeks. “You said you expected my loyalty, honesty, and obedience. But while I may have deceived you about my work, I never lied to you about my feelings. My love is true and real—”
“I don’t want to hear another word about your love,” he clipped out. “I am done with it.”
“D-done?” she asked, her voice cracking.
“I would be done with you, too, if it were not for my honor. I took your virginity, and I will pay the price for it.” Resentment frothed to the surface, covering the agonizing undertow. “We will be married, Olivia, and when you are my wife, there will be no more of this investigating nonsense. This time around, I will be the master of my own house, and you will do as you are told—even if I have to keep you under lock and key.”
Her eyes were wide, her features frozen in shock.
Good, he thought with vicious satisfaction. Let her see that I mean business. Let her know that I will not be played for a fool again.
“Charlie was right,” she said in a whisper. “I just didn’t want to believe her.”
What rubbish was Livy spouting now? Ben’s temples were throbbing, and a queasy feeling rocked his gut, as if he might disgrace himself again. It hurt to think, to feel…he wanted her gone. He didn’t need a witness to his pathetic misery.
“What was Lady Fayne right about?” he said curtly.
Livy raised her gaze, and the resignation in her eyes cut him to the quick.
“She said the cost of love would be my freedom. I didn’t believe her. I defended you, told her you were different from other men, that you understood me.” Her voice trembled. “I told her you would not make me choose between my love for you and my calling, yet here you are, issuing me an ultimatum.”
His hackles rose. She had the gall to accuse him of being unreasonable when she’d been deceiving him for the duration of their affair?
“Stop twisting things around,” he said through gritted teeth. “I’m not giving you an ultimatum; I am telling you the way things are going to be. When you are my wife, you will do as I goddamned say. Those are the terms.”
“If those are the terms,” she said with vibrating emotion, “then I will not marry you.”
Her words plowed into him like a fist. Not once had Livy wavered in her desire to be with him. Since the outset, she had been steadfast in her so-called love for him, in her certainty that they were meant to be together. Of course, she had been lying the whole time, he thought savagely, so who knew if her feelings were genuine?
Now that he’d uncovered her web of deception and was trying to set things right, to sort through the rubble she’d made of their relationship, she was trying to force his hand yet again. Unluckily for her, his marriage to Arabella had made him an expert in dealing with this kind of manipulation, and he wasn’t about to back down.
“That is, of course, your choice,” he said coldly. “If you turn down my offer, I will not ask again. I mean it, Olivia.”
Her eyes glimmered with pain, but her chin didn’t waver from its obstinate angle.
“You saved my life once,” she said, her voice choppy, “and I vowed to myself that I would return the favor. After last night, I have paid my debt.”
“You never owed me anything,” he snapped.
She gave a tight nod. “Good-bye, then.”
He curled his hands as she exited the room, leaving him alone.
The way he’d always been.
Walking away from Ben was the hardest thing Livy had ever done.
It was not her habit to retreat from anything. To give up. Yet now even she had to admit defeat.
She managed to keep her composure until the carriage came round. She had to look away from the sympathy glinting in Hawker’s exposed eye for fear that she would break down. When he handed her up into the carriage, she saw that Charlie had come.
She sat stiffly beside her mentor.
Charlie studied her with calm
