I knew Simon was just teasing, but it was closer to the truth of things than I wanted him to be.
Feeling nervous, I laughed it off, going to sit down on the couch. "There's a lot you don't know about me," I said, matching his teasing with what I hoped was a casual tone. "I could be a secret billionaire."
"That would actually make my life so much easier, assuming you were looking for things to do with your gobs of money other than swimming in it."
"You never know," I said, settling in. But that did get me thinking. Even if I did take Killian's advice and offer to invest in Simon's business once I had the money from our marriage, how the hell was I going to explain that?
I still had no idea how I was going to come clean to my friends and family about the sudden windfall of money, and I only had half a year left to come up with something that was believable but not the truth.
Some people wouldn't care, I knew that. They'd tell me that being married to some rich guy for a year was hardly that embarrassing, especially when it resulted in getting that much money, but my parents would care, and they would look down on me for it.
I didn't know if I was more embarrassed by what I'd done for the money or by how people were going to feel about it, but either way, I needed a plan.
Simon peered at me for a second, and I tried not to squirm under his gaze. "We're friends, right? You'd tell me if you were a secret billionaire, right?" He was still laughing, but I didn't know him well enough to know if he was kidding or not.
I settled for rolling my eyes. "It was a joke, Simon. Just start the movie."
He snorted and did so, settling back against the couch as we watched.
My mind wasn't really on the movie, even though I knew I liked this one. Watching the husband and wife find out they were both secret agents who were supposed to kill each other was always entertaining, but I was too deep in my head to focus that much.
For some reason, I felt guilty for being there.
I felt like I was lying to Simon for not telling him I was married, even though it wasn't a real marriage, and even though Simon and I were just friends.
I hadn't elaborated with Killian either, about what I was doing that night, even though it shouldn't have mattered because we could each see whoever we wanted, and he had Eve to occupy him when I was busy.
No one was getting hurt here, but I still felt like I was doing something wrong.
God, the sooner this year was over, the better. I wanted my life back. I wanted to be able to have friends and explore my feelings without having to think about whether it was fair or not.
I glanced over at Simon, and he was watching the movie eagerly, eyes bright while the colors and lights from the TV played across his handsome face.
He wasn't rich like Killian, and he didn't have reach and influence and a rolodex full of other important rich people he could call up at the drop of a hat, but he was steady.
He was normal and fun and interesting, and we actually had things in common. We could talk about art or music or anything, really. Bad retail jobs we'd had. Customers who'd frustrated us. Our parents and growing up in the same small town and knowing most of the same people.
We seemed to never stop talking when we were together, and it was easy and enjoyable.
I enjoyed time with Killian too, usually, but that was different. I didn't know if it was just that we were too different as people, or if the contract put constraints on things because I couldn't forget it existed, but we just...didn't click the way Simon and I did. In that organic way that felt exciting and new and made me want to see what else there was to find out.
Of course, I'd meet him when I was already involved in something with someone else. It couldn't have been when I was free to choose him, because apparently that wasn't how my life worked.
Meeting Killian when I did definitely saved my ass in more ways than one, but it was at the cost of other things that I wanted.
I supposed I was being selfish. No one could have everything they wanted when it came down to it, and maybe, in six months, when things were over with Killian, I could come back here, and Simon would still be single and we could see where it went.
Assuming he even wanted anything to do with me in the first place. Maybe he just wanted a friend. Maybe I was getting myself worked up over nothing.
I kept my sigh internal, not wanting to alert Simon to my inner conflict while we were supposed to be just watching movies and relaxing.
He didn't know I was secretly worked up about all of this, and I didn't want him to.
When he glanced over at me, I forced a smile, leaning back further against the couch, trying to seem like I was relaxed and having a good time.
"I haven't seen this movie in years," he said, glancing back at the screen. "I had such a crush on Angelina Jolie when I was a teenager."
"You and every teenage boy in the world," I pointed out, laughing a little.
"Oh, like you weren't into Brad Pitt back then?"
"I wasn't," I said. "I always thought he was just a little too pretty, you know? Too polished and put together."
"So, you like them rough around the edges?" He eyed me for a second, raising
