His troubled eyes met hers. “And I know that’s bad enough, but I can assure you that there hasn’t been any sex or anything remotely close to it with anyone except you since we got back together years ago before we married. Kit, it will always be that way.”
He sighed and shook his head, looking away. “I continued to party even harder after that incident. I felt guilty. I was ashamed I let it get that far. And I was able to keep things together and resist the blow for a bit, but my drinking got out of control. Then the blow crept back in. A line here, a bump there and that turned into more.”
His looked remorseful as he stared into her eyes. “Then you got shot. With that, I spiraled out again. I feel like telling you sorry is not enough, Kit. You’re the love of my life. I’ve been a horrible husband to you. I want to make this right. I don’t know how yet, but I promise you, I will.”
His eyes welled up with tears again, prompting Kit to start crying. She could see the vulnerability and pain in his eyes. A myriad of emotions overtook her. She felt unsettled about his account with the groupie, but relieved it wasn’t what she thought. She couldn’t dismiss her intense disappointment he had fallen into the throws of a full blown addiction again without confiding in her about it until now.
Numbness took over and the tears stopped. She didn’t even know how to begin to process this. She suddenly felt relieved he would be gone for the next three and a half months. She needed the time to figure out her next steps.
She came to the sad realization that her marriage was in shambles. She didn’t blame it all on him, she knew she could have approached certain situations differently. Still, as he stood there before her looking like a shell of a man, vulnerable, raw, crying like a baby, she felt a deep love for him that surprised her. Her compassionate heart couldn’t stand seeing him suffer. She pulled him to her and held him as they cried together.
He buried his head in the crick of her neck and chanted his apologies over and over again, muffled. She stroked his back and kissed him.
He pulled back and sniffled. “I don’t deserve you.”
She stared at him, unable to mask the hurt in her eyes. She knew he was right, yet she couldn’t form the words verbally to agree with him. She felt herself pull back emotionally and put up a front to keep herself from completely crumbling in his presence.
He sensed the shift immediately and tilted his head. “Kit, please say something. How do we fix this?”
She sighed and struggled to keep her voice from trembling and blowing her cover of just how disheartened she was.
She spoke evenly. “We don’t. Sully, I got shot a little over two weeks ago. Three people almost lost their lives in that office right around the corner, including me. I was bleeding out on that floor in that office over there you so thoughtlessly held a meeting in today.”
She shook her head in disbelief. “You really don’t get it. And I’m sick of giving you a hall pass. At this point, I think it’s best if we separate personally and professionally. I don’t think this marriage is working anymore for either of us. Clearly our working relationship isn’t gelling either. I’ll have my resignation letter out to Spencer later today. You can continue on as manager or whoever. My contract term is up anyway and we hadn’t had a chance to discuss with the band if extending it was in the best interest for everyone. It isn’t. I can see that now. And this house… this fucking house!”
She threw her hands in the air, feeling frustrated. She let out a defeated sigh. “I want nothing to do with it anymore. Too many memories. Too many fucking ghosts. I want to lease it out. Someone else can live here.”
He interjected, his steel-blue eyes desperate. “But Kit, our studio is here. A studio where we made multi-platinum Grammy award winning records. This is our home and it’s been our home for the last six years.”
Her green eyes narrowed ominously. “Do you really think I want to live or work here after what happened to me? Jesus, Sully! Wake the fuck up!” She swallowed hard before continuing. “I think a separation is the best thing for us right now. I need some time… to heal… to get things straight… for me, ‘cuz clearly we are not on the same page.”
Feeling tremendously vulnerable and exposed, she grappled to come up with a way of shutting down the conversation quickly before he could pose a rebuttal. She met his eyes and pointed at him, retorting flatly, “And you have a tour to finish.”
His eyes widened and panic enveloped him as he took in the gravity of her words. He searched her eyes and knew she meant it. She wasn’t playing around anymore. This wasn’t a threat, it was a reality. He had pushed her too far this time.
Desperate to win her reconsideration, he dropped to one knee and grabbed her hand, tears flooding his eyes again. “No, no, no. Kit, please, no. I’m so sorry. I love you. Please… no.”
He closed his eyes and shook his head, clinging to her as he leaned forward and rested his cheek on her hand, mumbling softly. “I’m so sorry. Please, no.”
Although rage and deep hurt were swirling inside of her like a destructive cyclone, she wasn’t enjoying seeing Sully’s heart break in front of her. She
