We got all the deli meats and cheese needed for sandwiches for the week and moved onto the meat section. Reagan grabbed steaks, roast, and chicken. She was muttering to herself quietly as we went making sure everything on her list was picked up, sticky fingers grabbing additional odds and ends along the way to the checkout. We unloaded everything onto the register as I walked down to the end to wait.
Sadie Lou was bagging up our groceries and I couldn’t believe how grown up she’d gotten since the last time I saw her. She was no longer the clumsy, chunky girl from before. No, she was turning into a beautiful young lady. Seeing her made me think about everything else that I had missed in the years since I’d isolated myself from the world and my family. Guilt flamed my face and I had to turn away.
“Hey Sadie Lou, how have you been?”
“Hello, Mrs. Peterson, how are you?!”
“It’d be better if you didn’t call me Mrs. Peterson. Just Cassidy is fine with me.”
“Sorry, Cassidy. Mama always taught me to be respectful of people older than me.” I smiled and shook my head.
She chuckled at my response, “I’m not that much older than you, Sadie Lou. I didn’t know you were working here now.”
Bagging up the groceries, she looked over at me. “Yeah, I work here on and off in the summers and some evenings. I’m in high school these days.”
I nodded. “I see. Have a college picked out already, do ya?”
“Yes, ma’am. I plan on going to West Virginia University. I wanna be a Mountaineer.”
I raised an eyebrow at her. “So, you fancy burning couches, do you? I’d pick a more respectable school like Marshall if you want to get a good education and not get arrested for burning things.”
She scoffed. I knew I wouldn’t be changing her mind, but at least she’d be sure to think about it.
“Well, good luck with everything.” Reagan finished paying and we turned to leave, but not before I heard a familiar voice from my past.
“We gonna be seeing you for the fireworks display this time next week, Cassidy Mae?” I turned to see my high school archnemesis, Tara, the Paris to my Rory before they actually became friends in Gilmore Girls. Mean as a snake with the smile of a thousand whip lashes. She was wicked. Guess that hadn’t changed. Her blonde hair was perfectly coiffed, makeup smeared on like a hooker, clothes skin tight. Maybe I was being harsh, but I hated her after what she did in high school. Tucker cheated with her on me. Both of them were no good lying, cheating whores in my opinion.
Wonder whose husband she’s sleeping with now?
“I don’t know Tara… are you planning on setting anything on fire this year? Like, oh I don’t know… your feet?” She skulked and turned around. I knew that one would cut deep. She’d almost set herself on fire one year playing with sparklers. Dumb enough to burn herself when she dropped it on her foot. She sure wasn’t the smartest in school.
She huffed. “Glad to see big city life hasn’t changed you at all.”
“I’m glad too.” Rea grabbed me by the arm, hinting that it was time to leave. I hated Tara. She was the absolute worst.
We’d gotten the groceries packed into her backseat and were on the way back to the house Reagan started on me again. “So, what’s going on with Beau?”
“Nothing can happen with Beau, Rea. I’ve got too much crap going on to bring him into the mix.”
“Don’t get mad at me for saying this, but that man is in love with you. He has been since we were kids. Do you really want to lose the best thing that could ever happen to you over a little bit of fear?”
A sense of shock filled me. I knew it’d been a while, but since we were kids? I bit back my thoughts and stood tall. “I’m not afraid of Beau. I’m afraid for Beau. He doesn’t deserve my mess.”
“That’s hogwash and you know it, Cassidy Mae.”
I wouldn’t make eye contact with her. I knew it was garbage as soon as it’d fallen from my lips, but I wasn’t about to give her the pleasure of being right. When I remained silent, she continued.
“Beau won’t let anything happen to you. You walk away now you’re breaking both of your hearts. Do you really want to break that man’s heart before you even give him a chance to earn yours?”
“He already has a part of mine, Rea. That’s the problem.”
“Well, I don’t see why you don’t just give him a chance to make you happy.”
“Because I don’t think that’s possible with everything I’ve been through.”
“Well then at least talk to him because he feels like he drove you away for telling ya how he felt. If you can’t love him, Cassidy Mae, just be friends with him. He’s hurting thinking he damaged your friendship.”
My heart broke thinking Beau really felt like this because of me. “Why didn’t he say anything?”
Her eyes widened with mock shock. “Maybe because, oh I don’t know, you’ve been avoiding him.”
Reagan was right. I had been avoiding him. “I’ll talk to him when we get home.”
“Good.”
It’d been almost a week since I’d talked to Cassidy Mae. I was kicking myself for telling her how I felt. I knew she wasn’t ready and I’d gone and told her anyhow.
Reagan had taken her to the grocery store today with the promise that she’d try and talk Cassidy into at least talking to me again and making her understand that I had no intention of ever hurting her feelings or making her do anything she didn’t want to do.
I sat on my haystack on the edge of the barn and watched them carrying bags into the house. Every bone in my body ached to rush over and help them, like the gentleman I was, but I
