Jessica was a good baby and especially happy when her mother was in the room.
Debbie was afraid Jessica would think Alyssa was her mother rather than Gini, but as she grew older, Debbie could see the closeness between the two, even though neither of them ever spoke words to confirm it.
“Come on, Jessie, it’s time for your nap,” Alyssa said walking toward the toddler.
The little girl abruptly said “No” and snuggled in closer to Gini. Then suddenly she sat up and looked at her mother. Gini had her eyes open. Jessica turned and put up her hands to Alyssa to help her out of the chair.
“Thank you, Jessica, for being such a good girl,” Alyssa said, smiling.
“Listen, pumpkin, your mama is going to bed too.” Debbie knelt in front of Gini’s recliner and brushed down her face. “Everybody could use a nap.”
Jessica constantly looked at her mama on her way out of the room.
Never any words, but definitely a communication.
They’d lived in their new house for nearly a year and it still had no furniture to speak of. Debbie sat on a folding chair near the front window in her room. She stared at the gentle breeze blowing the willow tree. Its branches flew around so gracefully. She was sad—tired. Will there ever be happiness in our lives again? she thought. If Jessica wasn’t there—she just couldn’t imagine how dreadful it would be.
Micky had just texted her that she wanted to come see Debbie. Debbie declined as she had in the past. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to see her and be wrapped in her arms, it was that she didn’t have time. This was so different than when she was with Gini before. Then, it was mostly just the two of them. Now, there was Alyssa and Robert and Jessica, all of whom Debbie felt she had to take care of. She had to make sure the household functioned so they all could get through each day. It was too much to have Micky there, too, having to be attentive to her so she felt welcome. Debbie had always felt that insecure feeling when she was with Micky, like she had to prove she was good enough for her. And the one time when Micky just showed up, the whole house was in chaos with Jessica teething and cranky. Gini was irritable—probably because Jessie was crying—and Alyssa had cramps and kept going to lie down. No, Debbie couldn’t take on one more thing.
And once again, Lisa was there to take up some of the slack. She was never asked to do anything; she just showed up to help. She was so knowledgeable about kids. Debbie smiled. It was the right decision for Lisa to go to Lenny. He made Lisa’s life complete.
It took Gini a long time to figure out where she was. Nothing looked familiar to her; only Debbie and Robert were clear in her mind. The space around her had little furniture. Then one day when Debbie took her for a walk in her wheelchair, she heard a water fountain and birds singing. A vivid picture of ducks sitting in a pond appeared in her head, but as usual it disappeared without clarification.
The more time passed with Gini showing no improvement and little to no response to any of the therapies Debbie put her through daily, the more introverted Robert became. Debbie watched a piece of him slowly die inside.
John and Maggie were constantly trying to help him, but he refused to talk to them about Gini’s condition.
Aaron, her old physical therapist, finally got Gini to put her feet to the ground. A significant achievement in Debbie’s eyes. But it didn’t sway Robert.
Two days after Jessica took her first steps, Gini got up and walked with Debbie. Debbie was extremely pleased, but even though Gini could walk, for months she was like a zombie being led through the house, spoon-fed, and taken care of 100 percent of the time.
None of it impressed Robert. What kind of life was that for his beautiful wife?
Jessica’s first clear word was “Dada.” She’d fling herself into his lap, saying, “Dada, Dada,” over and over. He’d grab her up and raise her above his head or hug her close. That was the only time Debbie ever saw happiness in Robert. Often, he’d take his daughter for long walks. Debbie knew it was his escape into a world where he didn’t have to think about what was happening to Gini.
Jessica was very playful, and it took no time for all of them to realize how intelligent she was. Her energy abounded with Alyssa, but she was always very gentle to Gini, carefully climbing up to sit by her and often falling asleep in Gini’s lap as she slept. It took no time before she called her “Mama.”
Debbie bought a variety of children’s games and they would play for hours. Debbie was impressed that a toddler could have such a long attention span. Robert played some, but he’d rather sit with Gini in his arms and describe what Debbie and Jessica were doing and how Jessie mostly won, just like Gini had done at braille cards. Each time he’d say braille cards, Gini got a vision of blank white paper.
After Gini had been home six months, Robert insisted she sleep in their bed together at night. He wanted to hold her and let
