A vision that was constantly in Gini’s head was of her flying, with Robert holding her tight.
One day Micky called. “Debbie, I want to see you, just you. Please, let me take you to dinner.”
“No, I told you I can’t leave Gini.”
“Why not? I think she’ll be fine with her husband. He is a doctor. It has been months since we’ve been alone together.”
“Come by the house. I can be with both you and Gini.”
“Debbie, I’ve tried that. You don’t even know I’m there.”
Debbie saw Robert sobbing out on the patio.
“I have to go.” She hung up abruptly and went out to comfort him.
Micky gave a loud sigh. She had lost Debbie to Gini. She knew as long as Gini was in her condition, Debbie was not going to let Micky into her life. Gini was the most important person to Debbie—that would never change.
Robert turned his back to Debbie.
“Robert, let me help you.”
“I’m fine. Please leave me alone.”
She went to him and rubbed on his back.
He sat in one of the chairs and buried his face in his hands and wept. She pulled another chair over closer to him.
“Debbie,” he said, through his tears. “I don’t want to have feelings anymore. Why did I fall in love and unleash my emotions? It was so much better when I didn’t care.” His voice hopped as he spoke.
“Robert, you have always cared. You are wonderful with your patients.”
“I fixed them up and sent them on their way, never thinking of most of them again. I did my job, Debbie. That’s all I did, my job.”
She soothed his back again.
“She made me care, she made me love, she made me emotional. I hate emotions, I just hate them.”
He didn’t like losing control. He’d never had that problem until the first time he and Gini made love. It was like all the doors holding his feelings were flung open wide. He wanted them closed—closed and locked tight, never to open again.
“Robert, that’s what a loving relationship is, letting your guard down and letting that someone into your heart. You and Gini are truly in love and see all sides of each other. Don’t be afraid of your emotions. You know, Gini still loves you.”
He turned and looked at her. “How could I possibly know that? She can’t do one thing, not one thing.”
“She’s going to get better. I know she is.”
“Debbie!” he almost shouted. “It’s been almost two years. Tell me when, just tell me when she’s going to be my Gini again. Please, tell me!” He buried his face again and cried out of control.
There was nothing she could do to comfort him. And in truth, she was not too far behind him in her thoughts. But she refused to give up. Seeing Gini with Jessica and feeling their connection told Debbie Gini would come back to them.
Robert wanted Jessica to know her mother as he did. It wasn’t fair that she was being deprived of her mother’s love just because of some stupid virus that none of them could have stopped. And moreover, he wanted Gini to be in her daughter’s life. To laugh with her, play with her, and show her incredible love. How they both had looked forward to having a family! And now... He just wanted her to talk to him, have discussions on how they should teach Jessica, how they should raise her. That’s all he asked for; it didn’t seem like much.
He knew the way he felt was exactly how Ric and Franco had felt after Gini’s accident. He thought he had shown them sympathy, but now he knew there was no consolation.
He’d always thought himself so smart with two fancy medical degrees. How many times had he talked to people about their loved one with brain trauma, trying to make them understand what to expect of their family member or friend for the rest of their lives? And he was sure he had made a difference—a few were angry and disappointed he couldn’t have done more, but most were appreciative and thanked him.
Franco had frustrated him because he didn’t try harder to understand, and he constantly had to talk Ric down from his unrealistic expectations. Robert was convinced he knew how to help these people, but now realized he had been completely clueless.
He just wanted his Gini back.
Chapter 11—“Oh… yes…”
As time passed, the household activities began to fall into a pattern, probably like most families with young kids—it’s all about them.
Robert had gotten his emotions in check and was the happiest when he was home playing with his daughter or snuggling with his wife. He just wanted to be with her all the time. Even though she never looked alert, he could feel her love.
John’s son Noah and family lived in Braintree. John and Vicky went there often to be with their grandson, and Noah made it a point to visit every Sunday.
Debbie suddenly had the feeling of normalcy. The house was full of the sounds of children playing, and all the women were in the kitchen fixing dinner and the men on the patio smoking cigars. Debbie had pulled Gini’s chair next to the kitchen table, where Debbie was peeling potatoes. Jason and Jessica were in the living area playing under Alyssa’s watchful eye.
This wasn’t the life she wanted for Gini, but it seemed there was nothing they could do to bring her out of her fog. Sometimes Gini would open her eyes and look straight at Debbie. The
