“We haven’t got long,” Skye replied cutting off a chunk of fudge cake and sliding the plate along the table in one smooth movement. “Stacey will be due a pep talk in about half an hour.”
“How’s she doing?” I asked.
“Not great. Matt’s been messaging her, and she’s stuck her phone in the spider plant to stop herself from replying.” Stacey and Matt were at a crossroads in their relationship. He’d asked for more than she was willing to give. Throw in a bat-shit crazy boss and a startling reminder that Matt sold sex for a living, and she wasn’t in the best place. Skye held up a large piece of card with pictures and words floating around a love heart. “What do you think?”
“Great,” I replied looking at an image of a porn still with a big black cross through it.
“Margot said Cal Dixon, the romance author, has written short stories they are going to film.” She waggled her eyebrows. “Well, we’re going to write one too.”
“OK.”
“We need to treat this like we’re planning a movie,” she said.
“But without the million-dollar budget,” I replied. “Or in fact, any budget.”
She rolled her eyes. “I want real women. Real men. Nothing surgically enhanced. Plus size. I want the film to be ethical with feminist values and…it needs to look good.”
“Of course,” I replied. “With an awesome soundtrack.”
“And real orgasms.”
“Storyboard sorted, then. I’ll be off”
“Not so fast,” she said, holding my arm. “You’ve just got here, and we need a trope.”
“I cannot measure the intensity of the fucks I do not give.”
“Stop being so Will-like and let’s get started,” she said, rubbing her eyes. She was tired, I could tell. Planning this film was taking its toll. I could usually pick up when she was stretching herself too far. We’d go to the cinema under the guise there was a film I just had to see, and she’d fall asleep against my shoulder halfway through. I’d lean in and listen to her soft breathing, happy that she’d let her tiredness finally take over.
“I’m lost. You want to plan a story?” I asked.
“Margot said Cal Dixon writes a scene and Margot films it.”
“There isn’t usually a plot in a porn film. At most it’s a handyman or a gardner who turns up unexpectedly and oops, his penis finds its way into her vagina.”
She laughed. “Why sacrifice a plot for great sex? Why can’t porn do both?”
“It can. If you want to show a real, romantic relationship then how about friends to lovers?” I said, feeling vulnerable as she looked up.
“Go on.”
“A lot of people meet at college or university and a friendship is formed first. Surely that’s good grounding for great sex?” She dropped her eyes and smiled before finally nodding.
“I like that. They know each other so well that if a friendship moves on to sex it’s bound to be good.” She started scribbling things down on the storyboard before putting the pen to her lip. “Yeah. They start to question everything. Think about the touches and glances that linger a little bit longer than usual.” I couldn’t look away from her. Was she talking about us? “The flirty banter becomes more intense. Hand holding sparks the fizz of butterflies. You can’t stay away from each other even if it’s just to see them for a few hours.” I felt like I was going to lose my mind. Like she’d got me all figured out. Delved into my mind and stayed there. She looked so beautiful in the light. A low glow that surrounded her. She didn’t have a scrap of makeup on. No neon eyes or red lip. Her hair was tied back with silver rings threaded through the braid. A warrior princess on her day off. “They give in to the urge one night. A quiet evening together where they can just be themselves. Friends to lovers. It’s something to strive for, don’t you think?”
“Definitely,” I replied as my fingers reached towards hers outstretched on the table.
“Have you arranged your date with Margot yet?” She asked and I knew I’d lost her. She smiled a little. Moved her hand back. Defeated maybe? I couldn’t tell.
“Not yet,” I replied, cursing myself for getting in between a rock and a hard place. I only agreed in order to get Skye the space, the equipment and the opportunity to bring her dream to life. I knew this project wasn’t just a dream, it was a calling. A longing to throw away the chains of guilt that wrapped around her body, squeezing her tight whenever she allowed herself to think of Elliott and the tangled view that she didn’t do enough for him.
“She’ll be wondering why you haven’t been in touch.”
“Been busy with other things,” I replied.
You. Thinking about you.
I want to love you and it’s time you knew.
She nodded and sighed before picking up her pen again, the one with a pink pom-pom on the end. She had a mischievous grin on her face, a look that meant she was ready for anything. A look I adored. Finally, she pushed the storyboard towards me, and I laughed when I saw she’d drawn a huge cock and balls and written friends to lovers underneath.
10
Skye
“Thanks so much for being here, tonight” I said to the group after they finished clapping. I’d suggested holding a steering group at Turnip the Beet to talk more with service users from the clinic about the impact of porn on young people today. I was pleased with the turnout and the amount of passion on the subject. “You’ve given me a lot to think about.”
Jenson, a guy who was a quieter member of the group had approached me during a break to talk about his battle with body dysmorphia. He was receiving counselling at the clinic and was beginning to embrace his identity. I’d noticed him becoming more daring with
