“Did you read them?” My voice was hoarse as I scarfed down the food in front of me.
“Of course not, Flynn. They weren’t addressed to me.”
I nodded. That was one less thing to worry about. I finished my plate as Ma talked about the farm and what needed to be done that week. She grabbed my dirty dishes and took them to the sink.
“Oh, Evelyn called me last night. She sounded upset and wanted you to give her a call when you sobered up.”
Realization slammed into me like a bag of bricks. I’d left all the fucking letters with Evelyn. My head dropped into my hands. Fuck.
“I’ll leave you to give her a call.” She went to walk away but paused at the archway. “She went to your dad’s funeral when he passed, you know. In hopes of seeing you, but you weren’t there. That woman’s been through hell, and she’s always cared about you somethin’ fierce.”
Ma shuffled back toward her bedroom as I sat in the chair mulling over what the fuck I was supposed to do. I knew one person who’d always called me out on my shit, and that was exactly what I needed. I called Oliver.
“Hey, man. What’s up?” He sounded tired.
“I made an ass out of myself last night.”
“What happened?”
My brows furrowed. “Are you alright? You sound off.”
A long sigh came through the receiver. “Fine, just adjusting I guess. Millie’s been supportive, and our daughter is just a joy.” He chuckled, but there was something behind his voice. “Anyway, what’d you do this time?”
I decided not to push him as I rubbed my nub, the ache in the limb was worsening. “Ma found my letters and gave some to Evelyn. I freaked out, got drunk, and basically threw them at Evelyn last night before leaving.”
“Shit. The letters? I know the guys and I busted your balls about them, but I knew how much they meant to you.”
“Yeah. But what do I do now? I have to call her, but what the fuck do I say?”
“The truth? Honestly, man. I’m having the worst time telling Millie everything. Maybe it’d be a good thing for her to read them. See if she can handle your past. It’s lonely dealing with it alone.”
I sighed. “You know the kind of shit I wrote. It’ll make her run from me.”
“If you see any future with her, you’ll want to know if she can even handle it. What’s the point of being with someone you can’t be your true self around?”
Oliver had a point. If I were to pursue things with Evelyn again, she’d have to know this shit eventually—but that’s assuming she’d even felt the same way.
“This is why I called you. You always know what to say.”
He gagged. “Don’t be going soft on me, Rockwell.”
I chuckled. “Don’t plan on it. Talk to you later.”
I hung up the phone. I knew what I had to do, but it scared the shit out of me.
The soiled letters sat in a stack next to my apple pie scented candle, the flame casting a soft glow on them. “He was drunk, but there was so much pain behind his eyes, Faith. I wish I could just do something.”
“I don’t know, Eve. Honestly, it seems like he’s been through a hell of a lot more than we could ever imagine.”
I frowned, shifting my weight as I leaned against the counter top. She was right, and I had a feeling everything he’d been through was written in the letters. I couldn’t read them though, that would break his trust—if we had any trust. I wasn’t sure what we were or if we were even friends. All I knew was that I wouldn’t read them without permission, no matter how tempted I was. “Yeah, so how’s baby making going?”
“Not good. We’ve only been trying a month, but it feels like forever.” I could hear the disappointment radiating off her.
“I’m sure you will conceive soon, and you’ll be an amazing mom.”
She sighed. “Yeah, I hope you’re right. Anyway, I’m going to head off here. Asher made dinner.”
I chuckled. “Swoon. I wish I had someone to make dinner for me. Have a good night!”
“You too,” she said before hanging up.
I put the phone on the counter and shuffled over to the fridge. My stomach was growling at me for not eating today. I’d been so caught up in what happened last night, I didn’t think to bring lunch to work.
I was heating up some takeout when I heard shuffling by my front door. I froze in my kitchen and tilted my head slightly toward the door, expecting to hear a knock. Leaves were crunching on the front porch, and I could’ve sworn I saw my door knob jiggling. Thank God I locked it.
Clutching my hand to my chest, I rushed to the door and looked out the peephole.
Relief flushed through me. Nobody was there. I leaned on the door for support. The stress was starting to get to me, but I had a sinking feeling in my gut, and there was no way I imagined that. I glanced at my trembling hands with a sigh. What I needed was a long night of self-care with the girls.
I jumped at the sound of my phone going off. I took one last glimpse out of the peephole to ensure my safety before hurrying over and answering it. “Hello?”
Flynn’s voice flooded my ears, and my muscles relaxed in response. “Evelyn, I’m sorry about last night. You shouldn’t have seen that.”
I sucked in a breath. “You don’t have to apologize. I didn’t mean to invade your privacy. I had thought you wanted me to read them. Which was stupid, honestly. I should’ve known when you didn’t give them to me yourself.” I glanced at the letters that mocked me
