I enter the bathroom and run some cool water over my face, trying to make the swelling of my eyes go down. I dry off my face and grab my Jansport, and carry it into the bedroom, along with a large garbage bag.
Opening the drawers, I dump whatever clothes I can into the large plastic bag. I stick with the heavier clothing because that’s what matters now. I grab some undergarments and throw them in the bag, too.
Walking over to the bed, I spot my new tablet, and for a second, I contemplate taking it. I won’t, though- I don’t deserve it, and I never did.
I turn and head past the dresser where he keeps the sand globe I got him. Rubbing my fingers over it, I take a deep, shaky breath. I’ll never forget the night Jaxon made me feel like I was the single most important person in his world. And he’s the only blessing I’ve ever received.
Tears pool in my eyes again, so I rush out of the room, not looking back. Grabbing a pencil and piece of paper, I sit down at the kitchen table and start writing.
My words take longer to get onto the paper than I thought they would. There’s already a hole in my heart by the time I finish writing the final word on his good-bye.
You need to do this…for him.
I clean off my glasses that are soaked from tears. I adjust them back on my face and stand up.
Spotting my keys on the table, I leave them there, throw the garbage bag over my shoulder, and grab my Jansport with my free hand. Little paws tickle the side of my leg, and I look down to find Magnet scratching at my pants. If I didn’t know better, I’d think he was trying to stop me from leaving.
I drop my bags to the floor and kneel down to pet his head. “I don’t have a choice, buddy. I’m no good for him.” He rubs his head against my knee. “It’s the best thing for them both. I need to go.” He jumps on my lap, and I fall back on my behind. Hugging him to my chest, I admit, “You aren’t really a serpent, you know. I think you’re actually my best friend.” I bury my face in his fur, my tears wetting the hairs. Magnet just sits on me, purring as I pet him.
“I have to go now, buddy. Take care of him for me.”
I remove Magnet as I stand up and head towards the door, but he gets to it first and scratches at it relentlessly. I choke out, “Magnet, you can’t come with me!” Picking him up, I plead, “Please, don’t make this harder than it has to be.”
I can’t breathe, and I think death would be easier than this. I grab Magnet’s food and water from the kitchen and place them in the bathroom before kissing him one final time and close him in there.
There’s scratching on the other side of the door as I walk away.
I whisper, “I’m sorry,” to this animal I’ve actually grown to love. Magnet has become someone I tell all my secrets to.
I hear his meows behind me as I grab the bags again. I open the door and lock it from the inside. The frigid air hitting my face isn’t nearly as cold as the ice forming once again inside my soul right now.
Here I am, another house I’m running from. But this time, it isn’t the people inside destroying me.
It’s me destroying them.
I take one final look at the only home I’ve ever known, wishing for one more moment with Jaxon. One more kiss, one more hug, one more laugh. But I can’t.
They aren’t mine to have anymore.
A firetruck zooms down the street, the sound of the sirens piercing my ears, but it barely registers compared to the sound of the door as I slam it shut for the final time.
Forty-six
Jaxon
I leave another damn voicemail for Gelissa. She hasn’t picked up my calls since I’ve gotten to the hospital with Emersyn. She’s been screaming and crying for her mom, fighting every single nurse who’s come to check her vitals. Finally, my phone rings, and I quickly answer the call, hoping I can hear over Emersyn’s cries.
“Hello?”
“Jaxon, what is it? I just woke up, and I’m tired.”
“It’s your daughter. She got burned, and I’m at the damn hospital with her, Gelissa. She’s screaming for you. You need to come here, now.”
“Is it really bad? Because I didn’t get much sleep. And I’m going out tonight with McKenzie.”
This girl never ceases to fucking amaze me.
“Does it matter how bad it is?! She’s screaming and crying for her mother. Can you play your part and get your ass over here? I’ve never done this before. I’m freaking out!”
Emersyn’s cries get louder as a nurse comes in and attempts to clean her arm.
“Ugh, Jaxon, this is your day with her. You asked for as much as possible. You’re just gonna have to deal with it. I’m busy today. I’m sure she’s fine. How’d she even get burned?”
I bite my tongue because I know threatening violence is frowned upon.
“She touched the inside of the oven.”
“Why weren’t you watching her?” her judgmental tone clear as day.
“I was outside. Cameron was in the kitchen when it happened. It was a fucking accident. Instead of passing blame, how about you come here and comfort our daughter?”
A pungent smell comes from Emersyn, and I sniff the back of her diaper. I hope that’s gas.
“Of course, it was your useless, awkward girlfriend who hurt our child.”
Emersyn screams for Gelissa again, and I know she hears it.
“Gelissa,
