“No.” Lily’s chin was set in stubborn defiance but when Abigail dragged her gaze up to meet her former friend’s, she saw Lily’s lips part in shock at the unshed tears she surely saw there.
With a loud sigh, Lily took her not-so-gently by the arm. “Come with me.”
Abigail might have argued if only she wasn’t afraid that a sob would escape if she tried to speak. A moment later she found herself inside an empty music room and across from her was a frowning Lily.
Abigail groaned. She was not up for another battle with Lily. Not now. All she wanted was to cry her heart out, was that too much to ask? After all, it wasn’t every day she discovered that she was in love. And she certainly hoped being forced to reject the love of her life for his own good was a once-in-a-lifetime occasion because she knew without a doubt that she could never make such a choice again and live to tell about it.
Pain was gnawing at her insides, clawing at her chest. “What do you want?” she attempted to snap.
Lily’s brows drew together in a frown of irritation and maybe just a little concern as she eyed Abigail from head to toe. When she was done with her scrutiny, she pursed her lips and crossed her arms. “Was that the truth back there?”
Abigail blinked at the cold fury in her former friend’s tone, and the reminder of how she’d just rejected a proposal from the man she loved—oh heavens, she truly loved him—it was enough to make her swallow a sob. “I already made it clear I would not make Major Mayfield marry me in some misguided attempt to save me. What more do you want?”
Lily blinked, looking slightly puzzled before giving her head a little shake. “No. Sorry. Not that part. I meant…” She drew in a deep breath that made her chest swell and she dropped her crossed arms. “Did you mean it when you said you rejected Merrick for his brother because…” She wet her lips. “Because you knew he was meant for me?”
Abigail’s stomach plummeted. “Oh. That.”
Drat. How much had Lily overheard before they’d stormed in? Humiliation had her belly twisting in agony. How much had Alex heard? She squeezed her eyes shut. No wonder he’d come storming in to her defense. He’d no doubt heard her mother’s harsh words, and she knew for certain he’d heard her mother’s threats about choosing a husband for her.
Between that and their stolen kiss, she might as well have waved a handkerchief and shouted for a shining knight to come to her rescue. A noble man like Alex could never have resisted such a pathetic cause.
“Oh that?” Lily’s voice rose in outrage. “Is that all you have to say?”
Abigail stared at her friend. “Truly, Lily, I do not have the energy for yet another battle with you. We’ve been over all this before.”
She started to turn away, but Lily stopped her with a hand on her arm. “Oh no you don’t.”
Abigail stopped with a weary sigh.
“You did it on purpose,” Lily said, her tone filled with accusation. “You tossed over Merrick in favor of his brother, knowing full well that his brother had no real interest in marrying you.”
She shrugged, feigning nonchalance even though her heart was pounding. “What is your point?”
“What is my point?” Lily said it with such force that Abigail jerked back in the face of it. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“What difference would it have made?” Abigail said.
Lily arched her brows in clear disbelief. “Well, I wouldn't have thought you'd callously rejected Merrick for a better title, for a start. I wouldn’t have thought you’d tried to take him from me in the first place.”
Abigail just barely held back a sigh. This was precisely why she hadn’t told her. She’d known her former friend would have made too much of it. “It wasn't as though that was my only crime against you, Lily.”
Lily frowned. “Perhaps not, but you had to know that you were risking your own future, your own prospects, by rejecting a perfectly wonderful suitor like Merrick for a known rake like Simon.”
Abigail met her friend’s gaze evenly. She had far too many current heartaches to be too overwrought by her past. Any other time she might have been able to muster a smirk or a witticism that deflected this emotional scene. But right now it was all she could do to keep her focus on Lily and not on the man she’d just walked away from in the library.
She gave a frustrated shake of her head as Lily stared at her, waiting for more of a response. “I don’t know what you want me to say, Lily.”
In true Lily fashion, she fisted her hands at her sides and let out a soft growl. “I want you to tell me why you didn’t explain. Why you didn’t talk to me about this. You risked your mother’s wrath, you no doubt disappointed your father, and you put your own selfish wants aside. For me.” Lily jabbed a finger into her own chest. “For Merrick. I want to know why you kept that a secret.”
And here it was. Abigail supposed it was only right that her past came back to haunt her today, of all days. Now, of all times. As if discovering she was in love and then experiencing her first heartbreak was not enough for one day.
Perhaps this was her punishment. Or maybe her penance.
“I treated you abominably that first season, Lily, and we both know it. Don't try to rewrite history just because one of my bad deeds wasn't quite as bad as you'd thought.”
Part of her itched to explain. To justify. To try and make her understand just how much pressure she’d been under that first season to outshine all others. How she’d stupidly thought
