“I promise, but if I’m going to dinner with everyone I need to freshen up first.” I hug him and walk out to start getting ready. I spot Justin watching me as I go into the bathroom, I just smile at him.
Dinner with the band was something I may never do again. The Mexican place John wanted to try had wonderful food, it was the company of the band that made it an awful experience. They set us in a over sized booth. Dave, John and Scot all sit on one side leaving me with Justin and Chris. This wouldn’t have been that bad if they didn’t sit me in the middle. Justin was by the window, then me, and then Chris. The other guys could see the tension. Everyone tried to make small talk, but I could see that I was an outsider. After the food came everyone seemed fine, because we didn’t have to talk. Justin only talked to me once the whole dinner.
“Can you pass the chips?” He asked, I hand him the basket, we both smile then I saw his face change. I look over at Chris and he is evil eyeing us! I let out a big sigh and swear to myself I will never eat out with them again!
As soon as we get back on the bus I head for the back room. I left all of my stuff there from earlier today. I sit down where I was before and let out a big grunt, I put my face in my hands trying not to scream. I didn’t even hear the door open.
“Hey, can we talk?” Justin’s voice makes me jump up.
“Shit you scared me!” I let out a deep breath.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean too. I need to ask you what was up with Chris tonight?” We both sit down but I sit a little further away this time.
“It’s a long story, don’t worry I’ll make sure he apologizes to everyone.” I pull my knees up to my chest and wrap my arms around my legs and just stare at the floor.
“I’m not asking for him to do that. I want to know if I did something wrong to make him mad at me? The look he gave me tonight sent a chill up my back. It’s like he doesn’t want me talking to you or something.”
“He’s not mad at you, like I said it’s a long story.” One I don’t think you will understand.
“We have all night.” He smirks at me. Fine but I don’t know where to start, how far back do I go?
“You know Chris has raised me since I was seven years old right?” He nods “So he has been not only a big brother but almost like a father to me. He tries to protect me from everything. I don’t like to make friends on the tours we go on because I end up getting hurt. The first friend I made hurt me in the worst way, she was only nice to me because she wanted in Chris’s pants. I never got close to anyone after that. A few girls would try to play nice with me but anytime Chris was in the room they would be all over him. Then they tried to get me to tell him things for them, like their room number and stuff. After that I was done with making friends, I have Chris and that’s good enough for me. We move around so much I wouldn’t see them again anyways.” I take a breath and try to regroup for a minute.
“This still doesn’t tell me why he doesn’t like me.” Justin says.
“I’m not finished, and he does like you, he thinks you’re an amazing musician.” I look over at him and he looks confused. “Justin, I’m a seventeen year old girl who is traveling with one of the hottest bands on the planet right now. Most girls would kill to be in my shoes. But I don’t like being around tons of people all the time. I don’t like people only being nice to me because of Chris and this is why I stay in the background all the time. I like being left alone, well until you came along that is.” I watch as his face changes and his lips curl into a small smile. “You aren’t sitting here talking to me with the hopes of sleeping with my brother, and you don’t have to be nice to me, but you are. I think this scares him, and it scares me a little too. I’m not one to trust or open up easily with anyone but I like talking to you, like we did earlier. This is new to me, and I think it scares Chris because he thinks it may turn into something else…..” I look away from him as I say that last part. I can feel the heat raising in my cheeks, this is all so embarrassing. I just sit and wait for him to respond.
“I like talking to you too, and I now understand why you would rather be sitting on a couch in the corner then partying with everyone else. Anyone can see that Chris is protective of you, but would he really stop you from being friends with someone?” When he asked this I had to stop and think. Would he stop me?
“No, I don’t think he would. But when he looks at you and me he doesn’t just see us being friends. He remembers what it was like being a nineteen year old musician, and it scares the crap out of him that you are trying to be friends with me.” I have to laugh at this, Chris sees Justin as he was all those years ago. I can only imagine a young Chris, playing drums for whoever
