And perhaps you know that Quinton ran the London Marathon two weeks ago? Who would have imagined that! I did a marathon ONCE in Johannesburg, and it was an important marker in my life, for it brought to me a painful awareness of my physical limitations, and I vowed never to try again. Yet Quinton has committed to run AGAIN next year, and he will do so solely because of and for you: He will run on behalf of an NF charity. And he will be a better and more complete man for having done so!
And then I was intrigued by your discovery of (serious) music, your judgment on Bach (my all-time favourite, even if not yours), and the development of your own musical skills. And so on, and so on…
But above all, we, my family, have admired you, so much more than words can say, for the courage and stoicism with which you have borne your personal cross over so many years. We would have given almost anything for it to have been otherwise, but your cup could not be passed. Your strength and dignity, and indeed those of your parents, throughout your suffering have taught us humility, compassion, of the frailty of human existence, even gratitude, for we were not given your burden to carry.
Today you fill our thoughts, our hearts, our prayers. May you find relief, peace and solace.
With Love
B
From: Craig Schonegevel
To: Dr Howard Nock
Sent: Sunday, 10 May 2009 12.22 PM
Hello Doc
Doc, because you are very dear to me and mean more to me than you will ever know, I’d like to share the following with you. Doc, this will shock you and I don’t know how I would handle being on the receiving end of this email. All I can ask is that you keep this to yourself and respect that it is a very personal decision that I have made entirely on my own and that this decision has given me true peace.
For a while now I have had discussions with George Irvine and he is of the opinion that it is the true Craig that is thinking and not a depressed or disillusioned Craig.
My health just does not give up and I should have already been to Cape Town to have the operation to my arm. (I feel it has grown in size since I’ve had the MRI and it is causing more pain as well as giving me pins and needles in my fingers all the time.) I have been unable to have the op because my colon is playing up again. I was in hospital again for an obstruction 10 days ago, which thankfully passed this time. I am still basically on liquids. Adhesions have formed again and it is just a waiting game until it leads to surgery again. The scar down my entire abdomen has been cut six times now and the irony is that each time more adhesions form that again lead to surgery. There is no cure for this problem, like there is no cure for Neurofibromatosis, the disease that I have.
I have decided and this is the part that will shock you… to go to Dignitas Clinic in Switzerland, which is an assisted-suicide clinic. I have been in contact with them and am submitting medical history and other forms.
If they accept me (subject to certain conditions) I get a “green light” to travel to them and be assisted. This is legal in Switzerland. The thing is that my parents will be travelling with me and may face legal issues when they return. They respect my decision. They have been advised to approach senior legal counsel. There have been a few cases in the UK before, Daniel James went there and his parents were charged but the case was later dropped.
After 12 operations and the pain I have experienced and the imminent surgeries that await me, as well as all that goes with my disease, all I dream of is peace. And to not have the true Craig further and further “raped” to the point that what is left of him will be gone.
Love
Craig
PS. Doc, if I do get the “green light”, please
accept that I have included you in my Will.
From: Dr Howard Nock
To: Craig Schonegevel
Sent: Sunday, 10 May 2009 10:21 PM
Dear Craig
I was deeply saddened to read your email but at the same time I appreciate that you have found a peace that I’m sure you have not known for a while now.
I feel very touched that you have shared this decision with me. At all times when you have shared your medical problems with me, I have been struck by your courage and strength and how you still take time to think of others. So you have my utmost respect.
Please feel free to email me at any time with any thoughts you may want to share.
Please know that my thoughts are with you and your family.
Your friend
Howard
From: Bruce Robertson
To: Craig Schonegevel
Sent: 21 June 2009 07:30 PM
Subject: My Friend
Dear Craig
First off, let me tell you how much I appreciated your call on Wednesday – most especially because you chose me to share your thoughts and decisions. I have known for a long time that you are ill, and about the nature of your condition. And so, I have respected your personal space, and have only enquired rarely about how you are. So, your call came as a surprise to me, but what you had to tell me was perhaps less of a surprise. And no less of a surprise was the manner in which you shared these most personal thoughts and feelings with me. Let me explain.
About five years ago I
