I was surprised at how calm he was. That child was so calm. I don’t know. Maybe he was churned up inside.
Now I remember my birthday is on the 4th of September and I remember him saying to us, it is coming, it is going to be. I was staying with them at that time. Now every night he says goodnight to us and we do not know if it is going to be.
The next morning we hear Neville open the door, as he usually did, and he talks to Craig and I think: “Thank God.”
Imagine how he felt inside? How anxious he must have been about getting on with it. This big thing he must do.
I remember one morning I met him in the passage and I said something to him out of love but that I think now might have been uncalled for. I should have been more tactful. I said to him, “How are you this morning, my boy?” and I hugged him.
And he hugged me back and he said, “Nana, you should imagine how I feel.”
And so things went on like that in the house. And he still said the last night or the night before, he told a joke about the drink the Moscow Mule he wanted us to drink after the funeral.
He still poured a drink for us. And then he said goodnight… but that wasn’t the last night. I remember Patsy saying to him, “Craig, you mustn’t let this happen on Nana’s birthday.”
On the night of the 31st I was there. He died in the early hours of the morning of the 1st. That night, he didn’t even pour a drink for us. I don’t even think he said goodnight. He just disappeared.
But we didn’t know if that was the night or not. I was sitting with Patsy in the lounge watching TV and Neville was working on the computer.
Then we all went to bed. And then the next morning Neville knocked on the door, I think, then he opened it and then it was over. Craig was gone.
Neville didn’t want us to go in, to see him.
Oh man, it was just so, so sad. Night after night you expect it to happen and there is nothing you can do. This is a grown man and not a child and it is his desire. And then it happens.
And then Neville called the police and very soon the house was bustling. Patsy was just sitting there. I think she couldn’t quite believe it.
Then on the 4th of September, my birthday, was Craig’s cremation. Did you see the picture that Sandy took at the cremation, of the smoke going up?
I find it beautiful. Maybe I am strange but that kind of thing gives me peace. That smoke, for me, it was his peace.
You know sometimes I like to watch the video of his funeral. There were over 300 people there and it was wonderful. For some reason it gives me peace.
16Sarah: My Second Son
Nontsebenzo Mjebeza, or Sarah, began working for the Schonegevel family in 1984 when Craig was three years old. While she has since retired, she still visits the family frequently.
Over the years Sarah formed an invaluable part of the delicate support system in the Schonegevel home, looking after Patsy in the early years and becoming at times a “second mother” to Craig.
She had gone home on leave to Govozane just outside King William’s Town in August 2009, just before Craig took his life. She was unable to return in time for the cremation or memorial service.
Losing her own son, Nuzuzo, at the age of 31 to TB in 2003 prepared her somewhat for dealing with Craig’s decision to take his own life.
I FOUND THE JOB AT THE SCHONEGEVELS after working for another family. They were still living in Weybridge Park then. I remember that the first time I babysat Craig he didn’t cry and his mom told me that that was wonderful.
I have two children of my own. One of them, my son, Nzuzo, died in 2003 at the age of 31. My daughter, Nenekazi, is 33 now and I don’t have any grandchildren.
Craig was always such a lovely little boy. When he was small I used to help his mom with the transport and I would take him to the nearby shopping centre to catch his bus to school. In the afternoon I would wait for him there as well.
In many ways Craig understood me more than my own children. He could tell when I was cross or irritated, then he would say, “Sorry, Sarah” or he would make me a cup of coffee because he knows I love coffee.
I was here when he came back from those big operations in London and I was here when his mother was so sick as well. You can see the photo of him when he came back from that operation, this big scar all around his body.
What I admired about Craig is that he was a Christian. A very good man who did not like lies and who always wanted to give to others.
There were times when it was not so sad as it was at the end. I remember him when he passed his matric. When he had his 21st birthday party. I remember his partner and how he was dressed.
He was all right at that time. He was happy. But later he was in and out of the hospitals. I saw him being very sick and suffering.
When my own son was in hospital with TB I used to go and visit him and he was in a lot of pain. And I would go to the bathroom and I would pray to God to help him, my son. Then he died the next
