Her street is dead, as per usual, and the gate to her house is shut tight. No one’s home and therefore nobody should be coming around, except me. But I have a fucking reason to!
I park in the same spot I was in the night before and relax into the seat, maybe I should’ve brought something to read. I turn on my podcasts and listen to a recent episode of true crime, trying to pass the time.
Around ten to three, I finally see Ivy’s car pull up, her gates open and she pulls into her driveway, fucking tinted windows didn’t show me shit. She’s the first one home and that means she’s home alone. I should stick around a bit longer until one of her parents gets home, just in case she needs something. I turn on another episode of the podcast and recline my seat for a bit.
It takes about two hours for another vehicle to turn on the street and my heart jumps when I see it’s a cop car again. What the fuck is going on? Are the Greenes under investigation?
The car once again slows down in front of Ivy’s house, this time stopping briefly to look at the closed gate, and then proceeds to drive towards me. This time, when he passes my car, his head turns and we lock eyes, his narrowing slightly and his nostrils flaring. He looks slightly deranged and there’s so much anger in his eyes.
I guess I’m staying here a bit longer.
Dean has been quiet since I told him to go ahead and publish the website, I’d love to see how the cops would react knowing I’m severely underage in all those photos and videos. I should’ve grown a backbone months ago.
Officer Adam Van Dyke is another issue, he’s been calling me and leaving me weird voice messages. He sounds drunk in each one and begging me to get rid of my child. As the messages go on, he get’s increasingly angry, and the final one is of him threatening to rape me again. Well Officer Van Dyke, that’s fucking stupid.
I keep all the messages because if he tries to attack me again, I will send everything to my Uncle Emmett. Beyond that, I am physically okay, save for the morning sickness, and I am still debating what to do with this pregnancy. It literally fluctuates by the hour and I know my window of choice is closing fast. The prospect of being a single mother is scary and disappointing, I’ve always wanted what my parents have.
Each day I spend about half an hour in front of the mirror, I’m trying to see if my stomach has grown and the only change I can see right now are my breasts. They have literally ballooned. My bras don’t fit and I’ve changed to sports bras. But that’s it, my stomach is still flat-probably due to throwing up most of what I eat-and my clothes still fit me. I don’t know how much longer I have, though.
Mom and Dad have been busy every day and rarely get home before six. Mom looks exhausted most of the time and she’s been spending almost every weekend in New York. I feel like maybe something big is happening with her business there. Whatever it is, it takes a lot of her energy.
Carmelo is starting to train now with Uncle Emmett three weekends out of a month and he’s excited to also learn about his birth father. Uncle Emmett knew him the best and the place where they’re training belonged to him at one time. The Compound as they call it is a huge underground structure that houses over twenty people and has a fight ring and massive training facilities. Now, Mom and Uncle Trent own it. I’ve only ever been there a few times.
Saxon has been wandering more and more into my room and we’ve settled into watching a few Netflix series together. I know he can sense something up with me but doesn’t pry me for any information, he doesn’t really feel the need to know it and that’s what I love about him. He says school is a pain in the ass and he wants to convince Mom and Dad to let him be homeschooled. The thing is, Saxon is extremely smart and it’s a bit scary.
Recently, his grades have been dropping and he’s looking more and more disinterested in school. When I pressed him about it, he insisted he just hates his school and the teachers are dumbasses. I thought maybe he was being bullied because Saxon is a bit different but he assures me he is not. To put it in his words, “I wish someone would.”
I think he’s bored and the material being taught to him is too simple. Maybe he needs to be bumped up a grade.
My phone pings on the bed and I reach for it amid a flurry of emotions, Eager, anxious, and worry race through me. I want it to be Neil, I dread it may be Dean, and I’m annoyed it could be Adam.
Annoyance it is.
Officer Asshole: We should meet up. I want to help you in whatever you choose to do.
This is a complete one-eighty and absolutely unbelievable.
Officer Asshole: I know I’ve been harassing you and I just want the chance to make it right. I’ve stopped drinking which has led to many of the mistakes I made, like what I did to you.
He’s blaming alcohol. What a fucking idiot.
Me: Fuck off, Adam.
I put my phone on silent and lay back on the bed beside Saxon, pigging out on chips and soda.
I won’t let any man make choices for me, I only want the one to love me through
