That makes me look at this hunger for music that we all have. I think the hunger comes from a need to feel like we are succeedin’ at somethin’. With limited education and limited resources, music is the only thing that makes us feel like we’re a part of the world. It makes us feel worthy, because it comes to us so naturally. Music isour gift to the world. It’s what we do. That’s why I didn’t push Tiny much because his hunger for music is the same as mine. The only difference is that I got a shot before him and he hasn’t gotten his shot—yet.
The truth is that I love my family more than anything in my life. But when I come home to North Carolina, there is sometimes a pressure I feel of having to make everyone happy.
Helping the people who I grew up with in High Point is very important to me. If a few small moments in my life had gone differently, I could still be there in High Point, sitting next to my family on the couch and watching some other girl winAmerican Idol. But handing out money on the streets is not really a way to help anyone. I can only help those who want to help themselves. That is why I reached back and took my brother Rico and my homegirl Aseelah on the road with me as background singers. The experiences on the road with me are career-makin’ experiences that will take them into their own music careers. They are gaining experience performing and getting exposure to how the music business works. Because they have traveled the world with a signed artist, they will always get work with other signed artists. I wish I could do something thatreal for everyone.
I have a lot of dreams that I want for myself and my family. I want the people in my family know how much I love them and how I remember those nights on Montlieu Avenue, when we didn’t have anything but the music. I keep working and doing shows so that we can have all the things that we deserve. I’m just hoping that soon the other hungers for those material things will wear off and we will soon be in plannin’ mode and notwantin’ mode.
I’m saving money, but I haven’t invested yet other than buying a house. For now, I just want to save as much as I can, take care of my family, and learn more about how to manage money. One thing I know for sure is we are not going to look back. We’re not going back to where we started.
One thing I do love is a bargain. I still shop at Target and Wal-Mart. If I could say anything to you, I would say be wise about how you spend your money. Don’t buy designer clothes and fancy cars that you can’t afford. Look for sales and look for bargains. If I could be at home more, you better believe that ’Tasia would be at yard sales. If I see a yard sale while on the road, I still stop if we have time. Going to yard sales reminds me that I am still a country girl and I don’t have to splurge and spend a lot of money to feel like I got something.
I’m inspired by the bling-bling celebrities who have moved beyond the initial attraction of the bling and are now creating enough money to live comfortably without wasting money. I am inspired by Oprah Winfrey, who turned her broadcasting career into a television and publishing empire in addition to being an award-winning actress who always gives plenty of money to help other people. Now, that’s what I’m talkin’ about! Halle Berry does great movies, acts, and is a major model and film producer. Jay-Z, Puff Daddy, and Will Smith are smart men who turned hip-hop into fashion, restaurants, sports ownership, sneaker design, endorsements, and TV production. Someday, I want ’Tasia to be on that list.
Of course, I worry that I don’t have the smarts to do things in business like they did even though it’s what I want so much. All of these people at least finished high school, and I haven’t even got my GED. I pray and ask God to give me the time and patience to finish my education, and the guidance to spend my money wisely, so there is always money in the bank. I have dreams of starting businesses. I want to open up a beauty shop that also has nail services. I have always wanted a restaurant and a club with live music, a small dance floor, and an open-mic night where musicians and poets can do their “thang.” Sometimes, I even dream of a shoe store, because I love shoes so much. I would specialize in exotic European shoes. I also want to pay off my grandmother’s church mortgage, which would be another family asset. And, because my grandmother has a daycare center in her home, I would love to expand it. All of my businesses would make jobs for my friends and the other people in High Point, who say there is no work available.
I have a lot of dreams. I must sound silly to you, but three years ago if I had told you I would be writing a book, I had traveled the world, and was the 2004 American Idol you and I would both have said that I was crazy. Having dreams are the first part of making things happen. Dreaming big means that you can think you can. If you are not dreamin’ big, then you are just sleepin’ on life.
