Eric rolled his eyes, but turned to Kat. “Kat, I promise that this time we’re actually going to end up married. I vow to protect you from all sorts of dangers, including steps that may be too icy and pizza that might give you heartburn. I’ll even continue to do your crazy adventures, as long as you promise to hold my hand when I’m screaming.”
Kat smiled up at him. “Eric, I promise to never let you drink tequila, even when you’re trying to fit in with everyone else. I’ll make sure you get lots of tattoos and maybe even get you to go on a rollercoaster someday. And I’ll hold your hand through everything, and make sure no one sees you cry when our son is born.”
Hunter quirked his eyebrow at Derek. “What the fuck kind of vows were those?”
“Oh, like yours and Lucy’s were any better,” Derek shot back.
“Robert and Anna,” Hunter said, waving them on.
“Anna, I promise to never wear my pretentious suits anymore, unless I have a really important meeting. Sometimes it can’t be helped. And I still want to take you out to fancy restaurants. I know you don’t like it, but every once in a while, I want to spoil you and you’re just going to have to deal with that. And if I buy you something, it’s not that I’m trying to buy you, I just want to spoil you rotten, and you’ll just have to accept that. Other than that, I’m willing to give up most of my asshole tendencies if it means I get to have you in my life for…the rest of my life.”
Anna rolled her eyes at him. “You know, you almost had me, but let me tell you how this is actually going to go. If I say we’re staying home, then we’re staying home. If I tell you not to buy me stuff, I’m not trying to get you to buy it for me anyway. I just don’t like that stuff. I get to decorate the house my way. I’ve seen your lifeless apartment in the city and it sucks. So, as long as I get to reign over that, we should be good.”
“Wow,” Hunter snorted. “A winning endorsement.”
Carly swung out suddenly, kicking him in the stomach. Hunter let out a whoosh of air, bending over to gasp for breath. “What the hell was that?”
“You can keep the commentary to yourself,” Carly snapped. Then she turned to Josh. “So…I didn’t think we’d ever actually get to this point. I have to say, I miss being on the run with you. Your family is a little crazy, and that’s saying a lot coming from a woman that was raised in the mafia. Still, it’s not so bad in this town. It’s better than that place in Minnesota, you know, the trailer park? That was disgusting, and this is a definite upgrade. But I guess where we live really doesn’t matter, as long as I have you at my back. Oh, and if you always have weapons on hand.”
Josh smirked at her. “Well, until I met you, I had only held hunting rifles. Without you, I would have died in like a day, and that’s a generous estimate. You kept me alive and taught me to defend myself, and despite almost dying for you, I would do it again in a heartbeat, because the thought of not having you in my life would kill me. So, yes, I’ll always have a weapon on hand, so that if you die, I won’t have to live this life without you.”
I leaned over to Andrew. “Okay, is it just me or was that a little morbid?”
“Eh,” he shrugged. “I think it was kind of romantic.”
“Can I expect something equally morbid from Will and Charlie?”
“Nah, that should be fairly normal.”
We watched as Hunter said a few more words and then motioned for Will to begin.
“Charlie, I promise to alway love, respect, and honor you through the good times and the bad.” I smiled. Finally, something normal. “I promise to always defend your gender to anyone that thinks you’re a man.” I frowned at that. “I promise to never stay in bed when I know you have to get to work, and the only times that I’ll keep you in bed are when I’m giving you orgasms.”
“Inappropriate,” Eric coughed out.
“I promise to always call you and be nice to you when I know I’ve done something wrong, so that hopefully it’ll put you in a better mood. And above all that, I promise that when we have kids, I won’t follow you around the grocery store.”
It got really quiet as the town looked at each other. Yeah, this was the worst wedding in the history of weddings.
“Okay,” Hunter nodded. “That was…weird. Charlie?”
She sighed heavily. “Will, despite the fact that I love you, I’m always going to think that men and women shouldn’t be together for life. That being said, I’m willing to risk it this second time around because I think maybe you won’t screw it up, and neither will I. At least, that’s what I’m hoping for. So, as long as you stop stacking the pots and pans upside down and leaving dishes all over the counter instead of just putting them in the dishwasher, chances are higher that we might make it. Like, maybe close to sixty-six percent.”
“Sixty-six percent?” Will chuckled nervously. “That’s…a little too specific.”
“Well, when you look at the statistics, I’m being generous. Take what you can get.”
Hunter looked at the two of them, his brows furrowed together. I saw him lean over and whisper something to Derek, but Derek just gave him a shove and motioned for him to continue.
“Anyway, Joe, maybe you want to make this…somewhat better?”
Joe grinned. “I got this, Hunty.”
“It’s Hunter,” he bit out.
“Right,” Joe grinned and nodded, pointing one finger to his nose and the other at Hunter. Hunter’s hand flashed out so fast that no one had time to
