‘Friday is the earliest? Nothing before then?’ Josh wasn’t sure why he felt in such a rush to leave England, but waiting three whole days before his ship departed for India seemed like far too long.
‘Nothing earlier. Do you want the passage?’
‘Yes.’ He handed over the money, trying to ignore the regret at the way his stay in England had been cut short. There was no way he could remain and witness what was to come next so he wouldn’t waste time pining for longer in his birth country.
‘Back home,’ he murmured as he left the cramped little office. The thought of the hot sun on his face and the familiar sights and smells only lifted his spirits a fraction.
The docks were busy with men hurrying to and fro, loading and unloading the big ships that sat moored in the water. His trained eye could tell their cargos immediately and most of their countries of trade and origin. His guardian’s business had started as a shipping company many years ago and that was still the core activity, but over the years they had expanded to include a branch of the company that dealt with transportation of goods throughout India. Josh loved the logistics of it, the detailed calculations needed to work out how to move a product from the verdant interior, to the docks at the coast then across the world to the half a dozen countries their ships sailed to.
This was what he needed to focus on. The last few months had been a distraction, nothing more. Now he needed to get back home and put all of his energy into making the business thrive. He had heard of the steam trains gaining popularity in mines and ironworks in parts of England and knew in his heart this was the future of travel and transporting goods. Quietly he had been buying up stretches of land and researching what would be needed to bring the steam train to India.
Even as he tried to concentrate on his plans for the business thoughts of Beth kept creeping in. A swish of a woman’s skirt reminded him of the evening he and Beth had strolled through the pleasure garden, a hint of lavender scent made him think of her fresh and fragrant skin. Everywhere there were reminders of her.
He knew he needed to accept her rejection of him and move on, but even when he was trying not to think about it, it still hurt.
‘Josh.’ He heard her calling his name even before he saw her standing on the docks, looking completely out of place.
At first he wasn’t sure if she was real. Lady Elizabeth had no reason to be alone and unaccompanied on the dockside of London, but as he stepped closer he could see the rise and fall of her chest, the soft movement of her lips as she breathed. She was real.
‘What are you doing here?’ He guided her out from the main thoroughfare, away from the men heaving heavy loads of cargo across the docks into the warehouses that towered high above them.
‘Josh, I’m so sorry.’ Her words came out in a rush and he had to put a hand on her arm to get her to stop and slow down.
‘What are you doing here, Beth?’
‘Is there somewhere we can go? To talk?’
He thought about sending her away, rejecting her as she had rejected him, but he knew he could never do it. It might hurt him more in the end, but he needed to know why she was here.
‘I’m finished here. We can go back to my brother’s town house. Where is your carriage?’
‘The coachman had to leave. It was a hired carriage and our time was up.’
Josh felt a surge of protectiveness for Beth, alongside anger at the coachman who had left a young lady in an unsavoury area of London with no means of getting away.
‘You’re alone.’
‘Yes.’
‘Your mother didn’t accompany you?’
‘No.’
He hated the surge of hope that flared in him at her answer.
It took half an hour to weave their way through the docks back to a street where they could hail a carriage. He could see Beth was eager to get whatever she had to say off her chest but he didn’t want to discuss things out here in the open. She had been so definite when she had sent him away that he couldn’t see anything good coming out of her following him to London, and he wasn’t about to have his heart broken for a second time whilst stuck in a carriage with her with nowhere to go.
Only once they were sitting in the comfort of Leo’s study, the servants instructed not to disturb them under any circumstances, did he motion that he was ready to hear what she had to say.
‘I’m sorry, Josh. I never set out to hurt you.’
‘That I believe.’
‘When we were on the beach on Saturday, when I said I would marry you, I truly thought I would. I thought we could work everything out.’
He stayed silent. He’d believed that too. For a short while he had convinced her to let go of her guilt and to let go of the belief that she was solely responsible for what happened next to her sister and her mother. For a few short hours she had believed she could marry him.
He clenched his jaw, trying not to let the pain show on his face. Her rejection of him still cut like a knife and he was finding it hard to focus on her words.
‘Then when I saw Annabelle so upset all my old guilt and feelings of responsibility came rushing back.’ There were tears in her eyes and Josh had to restrain himself from reaching out to her. It was important she said whatever she had come to say. Then they could both move on with their lives. ‘I felt like what we had planned was just a fairy tale, a dream. Something that
