‘You did.’
‘I’m sorry,’ she said again, shaking her head and looking just over his shoulder. ‘I wish I could turn back the clock.’
Josh waited, forcing himself not to guess what she was about to say. She had sought him out for a reason, and by her tone so far it would appear that reason was regret. Whether it was regret purely at the way they had parted, or regret for the decision she had made, it was not yet clear.
His mind was racing, trying to work out what he would do if she begged him to give her a second chance. He just didn’t know, so instead pushed himself back to the present rather than spending his energy on speculation.
‘After you left, I felt miserable. I couldn’t imagine my life without you.’ She shook her head. ‘No, that’s not true. I could imagine it and it was horrible.’ Beth slipped from her chair and knelt in front of him, reaching out for his hand. Her skin was warm and soft against his and he could feel the flutter of her pulse under his fingertips. ‘I already knew I loved you, but I realised I had made the worst mistake of my life. I was sitting there in the summer house, pining for you, and I realised once again I had allowed my guilt to rule my life.’
She bit her lip before continuing. ‘I am not solely responsible for my mother and my sister. They are both adults, they can make their own decisions, live their own lives.’
‘Do you actually believe that?’
She nodded. ‘I think you said words like those to me so many times it must have burrowed into my consciousness. I realised that you were right—I could be a loving sister without sacrificing my own happiness.’ The words were coming out in a rush now. ‘And I spoke to Annabelle and she said she just wanted me to be happy and would be quite content in a little house somewhere rather than me trying to save Birling View.’
‘And your mother?’
Beth grimaced. ‘Do you know she set up that whole thing with Annabelle? Somehow she knew we would head back through the village, probably because I promised Annabelle I would pick up her book, and she paid those men to be there just at the right moment to taunt her own daughter.’
That was unexpected. As much as he disliked Lady Hummingford he wouldn’t have thought she could do something so harmful to her own daughter. He remembered the sense he’d had that something was wrong, something was staged or unnatural about how the group of men had approached her sister, and realised this must have been why. Lady Hummingford had arranged it all along.
‘Beth, why are you here?’
‘I want to be with you, Josh. I want to marry you and come with you to India, to be your wife, to have your children.’
She looked up at him with her blue eyes sparkling, a mixture of hope and trepidation swimming in their depths.
‘We had the chance of all that and you pushed me away. What’s to say you won’t change your mind again?’
Part of him wanted to swoop her onto his lap and kiss her senseless, but there was something holding him back. That fear of her changing her mind again, of him letting her in and then getting his heart broken all over again.
‘I won’t. I made a mistake, Josh, but I love you. Please.’
Slowly he shook his head, not meaning to reject her completely, but unable to believe that she could put them, their relationship, first.
‘I love you, Beth,’ he said slowly, his voice sounding harsh to his own ears, ‘but I don’t think I could survive you leaving again.’
She nodded, biting her lip. ‘I know I hurt you, unforgivably so. I know me pushing you away, rejecting you, brought back all those awful memories from your childhood.’ She took a shaky inhalation of breath. ‘And I know how hard it must have been when it seemed that I chose your brother over you. I’m so sorry, Josh. The last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you. I was stupid and selfish, only thinking of my pain and my responsibilities.’ Beth clutched at his hand and paused for a moment, needing the time to collect herself. ‘I won’t promise to be perfect, I won’t promise never to do anything wrong again, but I will promise to always choose you. To always make each and every decision with you in the forefront of my mind.’
Josh closed his eyes, trying to make sense of the battling thoughts inside his head. One part of him wanted to embrace her and forget the last two days had ever happened. The other part, the cautious part, warned against opening himself up to heartbreak again.
‘I don’t know, Beth.’
‘Down on the beach, when you told me you loved me and I said I loved you, you said that was enough, the rest was just practicalities.’
He nodded, wondering what she was going to say.
‘You were right. I love you, you love me. The rest is just practicalities. I let myself lose sight of that, but I know we are meant to be together, Josh. It doesn’t matter where in the world we are, as long as we have each other.’ She gave him a gentle smile and he felt his heart swell. ‘Give me the chance to show you how much I love you.’
He searched her eyes, seeing just hope and love there, and realised he didn’t want to live his life without the woman he loved. She had hurt him, but she was here now and he could feel the sincerity in her words. Slowly, unable to repress a smile, he leaned down and pulled her into his lap. She let out a little sigh of relief just before his lips covered hers and they were lost to one another’s kiss.
‘You’re lucky there were no
