‘Are you going somewhere?’ She hoped he’d deny what was so obvious.
‘I need to get back to Sydney.’
That bubble inside her burst. ‘To do what?’
He didn’t reply. He was regarding her so seriously, but she could read the thoughts in his eyes. There was nothing urgent for him to go back to.
‘I have meetings to prepare for,’ he muttered.
‘You can’t do that here?’
She didn’t know why she maintained the fiction with him. Why she didn’t just challenge him outright to speak the truth.
In answer he simply shook his head.
‘Why not?’ she asked.
‘The environment is too distracting.’ A wisp of a smile.
But Merle couldn’t smile. That he was leaving was bad enough. That this was over was devastating. But that he was ending it earlier than she’d expected? Right when the balance had tipped and it had become raw, but so good? Right when they were on the brink of something so much more? He was stealing away all possibility. Denying them any kind of chance—this was like someone tipping over the board and scattering the pieces before the game was won.
It hurt.
Because it meant he didn’t care. His time with her had been good, but not good enough. Distracting but not anything important enough or meaningful enough to stick around or change plans for. Except he had changed plans. Hadn’t he shortened it? Her gaze narrowed as she tried to understand why he was ending this sooner. If she was just a distraction, if this wasn’t that meaningful, why, then, did he have to escape here—and her—earlier? That bubble reformed and floated up again.
‘You’ve had enough time here?’ she asked.
He didn’t move.
‘Enough of me?’ she asked. ‘You don’t want one more night?’
He swallowed but still didn’t answer.
‘Are you running away, Ash?’
His jaw clenched. ‘It was always coming to an end, Merle. That was the agreement.’
‘Agreement?’ As if this really was some sort of bloodless business arrangement? As if emotions hadn’t tangled between them? ‘Why now, though? You’ve ended the game early. Reneged. Why?’
‘You’re that determined to have your last night with me?’
She paused, then stepped forward, which took all her courage. ‘Why does it have to be the last night at all?’ she asked bravely. ‘You could come back here while I’m still working.’
He didn’t give an inch. ‘I told you I’m never coming back.’
‘Aren’t you allowed to change your mind?’ she asked. ‘You told me I could change my mind any time. Why are the rules different for you?’
His expression hardened. ‘You know I don’t go past one night. Our fling was only longer because of... circumstance. I thought you understood that.’
It wasn’t because of circumstance. He’d chosen. And so had she. ‘You don’t think things have changed?’
He didn’t waver. ‘No.’
‘You don’t think this matters more than some brief fling?’ Her voice wobbled. ‘I don’t matter more?’
‘Merle—’
‘Don’t lie,’ she interrupted. ‘Don’t offer a platitude. Be honest. Why are you leaving early?’
‘Because I can’t stand to stay here a second longer.’
The buzzing sound in her ears was getting louder. It wasn’t an internal hum of frustration, it was a real noise. Her blindsided brain finally recognised it was a helicopter. Noisily, brutally drowning out the beautiful birdsong and the once calm environment. He wasn’t just leaving. This was an extraction. There was no other word for it. A precision operation to retrieve him from this hell zone as quickly as possible and return him to the soulless world in which he lived. Saving him from having to face things he’d once loved. Things that hurt.
But she was the one hurt. So very hurt. ‘You’re leaving right now?’
‘It’s the right thing to do.’
‘Right thing for who?’
Because he didn’t want to face her reaction for too long? Suddenly she was angry. Too bad for him. She’d never complained before—never stopped her mum and asked her to stay. Never stood up to her grandmother. Never asked her grandfather for help. She’d never fought for something that she’d really wanted. She’d never told them how their actions had really made her feel.
Not. This. Time.
Not when it was Ash himself who’d pulled this strength from her. Who’d shown her. She couldn’t stop the hurt and anger from bubbling out of her now.
‘You thought you could get away that easily?’ She stepped towards him. ‘You thought I’d say nothing—just smile and wave because I’m meek and useless at standing up for what I want?’
She had been. She wasn’t doing that any more.
He didn’t flinch. Didn’t smile. He looked as angry as she felt. ‘What do you want?’
‘More,’ she said bluntly. ‘And I think you do too. But you’re afraid. You got spooked yesterday. Because you talked to me and now you’re worried...’
He stilled. The helicopter had landed, the pilot cutting the engine so there was a fading whine.
‘What am I worried about?’ he asked harshly.
‘You want to stay like this for ever, don’t you?’
‘Like what?’
‘Angry. Denying yourself or anyone else in your life anything more.’
‘I’m not—’
‘You’re so angry. Because you’re hurt. And scared. You think you’re running away because you don’t want to deal with my emotions, but it’s your own emotions you’re really running away from.’
She’d gone too far. But it felt good—exhilarating even. She couldn’t silently let him leave.
‘What emotions do you think they are?’
‘That you love it here. That you’ve had a better time with me than you expected. That maybe...’ It seemed brazen to even think it and she couldn’t quite voice it. ‘You swim endless lengths to nowhere to avoid what’s right here in front of you.’
‘You’re right in front of me, Merle.’
Her heart pounded in her throat. ‘Exactly.’
He stared at her. ‘You’ve been the perfect distraction.’
And that was all she’d been? No.
‘I told you right from the start that I could never be anything to anyone,’ he argued. ‘Certainly not to someone like you, Merle.’
‘Someone like me?’
‘Someone who deserves more—’
‘We all deserve more,’ she snapped. ‘Everyone deserves to love and
