We didn’t say anything for a long while, both of us trying to catch our breath, our eyes never leaving each other. I felt… weightless under his gaze. As if this had been nothing more than a dream. That would explain my unorthodox behavior from the very second we met.
Slowly, he moved toward his desk, where I still lay, and grabbed some tissues to clean himself up. There was just something about the act that did funny things to my insides. Which was why it was taking me so long to pull myself out of my thoughts to realize I was still at work and this was in no way appropriate.
I made a move to get off the desk, when suddenly Dereck was there. A quick glance his way told me he had already cleaned up and tucked himself back inside his trousers. I was oddly... disappointed. He pulled me into his arms without another word and walked across his office to a door I hadn’t noticed before. I might have let out a small high-pitched squeak, I didn’t know, and when he finally walked inside of what happened to be an en suite bathroom in his office, I didn’t care.
He had his own bathroom. That was... crazy. My brother did pretty well for himself, so I wasn’t a stranger to luxurious things. I knew how the other half lived, though it hadn’t always been that way. We had been poor once, left orphaned when Jerimiah had just turned eighteen and I was seven, in a freak accident that took both of our parents. My memories of my parents were often hazy at best. My brother had been my entire world for as long as I could remember. And now… Jerimiah would be so disappointed to know that the fifty thousand a year he spent the past four years to put me through Yale had all led to me being nothing more than a plaything for my very rich boss.
I stiffened in Dereck’s arms, hating the direction of my thoughts then, and hating myself more because I wasn’t coerced into this. Dereck said he would have left me alone had I just said the word, and despite my only meeting him today, I trust that he would have kept his word. Perhaps that made me naïve, but he had looked very serious when he said it, while I had been doing nothing more but wondering what he looked like naked.
Dereck pulled me away from my thoughts when he pulled the handkerchief from the pocket of his suit, and after wetting it, he gently pried my legs opened and proceeded to clean me up. The act was oddly intimate.
I watched him, his brows furrowed in concentration, and he was extremely tender with me, as if I were breakable.
I didn’t want to be breakable, least of all, in his arms.
I wanted to be the strong woman my brother raised me to be. And I hated how that might have just been obliterated beneath Dereck’s touch.
I felt like crying then.
When he was done, he carelessly threw the handkerchief on the floor and gathered me in his arms. I went pliant against him, my face buried in his chest, seeking his warmth.
I was still naked, but I didn’t feel self-conscious. And I loved the way he held me, as if he didn’t want to let me go, and I loved the strong beat of his heart against the side of my face, as if he was just as affected by me as I was by him.
He rubbed my back in soothing circles, and all the turmoil I was in moments before vanished like smoke, if only for a small moment in time, offering me this temporary reprieve.
“What am I going to do with you?” Dereck said softly. I didn’t think he was looking for an answer from me, so I stayed silent.
Letting out a small sigh, I pushed away from him. He pulled back and took me in, a small frown causing a slight indent to form between his eyebrows.
“I have to go. I have to get back to work.”
His frown increased, and I fisted my hands at my sides, resisting the urge to smooth it away with my touch. “I have excused you for the rest of the day. You can spend it doing whatever you want. You can… stay here with me.”
He said the last part hesitantly, as if saying it made him vulnerable. I wanted to laugh at the ridiculous notion. Dereck was invulnerable.
“I can’t just ditch work. Today is my first day, and I was looking forward to it.”
Dereck’s eyes widened in panic before he gathered me into his arms once more. “Ah, Lily, please don’t cry. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you cry.”
I didn’t realize I was until he said it.
“What am I going to do?” I asked thickly. How would I face anyone after walking out of Dereck’s office?
I pulled away from him once more and hopped off the counter. I hadn’t felt self-conscious about my nakedness before, but I did now. Avoiding his eyes, I quickly walked out of bathroom and back into his office. My clothes were in a messy pile, laying on top of one another on the office floor.
The image nearly sent a fresh bout of tears to my eyes. It looked so… crude.
This wasn’t me.
I was a good girl.
I was ambitious.
I was determined to make my own way in the world, without having to live off of my brother for the rest of my life, but that all seemed to be blown to bits now, and it had been done so without much effort.
I pulled my clothes on, noting with distaste how my skirt had become wrinkled. I no longer looked professional. And despite what I said to Dereck, I knew I couldn’t return to work after this.
What a mess this whole day had turned out to be.
When I turned around, Dereck was standing near
